More On Razorwingedbutterfly

My problem is that I want to be adored like a goddess by one person and be treated as a shadow by every single soul at the same time

  ― Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of My Brief Body

[text ID: To love someone is firstly to confess: I'm prepared to be devastated by you.]

love as religion

‘the death of antinoüs,’ mark doty // roberto ferri // diaries of anaïs nin // the borgias (2011-2013), dir. neil jordan // ‘holy things in this world,’ emery allen // the eternal idol (1893), auguste rodin // ‘take me to church,’ hozier // fleabag (2016-2019), phoebe waller-bridge // ‘litany in which certain things are crossed out,’ richard siken

I am a simple girl. The key to my heart is a bookshelf. Build me one, and then fuck me against it.

I was reading about Francis Crick and James Watson’s discovery of DNA in 1953…and admiring Santiago’s beautiful drawings of neurons…and Alan Hodgkin et Andrew Huxley’s mathematical discovery of calculating how action potentials propagates along a neuron…I couldn’t help but think how romantic it all is. To me it’s so interesting learning about the process of discovery. It’s incredible because all these people were just like us—students. It’s romantic because it’s human—a human experience—an insatiable thirst for knowledge, curiosity that knows no end. A perseverance to succeed. The ultimate quest to generate a novel idea before anyone else does. How can anyone say that science is not poetic? Science is poetry written in a different language, an esoteric one at that. But poetry nonetheless.

realistic dark academia stem aesthetics

after a walk, suddenly realizing what an concept ACTUALLY means

crying when you don't

feeling true joy after solving a difficult problem

remembering an specific equation just because of a interesting story about the scientist who created it

being legitimately impressed by Mendeleev (dude was great)

being pretentious about the amount of work you do

reading centuries old science magazine and writing what's changed on your journal

“Suffering – well, it is the sole determinant of consciousness. I did, though, set out at the beginning that consciousness, in my opinion, is man’s greatest misfortune, but I know that man loves it and wouldn’t trade it for any gratification.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

i hope everything reminds you of me. not as a blessing, as a curse.

Having a father is like you're the worst man I've ever met my fondest childhood memories include you you treated my mom horribly you are trying to be a good person you're evreything I fear in a man no man will ever protect me like you do why do you hate women but love me?

mfs say “i’m fine” then detach themselves from everyone in their lives for weeks. that’s me, i’m mfs