The Derivative Chapter 12: Tests

The Derivative Chapter 12: Tests

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 11

I let off a breath closing one text book I’d finished and moving to the next. “You know there’s a difference between learning and memorizing right?” Amita pointed out with a scoff glancing at me over top her laptop screen. 

“I am aware. One is knowing the other is understanding but for me they can understandably get intermingled” I explained as I began to go through the next book. 

Amita nodded “you’re really stressing about this test you have to do for school huh?” 

“Well it is kinda a big deal. The whole prospect of my graduating early is riding on it. That and me getting accepted into college” I explained. 

“Oh really what are you looking to study?” Amita inquired. 

“Mathematics like my uncle probably, maybe something a bit more hands on to” I explained. 

“You know combinatorics is a great field” she offered. 

I scoffed “if you don’t say so yourself” 

We both giggled “seriously though you should look at applying for CalSci. You could stay local. They have a history of accepting young brilliant minds and programs especially made for those who have spotty school records.” 

“You know Larry was saying something similar before” I voiced “maybe I will think about it.” 

“Plus I’ve been considering staying at CalSci longer to get my second PhD in physics so you’d have another friendly face on campus other than Charlie and Larry” 

“Seriously?” I thought about hanging around CalSci with the brainiac trio. “That sounds really cool”

“I think it’d be cool too and we could take you on a tour of the campus sometime even, you know, show you around” Amita offered. 

I smiled “yeah that’d be great” 

Just then my friend's phone went off and she answered it “hello? … yeah sure I’ll be right there.” she hung up and started packing her things. “Charlie needs my help for a case with Don.” she informed. 

“I can come-” 

“He said specifically not to bring you even if you asked. Sorry” Amita told me sympathetically. 

“Ugh eighteen can not come soon enough” I groaned. 

“There, there” Amita murmured teasingly, patting me on the shoulder as she headed out of the house. 

______________________________

“You know when you offered to take me on a campus tour I thought I’d see more than the computer lab” I voiced as the trio finished retesting their flight route math for a third time in the CalSci computer lab. 

“I’m sorry but this is very important for the case Don’s working on” Charlie breathed out then thought for a minute “by the way I would appreciate you not telling him I allowed you to help with this math” 

“Don’t worry Uncle C, unlike some people I can keep a secret” I muttered. The man shot me a look but let the subject go as we all mulled over what we might have missed. 

“I don’t get it,” Uncle Charlie declared finally from his seat on the table behind where Amita was working. “The aircraft should have originated from an airfield that the FBI checked out” 

“Maybe they didn’t use an airfield” I suggested from where I sat next to the computer. “Like a highway or something” 

“Well then there would have been witnesses” Amita pointed out to the contrary. 

“You know, here’s where I get reductive on your ass,” Larry spoke up standing “cause you keep saying aircraft but so far no one’s been able to identify whatever it was that people saw.” 

“What are you saying, Larry?” Amita questioned. 

“I’m saying instead of building a flight path, let’s try focusing on the object itself,” Larry suggested. 

“You know what?” Charlie spoke up, hopping off his table “he’s right.” 

“Wait, you're agree that it could be a UFO?” I inquired of my uncle. 

“No, but focusing on the craft might yield better results.” The man explained coming over “We could get a visual of the object by building in all the radar sources at the same time, yes, civilian and military.” 

“So overlap the radar sources?” Amita clarified as she began to type into the computer. 

“That’s right” Charlie confirmed “by layering the images we could build a three dimensional cross section of it” 

Amita typed on the computer for a moment and we all leaned in to see “there” she finally declared “now it’s working off of all seven radar sources.” 

“And it’s building an image of the object,” Larry added. 

We watched as slowly an image began to appear. What we saw looked surprisingly Sci-fi. “Charlie? Is that what I think it is?” Amita inquired. 

“Larry I’m sorry I doubted you” I muttered. 

“Now, le-let’s be very, very careful” Charlie stammered “we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions or make any assumptions. There could be any number of reasons why that looks like-” 

“A vehicle from another part of the universe” Larry finished Charlie’s statement. 

___________

3rd POV.

“Hey Charlie” Don greeted his brother knocking on the door to the office space the professor was using in the library. 

“Hey” the young brother replied, writing on a piece of paper. 

“What’s up?”  

