Currently Watching Shameless And I'd Probably Get "take Your Pills Bitch" On A Pill Bottle With Mickey's

OMG im so excited!!!! this is the best!!!!

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It’s been a little more than two weeks since Sam found him in the hallway and held him together, but Stiles can’t even imagine having to live without him.

this is from chapter twenty-one of proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear, which i'm working on this next week with the goal of updating it... eventually. have some Sam and Stiles floof!

send me a rose for a random sentence from a random wip

Hey guys!

So my family just bought property in Arizona, it's in the middle of nowhere, dozens of miles from people. And while I grew up in the forest and knew the typical customs (dont step in fairy rings, avert your gaze from the glowing eyes in the woods, thank the trees) I have no idea of desert customs when it comes to ghosts and fae and the supernatural. I've never really visited the desert, so any advice would be nice!

Draco: I'm 99% certain Professor Snape is having an affair with one of my parents. I just don't know which one

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “…You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

I am sorry, but what is Harlan doing making a podcast that is darker than malevolent. DARKER?? HOW IS IT DARKER? girl what are you doing, what fuels this. I don't want to know, I am a little curious... but that content warning list. Dear God wtf. I am not strong enough for this. Oh but it sounds good, and horrible and gross and what if, but like no.

I also think that it is funny tat he thanked his wife and posted what seems like a very heavy and disturbing. I don't know he is like I love my wife she is so wonderful and supports me! Look at this podcast I made, and it is really dark so look at the content warning about the show. (please don't take this as a criticism it isn't. I just think it is a bit funny because of the tone change)

I saw the handprint through my streaming tears (i was sobbing my eyes out like a baby) and i cried so much harder. That handprint was the turning point for so much in the show. It was a turning point for Sam and Dean's relationship. It was a turning point for the forces and lore of the world. It was a turning point with Castiel showing up. It was the beginning of their relationship.... And it being there when Cas was sacrificing himself? Even if it wasn't burned into Deans skin? It hurt worse than if my heart was ripped out of my body and burned in front of me.

Ok, I’ll admit it: the hand print got me.

Why do we love Snape, or the character who was unkindly written

Claire Jordan in one of her Quora essays said that she’s been in fandom for decades and has never seen a character so loved as Snape. I concur. Excluding some recent trends that purposefully misinterpret Snape by projecting onto him a set of stereotypes he was never supposed to embody, Snape remains one of the most loved characters in the Harry Potter universe. Every poll on Harry Potter’s favourite characters confirm that Snape is always on the top 3, sometimes reaching first place.

This is not some “bad boy syndrome”. There are two main reasons for readers to have latched onto Snape so furiously, for Snape to have been so ardently discussed and defended after HBP – and these feelings only intensified after the 7th book. The reasons, I would posit, are:

1.      Snape is a character that the narrative portrays as ambiguous.

2.      Despite this, the narrative is often, objectively, unfair to Snape especially in favour of other characters.

Let’s address the first point. Snape is ambiguous because he has to be. There are two big plot-twists in Harry Potter: Harry is a horcrux and Snape’s loyalties. These two end up closely connected because it is through the knowledge of Snape’s loyalties that Harry discovers he must die to kill the part of Voldemort that is inside him. Snape is therefore largely written as a suspect in a murder mystery. Several commentators have argued that the structure of a Harry Potter book resembles a crime novel, and I agree. Snape has to appear guilty, but the books have to give enough clues to the reader as to his true loyalties. Independently of authorial intent, this is what makes Snape so compelling. Because:

a.      Snape is cruel to his students but he constantly protects them (Harry, Draco, Katie Bell, Luna and Hermione, Neville and Ginny).

b.      Snape is described as ugly but his use of language is the most sophisticated of the series to the point it becomes sensual. Just consider his first speech in class about the beauty of potions and how they “ensnare the senses” and “bewitch the mind”.

c.      Snape is mean and petty but these characteristics are often accompanied by sarcasm and irony which make some of his most awful comments quite funny, such as him telling Crabbe not to suffocate Neville because he would have to mention it in a reference letter if ever Crabbe applied to a job. There is also a lot of incongruent humour in play with Snape. For example, him reading about Harry’s love life is hilarious because Snape and teenage drama are two irreconcilable dimensions.

d.      Snape is cruel and bullying but the narrative offers several reasons for this. While Dumbledore’s past is revealed mostly through conversation, Snape’s past is slowly revealed in images which makes it much more vivid. Snape getting a glimpse of a werewolf at the end of a tunnel. Snape’s father yelling at his cowering mother. Snape upside down and petrified by Sirius and James. Petunia calling him “an awful boy”. More than any other character, Snape is rooted in a social context that brings with it inescapable references: poverty, domestic abuse, neglect, bullying.

e.      Snape is often ridiculed (by Neville’s Boggart and by the map) but he is also given the title of “Prince”, a character with whom Harry sympathizes. He is also one of the characters who carries a sword, and whose love is presented as “the best part” of him. These are characteristics that ennoble Snape.

