If There Ever Comes A Day Where You No Longer Cross My Mind, Just Know I Did Everything For You.

it’s 12:04 in the afternoon, and i’m here in my messy bedroom. My head is kind of against the wall, my back on the pillow and i don’t know how to explain - seriously, how can i be a good writer?

right now, i don’t know my purpose. i think i’ve forgotten what i really want to do with my life. i’m so bored. ugh, idk

my jaw dropped (in preparation)

I’m so fucked

Things to do at home

While we are all just stuck home, I decided to compile a bunch of ideas what to do:

Cook or learn to cook

Meditate

Stretch

Work out (I recommend blogilates!)

Take care of plants (repot them…) or if you have a garden then work there

Clean

Tidy and declutter using the konmari method

Read

Watch movies

Start a new series

Sew

Embroidery

Alter clothes

Make new outfits

Write

Draw

Learn a new skill

Research things you are interested in (minimalism, witchcraft..)

Teach your pet a new trick

Play around with make up

Detox (coffee, make up…)

Indoor photography

Sexy stuff (alone or with your partner)

Redecorate

Journal

Create new music playlist

Have you ever tried just existing in silence for 5 minutes?

Build a pillow fort

Find a new favourite channel

Do some yoga

Try bullet journaling

Have a self-care day

Play video games

Learn a dance choreo from youtube

Walk around naked

Learn to sing a whole song

Look for new music

Call your friends and family

Fix what needs fixing

Feel free to add more ideas!

It’s 2019. You need motivation? No, what you need is discipline.  IT’S TIME TO FOCUS. Force yourself to do things. Force yourself to get up early, make your bed, go get ready, and go. Force yourself to make plans for the day, and follow through with all those plans. Force yourself to get to class early so you can look over the material. Force yourself to pay attention in class and turn off your phone or at least put it on silent. Stop texting your friends and going on Instagram in class. You are wasting your time, so why even bother going to class if your are going to be distracted? Be selfish. Stop giving your time to people that do not matter. YOUR TIME IS SO SO PRECIOUS. STOP WASTING IT! This is the most important thing that you can do right now, take care of you and your education. Stop being distracted by the world and it’s never ending problems. This is the time that you need to put toward yourself because you are the greatest investment of your life. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. EVERYDAY is a chance to wake up and give your 150%. EXHAUST yourself. That is the only way to give your all. At the end of the day, you should be exhausted from working so much, from reading so much, from exercising so much. Don’t go home because you are tired. Do whatever you need to get done and don’t come home until it’s all done. Stay late at the library. You feel tired? Good. That is how you know you are giving it your best. Go to the gym, and give your work out your all. When you go home, you should feel like you are drained. You should feel like you have nothing left to give because you gave it your all. Because then, you can be proud of yourself and everything you have achieved. Giving it your all is what matters. Give your all every single day. Discipline your mind and your body and you will become successful. You fall back one day? That is O.K., try the next day. You are human, so accept your mistakes. However, love yourself enough to know that you will never give up working on yourself and your dreams. THIS IS IT. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Right now, no matter what circumstances we are all in, is what matters. Take advantage of today. Write down your dreams and force yourself to work toward them, one day at a time.  IT’S TIME TO FOCUS. THIS is your year. This is your life. One day at a time baby. One day at a time. Go ahead and don’t stop.

(via not-now-im-studying)

idk... i feel so empty

i am, unfortunately, a victim of this. i was a whole ass achiever with extracurriculars meanwhile he barely passed his classes, and he had no emotional intelligence on top of that. i keep making dating mistakes.

i saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by a mediocre bf

Mahmoud Darwish, from Unfortunately, It Was Paradise: Selected Poems; “The Flute Cried,”

“Because you are empty you hold space. Inescapable, you are always escaping me.”

— Rodger Kamenetz, from “The Poetry Pure,” Yonder (Lavender Ink, 2018)

Post 5 -they both die at the end

adam silvera must be the most talented writer of the century to be able to trick almost all of his readers into thinking rufus and mateo would survive even though the title of the book is literally ‘they both die at the end’. still can’t believe i fell for that trickery

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.