“Just grading tests for my Nonlinear Dynamics class.” Charlie informed. 

“Glad to see you’re taking my advice and having some fun” Don commented. 

“Well, you don’t look like you’ve been having too much fun” the younger brother pointed out, eyeing his brother as Don sat down. 

Don sighed “aw man this Gosnell case. Not to mention Abby has to take that test today in school to see if she can get out early.” 

“I’m sure she’ll pass” Charlie reassured “and you know Amita’s already talked her into applying for CalSci” 

“Yeah I’m just stressed on her behalf I guess” the older brother explained “and anyway with this case I just had to tell a guy that his dad died” Don let off another breath slouching in his seat. 

Charlie put down his pencil and turned to give his brother more of his attention “I spent all that time trying to figure out where the plane went. Turns out the pilot didn’t even know, because the rudder was busted.” 

“See, that’s the thing” Don explained “I got to find out where he was headed, ‘cause I think that’s why he was killed. You got any ideas? Anything at all?” 

Charlie sighed packing up his papers and standing “maybe. Could I, uh could I get some data off the flight recorder?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I can see if, uh, Erica can drop some by.” Don offered. “Maybe Amita can help you out” A small smile came to Charlie’s face at the suggestion and Don couldn’t help the knowing grin that came to his face. “Dad said she’s sticking around.” 

“Did he?” Charlie asked, turning to his brother. 

“Well, you happy about that?” Don inquired. 

“Um, are you asking me as her thesis advisor or..?” Charlie ended with a slight chuckle. 

Don scoffed at the blush forming on his younger brother’s features “you tell me” 

“Yeah, I’m happy,” Charlie admitted. 

They were quiet for a moment then another thought occured to Don “hey, what’s the deal I thought you were playing golf today.” 

“Oh no.” Charlie quickly replied “you know, I’m really no use on the golf course.” 

Don sat up as his brother took the seat across from him again “Charlie you know why he likes playing with you, don’t you?” 

“I have no idea” Charlie voiced “because I-I’ve got to be the worst golfer in the history of the game” 

Don shook his head surprised that his genius of a little brother could be so clueless sometimes “No. it’s the one time he gets to teach you something. You understand?” he explained “I mean I’m learning for myself that it’s not easy raising a genius. That’s his one time” Don wasn’t sure Charlie got what he was saying but just then his phone went off “oh excuse me” he stood up to take the call. “Eppes” 

“Don” David’s voice answered “the forensic report from Gosnell’s workshop just came in. We found David Croft’s fingerprints all over the shop.” 

“But I thought you said he hadn’t seen him in years” Don questioned confused. 

“And so he said” David replied 

“All right, look, uh, take a team, pick him up” Don instructed, rubbing his forehead and the bridge of his nose with his hand “I’ll meet you at the office, okay?” 

“You got it,” David agreed before hanging up. 

Don pocketed his phone again “alright kid I got to go. See you later” he called to Charlie who nodded his farewell before Don was out the door. 

_________

“I pass the dang test and as a reward I get to come out here and watch you all golf in this heat” Abby complained “that’s so not fair” 

“Ah come on kid a little exercise never hurt anybody” Don objected “maybe you could try it out for yourself” 

“No thank you” the teenager replied edgily heading toward the bench with her backpack full of reading material. 

“Where’s Chuck?” Don asked, realizing his younger brother was not in sight. 

“I don’t know last I looked, he was right behind us.” Alan replied looking around. “Oh there he is” he voiced when they spotted the younger man coming up to the bench at another angle. 

“Hey dad,” Charlie called, dragging his clubs up the incline. “Your clubs weigh a ton” 

“Are you kidding, I've used those clubs for ten years” Alan replied looking in his own golf bag as Abby made herself comfortable on the bench. “There’s nothing wrong with them” 

“Dad, they’re older than he is,” Don pointed out, going over to look in Charlie’s bag. “I don’t even think they make wood clubs anymore.”

“Yeah I know” Alan said “but each one of ‘em’s got a great sweet spot.” 

“Put ‘em in a museum,” Don commented. 

“Eh, when Charlie gets better, I’ll buy him a set of his own” Alan offered. 

“Well isn’t that encouraging” Abby muttered already part way through the novel on her lap. 

“Come on, Charlie, maybe this is the day you’ll par a hole.” Alan suggested. 

