Crazy How The Sun Rises Every Morning. Every. Single. Morning. Never Takes One Damn Vacation Day. Bitch

So. Today in class we assigned Macbeth roles to students to read. When I asked the class who wants to be Lady Macbeth, a young man raised his hand. I kind of stared at him like “Lady Macbeth,” and he nodded like “I know what I’m about ma’am.” So then the student who ended up as Macbeth raised his hand and said “HE’S THE ONE, HE’S MY WIFE!” So I said “yeah sure why not,” and the entire class period they were blowing kisses to each other and winking at each other, and every now and then Macbeth would say “I’m the luckiest man on Earth” and Lady Macbeth would put a hand to his chest, and be like “BABE!”.

I just stared at them, knowing that they CLEARLY have never read ‘Macbeth’ before, so… all this lovey dovey… I don’t know if I have the heart to tell them the truth.

Batman: This undercover mission is highly critical, I expect everyone to come undercover as civilians.

Shazam, raising his hand: uh

Batman: You don’t have to raise your hand. We are all adults here.

Shazam: Cool cool- good to know. Anyways, my suit doesn’t come off.

Superman: what

Green Arrow: How the fuck does that work.

Shazam: It’s kinda just glued on?

I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction! 

I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD

yoooo in Harry Potter imagine how many muggleborns would get fucking rickrolled by their friends using howlers

Steve actually loves science fiction but it’s infinitely funnier to piss Dustin off by repeatedly mispronouncing the names is the characters in Star Wars because, “It’s Skywalker, Steve. Not Stair-Master! And his name is Luke, not Lucas! No one is named Lucas.”

“I think at least one person is.”

“In the movie.”

Dustin has recently discovered Doctor Who and is kinda a dick about explaining it to Steve. He heavily implies that Steve isn’t smart enough for the show like Steve’s mom doesn’t have a friend in England that tapes the new episodes and mails it to them.

Steve could share that information with Dustin but he’s not going to. Instead, when Dustin brings up The Doctor, Steve says, “Woah, Doc Hagan got a tv show?”

“It’s not a show about your dentist, Steve!”

If Steve is trying to round up all the kids and they’re being particularly annoying, he’ll clap his hands together and says, “C’mon, Ghost-bangers.”

The first thing he did after facing the demo-dogs was to memorize the entire D&D monster guide. He could tell Dustin this but D&D seems insufferable to him and it’s going to be way more satisfying when he catches the kid bullshitting an explanation and can call him out.

Robin knows about the stack of HG Wells books shelved in the den and Eddie definitely knows something is up. But Dustin? Nope.

There’s literally a picture on the mantle in the living room of him and his mom dressed as Spock and Nurse Chappell at a Star Trek convention when he was eight. Dustin walks passed it twice a week and has never noticed.

Y’all can’t ship Bowuigi without first understanding what it will do to Kamek to have to sit across from the dude he kidnapped as a baby 3 times like 35 years ago at the dinner table

hypothetically if I read crack fanfic during a church service will I get smitted by God. completely hypothetical 

yknow the 2010s Stiles Teenwolf fangirlies had me thinking adhd was all untameable hyperfixation rambles, doing well in hs but terrible in ur personal life, & RSD-induced social overinvestment

which is not always true!

...

...mine does do that. yes. ..

but! /i/ wasn't a skinny nerdhot white boy everyone diagnosed with bisexuality!! so no one made the connection until it was after lockdown and i could legally drink!!!

You know how kids will just walk up to you then say random shit or observations about you that they’ve made and walk away?

Captain Marvel does that to JL members.

But it’s laced with the wisdom of Solomon so while sometimes it’s normal, childlike observations or facts. Other times it’s shit no living human should or could ever know & before Billy reveals his identity, it actually works in his favor as JL members just chalk it up to the fact that the champion of magic is thought to be thousands of years old and not, like, 8.

But it’s stuff that ranges from childlike (these are real quotes):

- “Oh, I never noticed the color of your eyes, they’re pretty.” (Fairly normal)

- “You have weird bones, have you thought about getting them fixed?” (Slightly more worrying. cracked my back and the kid was very concerned.)

- “Don’t shoot the messenger tomorrow, it’ll shoot you back” (much more alarming. this was said to me with no context at all & the kid just walked away to go back and play with her friends. I don’t know if it’s a quote from a show or smth but that was the entire interaction she wanted to have)

Then there’s the random comments out loud laced with the wisdom of Solomon:

- “I miss the call of the Corythosaurus. It echoed through the mountains beautifully and will never be heard again” “Corythosaurus. Captain, isn’t that a dinosaur? Wait a moment how fucking old are you???”

- “Watch out for the earth trying to swallow you whole. make sure to tread lightly” (there’s gopher holes everywhere outside the zeta tube entrance but wisdom of Solomon won’t let Billy word it out as anything but as unhelpful as it can)

DP X DC Prompt #45

Gotham has a new rouge. Except he only steals food and medical supplies in great quantities.

(Jack takes Danny and runs to Gotham after a Reveal gone Wrong where Maddie tries to kill Danny)