In The Spirit Of The Holidays, We Have A Gift For The Best Fans In The World: More Death & Dream.

Well...

Lyra Valkeria makes her Wrestlemania 41 entrance.

Me: "Well, I have a new kink now..."

The Reading Pile Pt. 3

I'm now working exclusively on the graphic novels, as that pile has gotten waaaaaay too big.

Quantum & Woody: The Complete Series Omnibus I absolutely loved this series when it originally came out. There really wasn't anything like it out there, certainly not from a major publisher (and yes, at that time, Valiant/Acclaim was a major publisher). The book features an Odd Couple-style duo of "super-heroes", forced to be together. Each wears a control band that must be clanked together every 24 hours or they will die. Hilarity ensues. While there is a ton of humor, mainly in the different dynamic of the two characters and a bunch of fourth-wall breaking (the best being the 3 pages in the beginning of issue #4 where Quantum & Woody complain about all the graphic violence the book can get away with, but can't use naughty words), it can not be classified as a humor book, as there is many serious and dramatic situations throughout. The book stars Quantum as the Felix Unger of the group. He takes super-heroing earnestly. He's orderly and meticulous and serious. Woody, the Oscar Madison type, is his complete opposite. He doesn't take the super-hero lifestyle very seriously (the best being his insistence on taking elevators rather that climbing up & down the outside of buildings), is a slob and does everything chaotically. One of dynamics of the team is that Quantum & Woody are childhood friends who both grew up in rich, suburban Connecticut. Which is an issue for Quantum, who is African-American. The series, written and drawn by Christopher Priest and Mark "M.D." Bright (both of whom are also African-American) doesn't shy away from this. The biggest problem with the series is that there is a lot of "jokes" based on Quantum & Woody not being a gay couple. While this was okay-ish in the '90s, in the 2020s, it's just uncomfortable. It worse when at one point Woody goes on a 2 page rant about how all villains are secretly "in the closet" (though Woody doesn't use any terms that would be considered PC). Despite this, the series is still worth the read and I highly recommend it. Just... be prepared for the cringe. Valiant - HC cover price, $99.99 (Out of print) - Kindle, free with a Kindle Unlimited membership.

Also important stuff.

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

The next time they tell you Americans are “happy” with their employer provided health insurance remember that that “happiness” is fueled by willful ignorance of what the alternatives are really like and fear of losing what little crappy health care they currently have.

The Recent Realization That Completely Took Me By Surprise

“I’ve made the decision.  I’m giving up on dating.”

I made this proclamation to a friend sometime in the very early 2000s.  I was tired of everything that went with dating, or trying to get dates, and had gotten to a point where I, quite frankly, just didn’t give a damn anymore.  I was happier being alone, relationship wise.

My friend scoffed at me, and as I told others, they did too.  But for the past (approximately) 14 years, that’s been the story.  There really was no one I actively wanted to date.

So it came as quite a shock to me when one night a couple of months ago, as I was out at a bar with a group of friends, it became clear to me that I really wanted to ask one of them out on a date.

[This, BTW, is not the realization this blog post is about.]

I did not react well to this.  Remember a few months ago when I was making Vaugebook posts about frustration and falling into old mental traps?  Well, now you know why.  I had so many questions I couldn’t answer.  Where did this come from?  Why was this suddenly happening?  I was happy not being in the dating scene, why would I suddenly want to screw that up?  Why her?  I didn’t really consider how she would feel.  I was 99% sure she wasn’t interested.  In fact, I think I would’ve been more worried if I asked her out and she actually said yes!

A week later, I travelled to New York City to visit a couple of friends of mine.  While there, I discussed my recent revealation.  They had become engaged a couple of weeks before, so I took their view of my situation with a huge grain of salt.

But as I spent the day with them, and watched them together, I became aware that I wanted exactly what they had.

That connection. That emotional bonding. That love.

[This, also, is not the realization this blog post is about.  Stay with me here.]

I got on the train home and began thinking about everything and every emotion, past and present; what had led me to where I had been and to where I was now.  And somewhere between Harlem and Greenwich, I discovered the truth.

The truth was that, during all those years, I had wanted to date.

I had wanted that connection. That bonding. That love.

The problem was, during that time and up until recently, I didn’t love myself.  Truth be told, I down right loathed myself for most of that time.  And because of that, I didn’t think I deserved to be loved by anyone.

So when I would meet a woman who I thought was special, I would think to myself, “Too bad I don’t want to date anyone”, and put it out of my mind.

This is the revelation this blog post is about.  The revelation that, “I don’t want to date anyone”, was really my brain’s way of saying, “You don’t deserve anyone’s love.”

And once I realized that, everything going on fell into place.

I love myself now. I’m ready to date. I’m ready to love someone else now.

But, most of all, I’m ready to accept that someone can love me the same way.

We are playing Tapestry for the first time. The 12-sided die is the die you roll for the science track. We have already dubbed it "Bill Nye The Science Die."

Everyone wins.

Things I need to remember. I don't know how many times I quit something quickly because I wasn't doing it perfect immediately.