“I’d just like to get the ball in the hole. That’s all” Charlie stated as Don came over to sit next to his daughter on the bench. 

“So you passed the test” Don spoke to his kid as Alan talked to his. “What’s next?” 

“I wait and hope CalSci accepts me,” Abby declared looking up from her book. “But who knows if that’s going to happen.” 

“Well aren’t you pessimistic” Don muttered. 

“Well Donald I had to get it from somewhere” Abby replied with a smirk. 

“Yeah your mother” Don stated with a slight grin. 

“Funny she said the same thing about you” Abby advised and the pair shared a laugh as Charlie came over to join them. 

“Alright Alan show us how it’s done” Don called to his father and the three watched as the eldest among them swung the golf club. 

Chapter 13 ->

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4 years ago

The Derivative  Chapter 11: Prediction

Chapter 1 <- Chapter 10

My foot tapped repeatedly as I sat in a chair outside the principal's office. I had no idea why I had been called out of my english class to be here. Not that I was complaining about being taken out of a monotonous lecture on adjectives and adverbs. 

“Hey Abby” I looked up as the door opened and Mrs. Clive was there looking down at me. “Come on in” 

I grabbed my backpack and walked into the office, Clive closing the door behind me. Principal Brick was sitting behind his desk. I always thought his name fit his features with how square his head was. 

“Take a seat Abby” he offered, I nodded and sat down. Clive took the seat next to me. “I’ve heard a lot about you Ms. Calvin from Mrs. Clive here as well as your other teachers. Many of whom are concerned about certain behavioral issues you’ve shown since joining us here.” 

“If this is about that fight in the cafeteria I thought we had that sorted out I mean I didn’t cause it” I quickly defended myself sitting up in my seat. 

“We know Abby, that's not what we’re talking about” Clive reassured me. 

“Then what is it?” I asked, growing suspicious. 

Brick sat forward resting his hands on his desk. “To be completely honest with you Abby, originally we were led to believe by your social worker, a Mr. Grant, that your behavioral problems would be expected considering your history with the foster system and problematic past parent situation.” I shifted in my seat “however, Mrs. Clive has brought a different perspective onto the situation”

My head snapped to look at the teacher. She had a light smile on her face “I got into contact with a friend of mine Michelle Wiat she’s a principal at an elementary school it turned out you attended. She told me about the advanced courses she put you in College Algebra, Calculus. As well as your IQ testing she provided all the documentation as well” 

There was a moment where my brain was flustered hearing Ms. Wiat’s name again after so long. Then I finally collected my thoughts “so what does this mean? Are you finally putting me in advanced courses?” 

“Not exactly” Brick objected “we believe at this time that this school can no longer provide what you need to learn” 

“In other words we know you’re not thriving here” Clive cut in “so I’ve arranged here with Mr. Brick for you to possibly test out of high school” 

I was stunned at the news but felt excitement bubbling within me “serious like no more school?” 

“Part of it will require you to continue your education somewhere else such as college, university, or career center but you will no longer be attending high school” Brick explained. 

“This is awesome,” I cheered excitedly. 

“Don’t get too excited you’ll have to take a test to prove you’re capable and that’s only if your father approves all of this” Clive clarified. 

I felt my excitement hit a wall “my father?” 

“Yes we’ll be sending you home today with a note detailing everything and asking for a parent teacher conference to discuss any other issues that may come of this” Brick informed “since you are still a minor you can’t just make these decisions on your own” 

“Right” I murmured as Brick handed me a letter. 

“Don’t worry Abby this will all work out and then we’ll get to see what heights you’ll truly be able to reach” Clive reassured me with a hand on my shoulder. As I looked at the paper I didn’t feel as sure. 

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

3rd POV. 

Abby sat out in the hallway at school. She was reading Twelve Years a Slave. The nine year old had been kicked out of her 4th grade class for calling another kid an asshole after he broke her pencils. 

“Abigail” she looked up at the familiar disappointed voice of the principal. 

“Hello” the girl greeted. “Call me Abby” 

The principal, Mrs. Wiat, sighed and sat down next to the girl. “Whatcha reading?” 

“Twelve Years a Slave” Abby replied, showing the teacher the book cover. 

“Advanced book for someone your age” The principal voiced genuinely surprised. 