f.       Snape is dismissive of people’s feelings but he is also the character who is defending children because of their mothers. Lily because of his guilt, and Narcissa whom he allows to trap him in an unbreakable vow to protect her son.  

g.      Snape is taken as evil but the character whom the narrator uses as a morality mouthpiece – Hermione – often defends him.

h.      Snape kills a man but the narrative is quick to add that his soul would likely remain intact as it would be an act of mercy, arranged between the victim and the perpetrator as Harry reinforces. Harry goes as far saying that Snape “finished him” instead of using the verb kill or murder. Furthermore, we know remorse is something that mends the soul and Snape’s whole arc is about guilt and remorse – immortalized in the scene where Snape weeps at 13 Grimmauld Palace.

i.       Snape is apparently a murderer but the narrative goes to some lengths to show that just like Harry Snape has a thing for saving people. “Lately, only those I could not save” and him risking his cover to save Lupin.

j.       Snape’s trauma is often discredited but the narrative allows part of his tragedy to come at the expense of the hero’s father whom Harry spent years admiring. A relevant part of James’s goodness is sacrificed in favour of Snape’s own character construction.

k.      Snape’s trauma in relation to having been bullied is more often discredited by the narrative, although Fudge’s comment “the man is quite unbalanced” and the comparison established between James and Sirius’s use of Levicorpus and the Death Eaters using it on a muggle woman shows that it is something to be taken serious, although never acknowledged.

This last point leads me to my second assertion that the narrative is fundamentally unfair and cruel to Snape. For two main reasons:

a.      Snape’s trauma in relation to the Mauraders is discredited by everyone that counts, namely, Lily and Dumbledore. Only Harry comes closer to understand its dimensions. We can argue as to why this is, and as to whether there was authorial intent or it is simply that JKR didn’t realise how it would sound. Lily nearly smiles when Snape is being bullied which puts in question Lily’s character as well as her friendship with Snape. Both in Snape’s Worst Memory and in the conversation about the prank, she also fails to show concern that her friend was being bullied by the boy she liked.

b.      The second instance of unfairness is more serious because it is far more insidious. A careful reading of text will tell us that Snape was set up for death by Dumbledore. That Dumbledore planted the Elder Wand on Snape while thinking its power had died with him and while knowing that Voldemort would eventually reach conclusions about the Elder Wand and wish to possess it, thus killing its current owner. Not only Dumbledore never tells Snape, but he plans it beforehand. This is why he “admits” to Harry that the intention was to let Snape have the wand. Harry understands exactly what this means, and in the Final Battle tells Voldemort that Dumbledore intended the power of the wand to die with him.

This is so insidious – and cruel – that it is never openly acknowledged. Dumbledore betrays Snape, showing an impressive disregard for his life – far more than he showed for Harry’s because he knew Harry had a good chance of survival. But Snape is never given the satisfaction of having this acknowledged in the text. Snape yearned for Dumbledore’s affection but not only Dumbledore denied him that, he also denied him the truth of what he really wanted of him. Snape is betrayed by both his masters at the end. But we are never explicitly told this. This happens because the narrative is unwilling to portray Dumbledore in a truly badly light. His apparent sorrow (“poor Severus”) and his “admission” of guilt are not enough to show him remorseful because the narrative cannot bring itself to say: “I set Snape to die by planting the wand on him so Voldemort would come to possess a useless weapon”. This would change the readers’ view of Dumbledore, especially after Prince’s Tale. Remark on how cruel it is: Snape had to agree to kill Dumbledore in “good faith” so the power of the wand died with him, but all the while Dumbledore knows that Snape would get a target on his back and die from it. Dumbledore manipulates Snape into – possibly – ripping his soul and tricks Snape into his own demise. Snape thought Dumbledore was raising Harry as a pig for slaughter, but he is wrong. It is him whom Dumbledore is raising to die. The fact that this is never openly stated, and is purposefully obfuscated by the language, is somewhat cowardly. Dumbledore barely apologises, he barely recognizes it. If he did, the readers would be horrified. As with Lily, Snape is again sacrificed in favour of apparently “better” characters whom the narrative wants the readers to like more.

However, the flaw in the plan is that…readers aren’t stupid. I caught on to this when I was a teenager, and it has only intensified as I grew older.

Even at the end, Snape understands from the moment Voldemort mentions the wand that he is going to die. JKR said in a tweet that Snape could’ve saved himself, presumably by setting Voldemort straight, and so his silence ensured Harry’s victory. It is a possible interpretation. More possible still is that Snape accepted death after giving Harry his memories. The fact that he stops trying to staunch the bleeding once Harry appears shows it. His “look at me” is the request of a man who knows he’s going to die and just wants to do so by looking at the eyes of the woman he loves. In this sense, following Dumbledore’s words that “there are things far worse than death” and that for an organized mind death is “the next big adventure”, Snape showed far more courage than both Dumbledore and Voldemort who on several occasions tried to fight the inevitability of death.

