The Next Time They Tell You Americans Are “happy” With Their Employer Provided Health Insurance Remember

So much truth.

As a bigger guy, my greatest fear walking down a street at night is that women around me will think I’m following them and freak out

Rule #51

I did something today that I had been wanting to do for years now.

I made an apology.

I had been wanting to make this apology for so long now.  I kept hoping that I would someday run into her at a super market or a bar or something and I could make my apology to her.

Back in the early ‘90s, we were in a relationship.  Not a long time, maybe 6 months at most.  And the entire time, I just treated her horribly.  Not physically, but mentally & emotionally, I was just the absolute shits to her.

And I know why I did.  I had been really mistreated in the past two relationships before this one, and I took it out on her.  I took all my anger, my frustration, my sorrow out of me and I fed it to her.  It’s not an excuse, because there is no excuse really.  It’s just the sad fact.

I didn’t realize what I was doing then.  It was quite a while after it was over that I saw what I had done.  And I felt ashamed for having done it.  And I felt sorry for her for having to experience it.  And I hated myself for doing it.  For treating her the way I had been treated.  Why would I do that? (Looking back now, I realize that this is probably where the true self-loathing that would come to define most of the past 20+ years of my life probably began. The first step on a long road.)

Ever since I became aware of what I had done, I had been wanting to see her again so I could apologize.  Not for my own sake.  But because she genuinely deserved it.

Today it hit me that it would probably be really easy for me to find her on Facebook.  We probably had mutual friends that would make it easy to identify her in a search.  And I was right.  I did a search for her and, due to mutual friends, it took me all of 10 seconds to find her.

I clicked the message button and wrote my apology.  It wasn’t long before i got a reply thanking me for the apology and wishing me well.  I don’t know if she really means it; you can’t tell on the internet.  But if she’s still the person I knew then, then she probably does.

More from the Reading Pile

Fortunately The Milk A fun children's story that can be enjoyed by all ages. Skottie Young's art works perfectly with the wild story (a dad tells the story of why it took him so long to go buy a bottle of milk). It's written by Neil Gaiman, so decide for yourself if you want to support it (I had already purchased it before all the news broke). Harper Collins Children - HC $19.99, SC $9.99

Wrestling Unmasked: Ripping the Mask off the Crime, Politics and Intrigue Beyond The Ring A collection of various articles from the British Wrestletalk Magazine from the early 2020s. They are well written and dive into the ugly history of the industry. If you're a long time wrestling fan like me (since the mid '80s), you probably know most of these stories already. But the articles are well written and in some cases personal. Worth picking up, especially if you are recent fan to the squared circle. Wrestletalk.com - ebook £6.99, print SC £14.99, also available from Amazon

Snarf Quest: The Book A graphic novel of the first story line of Larry Elmore's "Snarf Quest" comic from the back of Dragon magazine of the 1980s. It's entertainingly silly and goofy and doesn't take it's self seriously at all (it features a time traveling wizard, a robot that crash lands in front of Snarf and a dragon that thinks it's a duck). Also, it's Larry Elmore, so all of the women are beautiful and scantly clad, but at least they don't fall into the "damsel in distress" trope. A fun read. If you can find it cheap, snap it up. TSR Inc - Cover Price $9.95 (out of print)

I am sorry. I’m bashing Apple here. And for good reason.

This is a plea to my followers.

Stop buying Apple products. I know you’ve used them for most of your life, and I know it’s inconvenient to move to a new brand because in most cases, you cannot take your contacts with you on various chat apps.

I know this is inconvenient. I truly do.

But Apple is not the company it was before. There is now no difference between an Apple computer and a Windows computer in terms of graphic design. I know this for a fact. I had to use both in college 20 years ago, and non-apple computers are now generally better for design work than Apple computers.

Most non-apple companies encourage self-repair of your own devices, while Apple refuses it. I also know this for a fact, as I watched Apple computers become slowly less reparable through the late 90s and early 2000s. Where I was once able to do the repairs on our office computers, we had to start sending out our Apple devices because they started gluing things down on their logic boards. Notably the glue they used was not heat-resistant and led to device damage should the heat sink system fail. But they did this because they wanted to dig more money out of their customers.

Apple software is also designed to fail. I cannot believe people are still buying new devices after the scandal where Apple was slowing their phones in order to force people to purchase new versions.

Apple hardware is designed to become obsolete. Motherboards and logic boards are designed to hold exactly what comes attached to them and will fail if upgrade attempts are made.

Apple refuses to work with software developers despite promises of cross-compatibility. One of the very first coding problems I discovered was to discover a gigantic hole in a software program that made a plotter (giant printer) compatible with iOS. This caused a memory leak, leading to necessary resets of the computer after every 2 feet of printing.

I know that it’s not possible for most of you to just throw your devices away and buy a new one. I wouldn’t be able to do that, either. But eventually there will come a time when you have to upgrade, and I encourage you to take the plunge and purchase a non-apple device. I don’t even have a recommendation for you because literally anything is better than Apple. A rock that you write on is better than an Apple phone.

Unfortunately I expect to be shadow-banned on Apple devices because of this, and I’ll try to report on decreased activity as much as I can.

It’s time to stop trying to beg Apple to change. They won’t. It’s time now to just stop supporting Apple.

We are playing Tapestry for the first time. The 12-sided die is the die you roll for the science track. We have already dubbed it "Bill Nye The Science Die."

Weight loss update

Weight loss total: >75 pounds.  I don’t have an exact number because I was too big for my scale when I started.

Shirt size: down 2 sizes

Pants size: down 8 sizes

I’ve had to buy new underpants twice now because my old ones wouldn’t stay up anymore.  As problems go, this is not a bad one to have.

I would be lying if I said I’m not posting this to brag.  I am.  But I also post this in the hopes that someone will look at it and go, “If he can do it then so can I.”  I needed inspiration to get to this point, and I want to pass it on to someone else.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Damn this is good.

Gav’s Tavern Hi, I hope you like this. It is different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work.

A good thread on whether “queer” is a slur and if it should be used or not.