“It’s a good read but I feel bad for Solomon. He just wants to escape his captivity.” Abby voiced “he didn’t ask for any of his problems he just got dragged into it” 

“Do you relate to him?” The woman pressed sensing something. 

Abby shrugged and didn’t make eye contact. “Maybe a little” 

“Abby, you know calling people mean things is wrong” The principal explained. 

“But he broke my pencils,” the girl defended. 

“I understand but lashing out isn’t the answer” Mrs. Wiat kept her voice even as she spoke. “Abby, you've been fighting with other kids and not doing your homework. Is there something going on at home? Something you want to tell me?” 

The girl shook her head quickly “no nothing” 

“Okay” the principal nodded. “Then why don’t you do your homework?” 

“Because isn’t the point of homework to practice the stuff you learn in class?” The fourth grader asked. 

“That’s right,” the principal nodded. “Which is why you need to do it to learn.” 

“But I already know the stuff,” Abby objected. “I mean I get perfect scores on the tests so why do I have to do the homework?” 

The principal found herself speechless at the fourth graders logic. “Because it factors into your grade” 

“Well what's more important in school for me to learn or for me to get good grades?” The girl challenged. 

“Abby” the principal sighed. Then a thought came to her “I want to send a note home with you for your mother” the principal explained “I want to talk to her and get you in a more advanced program at least for your reading level maybe math also” 

“Does this program have homework?” Abby questioned. 

The principal chuckled lightly “Unfortunately Abby all of life has homework.”

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Abby POV. 

“What you think he’ll say no?” Charlie asked as he moved some papers around on the table. 

“I don’t know what he’s going to say,” I exclaimed, my chin resting on the table the note from my teachers in my hands. “That’s the part that bothers me.” 

“Well then I suppose the only way to resolve that would be to ask him” Charlie argued. I let out a breath in a huff. “Listen Abby, you've been arguing to learn more advanced curriculum since you got here and I’d wager even before then. This is a great chance for you. I’m sure Don will see that and let you test out okay?” 

“Yeah” I murmured. “Don’t tell him about this though I want to be the first one to talk to him” 

“My lips are sealed” the mathematician vowed as he typed on his laptop. 

A moment later Alan came in from the kitchen and I folded the note and stuffed it in my pocket. “Hey,” he greeted “Charlie whatcha working on there?” 

“Sabermetrics” Uncle C replied with a sigh “baseball math found on a dead man’s computer Don’s having me look at it for a case” 

“Oh” Alan murmured a little put off from the dead man fact. He walked up behind Charlie peering over his shoulder “What do these formulas tell you?” 

“The ones I’ve recovered indicate that the Dodgers are not on the right track to win the pennant next year” Charlie informed. 

“Like you needed math to figure that one out, huh?” Gramps muttered. 

Charlie chuckled “no” 

“I heard that, uh, Don was leaning towards the wife.” Alan voiced. 

“That’s right,” Charlie confirmed. 

“Seems to be the first place they look nowadays” Alan mused. 

“I don’t understand” Charlie agreed “I mean, if you hate the person you’re married to that much, get divorced.” 

“Even the thought of divorce holds its own special horrors, let me tell you” Alan sighed. 

“Well, you and mom never thought about- I mean, I was never witness to any kind of-” Charlie stammered as his father leaned on a chair. 

“That’s exactly the way we wanted it.”  Alan explained. Charlie shifted in his chair, eyes still fixed on Alan urging him to continue “well, it was a long time ago, we, um. We had a little rough patch there for a moment, but we got through it.” 

Charlie closed his laptop slowly and I looked between the two men wondering where this conversation was going “how rough a patch are we talking about?” Uncle C questioned. 

“It was when you were 13 years old,” Alan offered willingly “and you went off to Princeton.” 

“Mom came with me,” Charlie added. 

“The separation was pretty hard on both of us” Alan admitted “and aside from the money matters, there was this irrational jealousy. Anyway, even the possibility of divorce was never discussed, because we loved each other too much.” 

“I don’t remember any of it,” Charlie murmured. “I don’t even remember a raised voice between the two of you.” 

“That’s because your mother and I both agreed that we wouldn’t stress you or Don any more than we had to.” Alan explained sitting down. “Charlie that’s how parents argue in front of their children; they disguise the big things as little things.” 

