Hey, I’m Out To My Fam And They Still Misgender Me So I’d Rather Not Leave My Room Unless I Have

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I’M SO GLAD TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS

me @ AO3

thank you for writing this OP

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

This, just this is everything I want to have in anyone who calls themselves my dom!

Been reading ur blog. U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like. Its fine that u love ur girl, just dont call urself a dom. Real doms show dominance, use there sub and leave her laying like the cunt slut she is. Bein all sweet, and all that does is give her power over u, which makes u not a dom.

Hi there, Anon. I almost didn’t even dignify this with a response, but I think you’ve actually given me a good opportunity to say something that new doms need to know, so kudos to you. 

First and foremost, let’s establish something right here and now: You don’t get to tell me what I am, and you are damn sure not the leading authority on what does and does not constitute a dominant. For the record, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a dom. I never even thought of myself that way until I met belovedsangi 10 years ago. I always had the characteristics of a dom, sure, but I didn’t ever put that title on myself. That title was given to me by my submissive. SHE is the one who wanted to call me Master, and Sir, and sometimes Daddy. I never told her to do these things. But of course, you probably think I am making my point for you and that if I were a REAL domly dom, I would’ve demanded those things. 

And that’s where you have a fundamental issue understanding the meaning of the title. So let me help you with that. 

A dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect. 

A dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance. 

A dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to. 

A dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him. 

A dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important. 

A dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect. 

A dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she doesn’t get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he must be prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf. 

A dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, each and every day.  

A dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most can’t imagine, and a dom never loses sight of that. 

A dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day. 

A dom is consistent. He understands that he can’t just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be. 

So what does it mean, then, to be a dom? I get the feeling that you, anon, would say that it’s all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That’s not a dom. Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely have my way with belovedsangi. I love it when she kneels. I love the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex we have. I love to dominate her in the bedroom. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, gaming with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled. Those are all things that a dominant does too. 

I love my submissive more than I love oxygen. I love my submissive with a fire that can never be extinguished. I value her and respect her in every way. I treat her like a queen and fuck her like a slave. These things don’t make me weak. They don’t make me less of a dominant. These things make me stronger than you can possibly imagine. There is nothing quite so formidable as a dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely. 

Bottom line, Anon, is this: you sound like a boy playing at being a man. You decided one day that you were sick of women having willpower and a voice of their own, so you decided to call yourself a dominant and seek out some weak-willed submissive who wouldn’t talk back to you or stick up for herself. You are not a dom. You are a jackass with a whip. Classic case of toodomforyou.

Ok, gonna try it cause I want to get this job and it keeps falling through so here goes nothin

Update, No go

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

Signal boosting this because I’d want someone to try to help me if I was in this kind of situation

My dear black lgbt+ kids in the US, 

I can only imagine how terrified, angry and heartbroken you feel right now. 

I can only imagine how traumatizing it is to see those pictures and videos on social media again and again. 

We talk about “raising awareness” but I know that you’re already so painfully aware of racism, the brutal and the silent kinds.  

I know that I am just one person and I’m not even from the USA but I promise that I will stand with you and do anything I can to protect you. 

Please share any petitions or donation links with me, so I can share them with my followers! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

yes and you feel so sick and just want to scream at your parents to stop being such major dicks but you can’t because you know that they will take it out on you later!

you know when u have to misgender a friend in front of ur parents and you can like physically taste copper

Platonic Requests for Affection

“I’m so tired… ”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“My hands are shaking.” 

“Don’t get up. I’m comfortable like this.”

“Please stay. I’d like some company.”

“Could I get a hug?”

“Would you pet my hair?”

“Will you sing something for me?”

“I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Can I lay my head in your lap?”

“You can touch my hair but don’t mess it up!”

“Here, lay down in my lap.”

“You know, you’re pretty comfy.”

“Come here, ya big lug/small fry.”

“Just take my hand. It’ll be better, I promise.”

“I’m not letting go.”

“I’ll hold you as long as you need.”

“It’s okay to stay, you know.”

“I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

“Your hugs are warm. We should do this more often.”

PSA if you’re medicated or are new to medication: do not stop medicating cold turkey without supervision from your psychiatrist or without letting them know you’d like to quit. these things need to be done gradually, doing it abruptly can fuck you up really, REALLY bad, long term. please please please don’t be reckless about your mental health.

june is approaching and so are the insufferable exclusionists trying to make aros and aces seem inherently homophobic cringy people.

so, as an aspec lesbian who would like to enjoy pride for once in her damn life i have a request to non-exclusionists:

-when you see a post made by an ‘ace’ person that is so Obviously Bad and awful and Homophobic and all in all Problematic in Every Way, it’s very possible it wasn’t made by an asexual person but instead a piece of shit trying to demonize asexual people. if there’s a comment that says ‘this is why everyone hates asexuals’ ding! ding! aphobic asshole detected! please don’t reblog the post.

-if a post talks about how aces are better than allos and think we’re purer or whatever, that’s a troll. almost none of us think like this.

-if an ‘ace’ person refers to themselves as ‘acey’ or ‘asexy’ that’s probably a troll. while they were words we used to use exclusionists took them and user them to mock us and call us cringy. most of us don’t like using them because of this.

-if an ‘ace’ person calls allos ‘dirty allos'or ‘dirty sex havers’ that’s a troll baby! exclusionists refuse to understand the definition of asexuality, or that a lot of us enjoy sex.

-if you see a post made by an ‘ace’ or ‘aro'person that’s complaining about pda in pride, that’s a troll! if an aro or ace person feels uncomfortable we’ll just leave. we don’t go around yelling at people about pda. a lot of us like it in fact.

so in conclusion if you see a post made by an aro or ace person that’s too bad to be true, it probably is. please don’t put these people in my dash, it ruins pride month for me.