“I think women like to read about murderous mothers and lost little girls because it’s our only mainstream outlet to even begin discussing female violence on a personal level. Female violence is a specific brand of ferocity. It’s invasive. A girlfight is all teeth and hair, spit and nails — a much more fearsome thing to watch than two dudes clobbering each other. And the mental violence is positively gory. Women entwine. Some of the most disturbing, sick relationships I’ve witnessed are between long-time friends, and especially mothers and daughters. Innuendo, backspin, false encouragement, punishing withdrawal, sexual jealousy, garden-variety jealousy — watching women go to work on each other is a horrific bit of pageantry that can stretch on for years. Libraries are filled with stories on generations of brutal men, trapped in a cycle of aggression. I wanted to write about the violence of women. […] I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains…I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.”
— Gillian Flynn, “I Was Not a Nice Little Girl”
bein able to reblog posts of deleted tumblr accounts is absolutely the best feature here
its feels like dragging a corpse around through a bacchanal along with its legacy
I actually think eldest daughters should be allowed at least one instance in their entire lives to just completely lose their shit
Michael Cunningham, from “The Hours”
Francisco Goya and Gustave Doré Gothic Hatchings
And also when Edgar Allan Poe said— "Tell me every terrible thing you did, and let me love you anyway."
My favourite character: smokes, drinks, reads greek and other dead languages, keeps a latin diary, kills someone by punching their collarbone, weaves an intricate web of lies and plot to escape jail, kisses his unrequited love and then shoots himself.
Me: now I know what Wilde meant when he said 'You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.'
Ye imma make moodboards for all my classes
No one talks about the transition from being the girl everyone respected too much to come forward to and the girl that everyone desires. To feel like you are never someone's first choice, just a woman they would eventually settle for. To never be the girl they passionately, intensely ache for. To be the one they're afraid to taint. The one they will compromise with. To be the girl that becomes the mother of their child, but never their love.
And suddenly, suddenly you're the girl of their desires. The one with a free spirit and reckless behaviors and self-sabotaging actions. The one that hates herself so much, she throttles her own soul to fit an ideal image of what a man yearns for. To be savage and soft, simultaneously. To gaze at a man like a siren and never admit to being hurt.
No one talks about how you slowly feel both of these girls within you amalgamate. So achingly, so abruptly, you feel yourself spiralling out of control. You jump, face first, infront of a moving train, you wrench your heart inside of your chest. You swallow the thought of not being loved. There is a perpetual knock at the base of your mind of someone burning to come out, to be heard, to be felt, to be accepted.
You either become the trophy wife, or the girl they never wed. No one talks about girls like us.
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Beware of the barrenness of a busy lifestyle | I write sometimes | 18
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