Charlie was quiet for a moment looking at his work. I stood up and made to leave the room a churning feeling in my gut. “Abby you alright?” Alan called after me. 

“Yeah, yeah fine I just, homework” I lied horribly but Gramps didn’t seem to be questioning it and I didn’t really give him time to before I was bolting up the stairs. 

I collapsed on the bed in Don’s old room. Charlie going to college early had put a huge strain on his parents' lives. What kind of strain would I be putting on Don if I graduated early? In all my nagging why hadn’t I considered how this would affect Don. After everything my mom went through and sacrificed for me growing up was I really going to make my other parent sacrifice for me too? Let alone one I’d only known for less than a year? 

I groaned and grabbed the pillow covering my face. When did my life get so complicated? 

_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

3rd POV. 

Abby sat bored in yet another class at school. She glanced at the clock and sighed. Wondering how difficult it would be to slip out a side door during a passing block. The public library wasn’t too far from the school and it would be open at this time. 

Then her mom's words came back to her. She glanced around the class all of whom were still working on the algebra assignment she had already finished. How was she going to become friends with any of them? Most of them were upper middle class with well to do parents. Nice clothes, new backpacks, and cell phones. Abby wore thrift store clothes, had an old backpack that had seen better days, and never had a cell phone in her life. 

The bell rang jogging her from her thoughts. Gathering her things Abby headed out into the hallway. Going to the freshman lockers to ditch her stuff from algebra and grab her English stuff. 

They were reading “Of Mice and Men” which she had already read years prior. She remembered every word and had told her teacher as much but the woman had still insisted that Abby bring her copy to class everyday. Despite the obvious redundancy. 

“Hey gutter kid” Abby heard the call and turned just in time to get hit in the face by someone’s backpack. “Oops looks like Miss smarty pants isn’t much of a quick thinker.” 

Abby recovered quickly and looked to see who had thrown the bag. She wasn’t surprised to see a gaggle of laughing popular kids not far off. She looked down at the back pack and reared punting it down the hall. 

She smirked broadly as one of the kids ducked and another got a face full as she had. 

“Why you little” One of the kids came at her, pinning her to the locker. She kicked out on reflex and before she knew it a fight had broken out in the hallway. 

When a teacher finally showed up and pulled them apart. Abby was shocked that he first turned to the kid who had started it. 

“What happened?” the teacher asked them. 

“She attacked me-“ 

“I did not you liar!” Abby objected loudly. 

“You be quiet” The teacher ordered her. 

“But I didn’t-“ 

“Come on I’m taking you to the office now” the teacher ordered. He grabbed Abby’s arm and led her down the hallway. 

Not long after she was sitting outside the principal's office. She could hear everything going on inside. 

“She has a history of ditching” the teacher, Mr. Simons, was saying. “And now she’s picking fights.” 

“Abby skips because she isn’t learning anything in her classes if you put her in the advanced class-“ 

“That girl shouldn’t even be in regular classes,” Simons objected. “And don’t act like she’s some genius from the look of her I’d say she skips to go out drinking and do drugs-“ 

“Don’t you dare talk about my daughter like that!” Janice yelled. 

“Settle down both of you and Simons sit the hell down” the principal suddenly snapped. Then continued in a quieter but not any less tense tone “What exactly did Chris say happened?” 

“That she attacked him in the hallway” Simons stated “unprovoked” 

“Alright and what did Abby-“ 

“Why do you need any more convincing? It’s obvious what happened! What are you going to trust the word of some delinquent that can’t be bothered to show up to class or the straight A quarterback.” 

“My daughter is no liar!” Janice exclaimed. “She doesn’t go to class because she already knows everything that’s being taught cuz you refuse to put her in the advanced classes” 

“Do you really think a girl with elementary school education like Swiss cheese is actually going to make it in an advanced class?” Simons scoffed arrogantly. 

“She can remember everything that she’s ever read perfectly just ask her” Janice shot back. 

“Will you two stop!” The principal exclaimed and sighed. “I’m putting both students involved on temporary suspension” 

“What!” Simons exclaimed. The office descended into loud bouts of indiscernible yelling. Abby closed her eyes and tuned them and the world out the best she could. 

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

“You alright?” Charlie asked hesitantly as him and Don left the Lorman group headquarters. 

