412+413 (reminders For Myself)

imperfect consistency rather than an all or nothing mentality

Saw that post about transmascs and how ppl need to talk more about vaginal atrophy and how it's easily treatable with estrogen cream without affecting your HRT and it got me thinking about how none of us transfems seem to talk about dick atrophy either and how it's also easily treatable with topical testosterone cream provided you're not taking a T blocker (so on a GnRH agonist, estradiol monotherapy, or have had bottom surgery). Without T you don't get that passive tissue maintenance so unless you want to get hard every other day for the rest of your life to keep it healthy you're kinda screwed and erections can become really painful, let alone the change in length/shape. So yeah ask about topical testosterone.

Writing Tip

because I see this everywhere and most people don’t know about it. The hyphen(-), the en-dash(–) and the em-dash(—) are three completely different things with completely different uses. If you write fanfiction, it’s likely that your readers won’t care, but if you want to submit a manuscript for publishing, you need to know the difference. 

The hyphen (-) is the basic symbol you find on your keyboard, and it’s meant to only be used for hyphenated words (well-being, two-thirds). 

The en-dash (–) is a slightly longer dash. It’s usually the width of an uppercase N, hence the name. You can find it by looking through the ‘insert symbol’ option in MS word or many word processors, and it is meant to be used to show a particular distance, or for intervals (May–August, 1900–1916, pages 12–22)

The em-dash (—) is what people most commonly use, but they refer to it as a hyphen. It’s the longest dash, about the size of an uppercase letter M, and you can either find it through the list of symbols in your word processor, or some word processors actually automatically transform two hyphens (–) into an em-dash  (—). It is meant to be used as a break in the sentence, in a place where a comma, semicolon or colon would normally be used or as a break in dialogue. (Her niece—the daughter of her oldest sister—is the one over there.) 

*All three types of dashes are normally meant to be used without any spaces on either side of the dash. 

there should be a tax that youtubers pay where 1.5% of all of their revenue goes back to Kevin Macleod for basically supplying YouTube with it’s own soundtrack.

Unbelievably annoyed with the protesting advice I see from the most out of touch lefties on here. "You always need to show up in all black and you ALWAYS have to leave your phone at home." 1 there are different kind of protests and you need to know what it will look like/what groups are organizing it and 2 you are going to get people fucking killed

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

some of y'all need to learn how to accept hospitality. stop assuming people are only offering to look after you out of twisted obligation that they don't actually want to do. when you assume that, you are often denying someone the opportunity to genuinely show a friend or stranger love. even if you don't really care about what they're offering, it's respectful of their desire to be kind to accept it anyways.

i had a bunch of girls i've never met over for a women's group. every single one of them denied my offer to make them tea (despite already making myself a mug anyways), get them water, a scone, etc.

i can tell when people refuse to let me be a good host because they "don't want to be a bother". like no!! please be a bother!!! i want to serve you and make you comfortable in my home!

not to be like "we live in a society" but really do live in a modern culture than emphasizes individualism to the point where people will reflexively deny any help or kindness from others for fear of treading on their independence. newsflash: dependence on each other is what makes a community. next time someone offers you kindness, accept it instead of making excuses for why you don't need it. otherwise you've robbed both yourself of being loved and someone else from showing love.

I’m at a sociology conference and just attended a memorial for one of the giants of our field, and one of the panelists told this story…he was at a meeting with this guy, who he got his PhD under and had a long standing relationship with, and he was bemoaning the current state of the world, and he asked this old professor, “how can you be so optimistic? I can’t ever be anything but a pessimist.”

and the old professor said, “you little fucker, I’m going to make a statement and then I’m going to take you out to the parking lot and beat your ass. What good does your pessimism do?”

and that really struck me. not the least because I also knew this old professor and he very rarely swore, so I know this was something he was really worked up about. what good does your pessimism do? What GOOD does your pessimism DO. I’ll be thinking about that for awhile.

Since I'm therapist-posting recently:

Legitimately self-compassion is the biggest mental health life hack of all time. I'm NOT talking about self-esteem. You do NOT have to like yourself one bit. You don't have to believe that you're a good person who deserves good things. You just have to believe that you're a person who deserves the things all people deserve.

You can't get from "I'm the Worst" to "I'm a worthy and lovable person" without passing through "I'm just a regular fuckup like everybody else."

Try it on. If you're really addicted to being mean to yourself, you can start by framing it as I'm Not Special. Embrace being a regular fuckup like everybody else.

If you're the person in your friend group who initiates conversations 90-100% of the time, it can feel tempting sometimes to just stop contacting people to see if they will reach out, and therefore if they actually like you or if you are inflicting yourself on them. The problem with this is there are multiple flaws that can't be overcome in this type of test, including the fact that if you always reach out and suddenly don't, people will assume you're busy rather than that you want them to reach out, or just the fact that some people genuinely enjoy your company but hate or are terrible at remembering to reach out. So basically don't immediately assume that silence always equals disinterest or disdain; that's your own hangups talking, not the people you care about.