My Job In The Socialist State Is Being A Model For Those Gay Ass Propaganda Posters

Harbinger of war

Uh, honestly a super clear idea came to me outta nowhere, so I had to get it out of my system. Anyways, have Luger while I go back to my work 🙏

@callista-curations you can't post the screenshot and write 'this but with booty shorts' and just dangle that in front of me like the world's most tempting psppsssppppsss

I'd like you all to meet this girl. Her name was Emily Monterro. She was my best friend in high school.

Notice how I said "was"?

That's because she's dead. All thanks to cigarettes.

A (homosexual) student in our year got Emily hooked at a cigarette party. Then, one day, Emily decided to have a smoke before going to her job site, where she worked part-time as a forklift operator. Little did she know, her cigarette high would lead tk deadly results.

High off of the cigarette, Emily drove the forklift straight into a five-story building still under construction. The collapse killed five people--including Emily.

Still think smoking before going to work is safe? #SHARE IF YOU LEARNED THE TRUTH ABOUT CIGARETTES

Running list of theories in Dunwall Tower as to who “the mystery twink” is, as created by The Watch:

Someone from Pandyssia (and it turns out Pandyssians are just Like That)

Sister of the Oracular Order with the gift of prophecy that’s disguised as a man and that’s why “he’s” Like That

Sister of the Oracular Order with the gift of prophecy that transitioned into a man and that’s why he’s Like That

Some guy who got in here somehow and no one knows how to get him to leave

A prostitute that’s somehow secured a government position (seriously what does this guy even do other than annoy people and look pretty)

The actual Royal Spymaster (“Lord Corvo is the Spymaster.” “That’s just what they want you to think.”)

A dog taken human form

A curse placed upon Lord Corvo specifically

A curse placed upon Sokolov specifically (most likely by Piero)

A ghost

An actual noble from Tyvia like Lord Corvo said he was (unlikely)

Another of Lord Corvo’s bastard kids (not to insinuate that Empress Emily The Wise, First of Her Name, is in any way a bastard)

Wyman (has anyone seen them in the same room together, honestly)

Collective hallucination caused by the remnants of the plague

The Empress’ boytoy (this is just Wyman again)

Lord Corvo’s boytoy (“It’s not a theory if they’re actually sleeping together.” “Which just means my theory is correct.”)

Brigmore witch???? Maybe????

Masked Felon???? Maybe????

The Outsider (“Are you fucking stupid?”)

Okay what wise guy decided to advertise MAGA merch on the fujoshi website?

oh dear

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

Sisko at the Disco

gif i just got