“Yeah” Don murmured “It’s just all this stuff about predicting human potential I can’t help thinking about how it’d impact Abby you know?” he explained as the pair loaded into his SUV. “I mean she doesn’t really talk about it but I got enough from her social worker to know that her and Janice lived in some not great neighborhoods growing up.” 

“And this predictive model would have slighted against her despite her potential” Charlie inferred. 

“Exactly I mean she’s incredibly smart” Don explained “and I’ve been trying to go to bat with her regarding these advanced courses and stuff. Like, you were already in college at her age and she’s that same kind of smart. I just want her to have all the opportunities she deserves.” 

Charlie chuckled slightly “you know this side of you Abby brings out it- its kinda weird” 

“Yeah? Good weird or bad weird?” Don inquired. 

“Definitely good weird” Charlie assured. 

Don sighed “I guess I finally just understand what Mom and Dad meant when they said they wanted the world for us, you know. And that’s what I want for Abby” Don explained and Charlie smiled working very hard to keep his mouth shut about Abby’s letter from her teachers. 

_____________

Don glanced up at Abby as she ate her fries, her eyes scanning over the book she had laying on the table. They were eating dinner in their apartment now that he was back from the long case he’d just worked. The man took a deep breath deciding he had given her enough time “so I talked to Ms. Clive today and set up the time for the parent/teacher conference” 

Abby’s head snapped up so fast he was a little concerned “how did you? Did she tell you? Uh…” she fumbled over her words. 

Don scoffed setting down his burger “Abby, first off my job is to figure things out second off if you want a secret kept your uncle is the last person you should tell” Abby groaned putting her head in her hands and muttering a curse word or two towards Charlie. Don chuckled lightly “the only thing I don’t get is why you didn’t tell me. I mean, this is what you’ve been after forever I thought you would have jumped at it” 

“I was and I am… excited” Abby replied carefully biting her lip nervously which made Don shift in his seat. “It’s just… I know me going to college early is a big deal and it’s going to change things for me a- and for you and I didn’t want to make your life harder than I already had” 

Don was surprised by the confession and even more concerned as his daughter refused to make eye contact with him. He thought about what to say and only one thing came to mind “Abby I want the world for you” he told her. 

The girl looked up in surprise, her eyes meeting her father’s “what?”

“Listen I don’t care if this is going to change some things. Because I’m here for you” Don explained “Listen, I appreciate the concern but it’s the parents job to worry about the kid not the other way around or at least not until I’m old and gray” a small smile spread on Abby’s face. 

“Thanks Don” Abby told him. 

“Yeah, of course” Don nodded and he could tell Abby felt a lot better. Not just from this situation but it was like another wall had fallen down, chain had been released. And for him it was like another puzzle had been solved, another crisis averted. For both another step toward being family. 

Chapter 12 -> 


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1 year ago

Once again I’m doing Netflix’s job for them.

Queer Eye season 7 is on Netflix now, go watch it!

Once Again I’m Doing Netflix’s Job For Them.
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Learn Something New Everyday #3

(yes I missed yesterday and this is last minute but don’t judge) 

You can turn off the task bar on Among Us


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4 years ago

I think the obsession with having been “born this way” largely stems from the idea that you need to be “innocent” to be guiltless. 

If something is weird then you need to have no control over it, otherwise it would be mandatory to fix it. If I said that I had control over my stimming and could stop it at any time, people would request I do so. Not for my comfort but for theirs. If I said that I had control over my gender and could be something binary or maybe even cis, people would request I do so. If I said that I have control over my sexuality and could make myself heterosexual, people would request I do so. If I said I could control my attraction and could make myself monogamous, people would request I do so. If I said that I could control my disability and could choose to stop a flair up in its tracks, people would request I do so. They would never ask out of the goodness of their hearts, they would always be asking because I was annoying, concerning, distracting, or inconveniencing them. 

Diversity is sometimes only tolerated if you have no control. If you have control, rules will be made to stop it. Hair will be straightened, clothes will be standardized, languages will be shushed, interests will be squashed, weight will be lost, and so on and so on and so on. Proving that we were born this way replaces the more obvious, that we’re okay this way. I don’t need to be a helpless victim of my differences to be forgiven for them. My differences aren’t crimes. 

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