It is true the narrative offers some vindication for Snape. Harry tells Tom Riddle of Snape’s true loyalties. Riddle is not allowed to die before knowing that Snape had betrayed him and colluded with Dumbledore, all because of a power Riddle doesn’t understand – love. Harry also names the son with his – and his mother’s – green eyes Severus. Finally, Harry tells him that Snape was probably the bravest man he knew.

But still, Snape is not kindly written. There is an underlying cruelty in how Snape is treated throughout the books. Because he is so profoundly unloved, because he is barely shown kindness and because no one ever takes responsibility for what happened to him, the readers feel compelled to do so. That, I think, explains why Snape is so widely loved, and why people are so ready to defend him in unprecedented ways.mak

"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit

The Brightest Start in the Constellation of Leo

There is none such story as tragic and sad as that of Regulus Black.

He was a small boy born into the house of hateful, supremacist, parents. His house was filled with cursed objects, scarily dark books, weapons, and in one case, vials of blood. His parents were most likely abusive or at least snide, cold, angry, hateful, and distant. I mean look at Walburga’s portrait.

(based off of the Malfoys, does anyone remember how Lucius would swing his cane at Draco? Mostly his hand, but still!!! That thing had sharp teeth!!! And Draco tended to avoid it with a little too much practice and ease...So who’s to say the Blacks weren’t similar or worse?)

He had a singular person in that house who really cared about him, and that was taken from him when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and they started a hateful feud.

He was then pressured into becoming the perfect pureblood heir because their first choice was a Gryffindor, a disgrace, and a blood traitor to boot. 

They swayed him to the Dark Arts and Voldemort, he was made a Death Eater. Being a Black means you are technically pureblooded royalty and in direct eye of Lord Voldemort himself. We’re not sure when he became a Death Eater but it can be hazarded a guess around 16/17. By 18 years old, barely a year put of Hogwarts he had probably tortured, killed and been robbed completely of his innocence (if he ever had any in that wretched house). 

At this point he is estranged from his brother, said brother is fighting on the other side and they’ve probably fought against each other, has one cousin who has been disowned because she loved a ‘mudblood’, another cousin who is married to a death eater, yet another cousin who is an insane maniac who gets off on torture, is being pressured by his parents who then die, entrenched in a war while being barely an adult himself, is most likely fighting and killing former classmates and teachers, and second guessing everything hes ever been told by his family.

So the Dark Lord asks for an elf.

He, as the Black heir, is expected to step up. So he does, no matter how much it pains him. Even though Kreacher is currently the only family he has that cares about him and vice versa, he gives him up. So in secret he orders him to come back as he does not want him to die. Kreacher goes and carries out the task of drinking the potion for the Dark Lord and returns home, obviously having been tortured and on the brink of death. Once Regulus has fixed him up he reports everything to him, who then figures out the locket is a Horcrux.

He knows it must be destroyed, he knows he will most likely die.

Can you imagine? 18 years old, not even a year after he’s graduated, and he willingly walks to his death. Can you imagine him sitting down and writing that letter for the locket with shaky hands and tears streaming down his face? He’s scared. Of course he’s scared! He’s a child! Just eighteen! He is eighteen years old and he marches out of that dark house with his loyal elf and gets Kreacher to take him. He appears on a rock out in a stormy, wild sea. Cold, salty spray rips into his skin and he dives into the chilling water. He shakily sails out to the little island and peers into the basin.

Its a glowing green potion that gives off a malevolent energy. He knows what it is. He saw what it did to Kreacher, he heard the description. He found it in the back of the Black Family Library: The Drink of despair. 

It was a torture potion. He knew this. He knew it was like being crucioed from the inside out, that it made you unbearably thirsty, that it made you see the most terrible things....

He didn’t want to die.

He didn’t want to die.

He didn’t want to die.

He knew Kreacher could survive it and get home safely where he could fix him up. He knew this. But he couldn’t bear to put poor Kreacher through that again. 

So he drank it himself and condemned himself to Death instead.

For a House Elf.

He died so his House Elf wouldn’t be in pain.

So 18 year old Regulus Black drinks a torture potion. Willingly. To protect his House Elf. In the middle of a lake filled with zombie Inferi. Miles from any living being. To steal an object belonging to the Darkest Wizard in history. 

He wasn’t even sure if it could be destroyed but he drank it. And got so thirsty he drank from the lake. The Inferi swarm him, clawing at his skin, pulling at his hair, ripping his clothes... He desperately orders Kreacher to switch the lockets, destroy the real one, and leave as he gets dragged under.

Regulus Arcturus Black dies at the age of eighteen, all alone, at the bottom of a lake of inferi, with no one but an old, bitter House Elf to remember what he had done. He didn't do it for the glory or the recognition of the masses, nor for the forgiveness of his brother. He tells no one and dies disgraced. Disgraced by his brother for being a Death eater. Disgraced by his Family for turning his back on the Dark. Disgraced by the Death eaters and Voldemort for ‘fleeing’ or ‘leaving the cause’ or whatever excuse they cooked up.

Regulus Black didn’t want to die. He could’ve saved himself and lived. But he didn’t to spare his friend the pain. He died so his House Elf didn’t have to hurt.

Brightest Star Indeed...