Really Is So Strange And Ew How White Feminists Think That Any Kind Of Sexual Attraction Or Erotic Expression

I love when people make posts and head cannons about Billy being just a little weirdo and none of the leaguers know what to make of him. 

Like he just casually mentions that a wizard gave him god powers, like that’s a normal thing, can wizards even do that???? 

he can speak any dead language you can think of but his handwriting is atrocious in all languages and he types with his pointer fingers.

he can hold his own against superman but only has like three villains he fights on the regular?? those being a caterpillar, an old man and a guy with his costume and powers but in black??

he just looks weirdly like an archeologist that died mysteriously like eight years ago, they’re not the same person (probably) but its still weird right??? 

he has a tiger??? named tawky tawny??? not sure if its a magic tiger or just a tiger but he’s there sometimes??? 

one of his villains is a caterpillar with glasses and a voice box? he says its really an alien from Venus that can control peoples minds but its also still the size of a caterpillar?? Its one of his greatest adversaries apparently. 

he always bumps into things a lot, almost like he’s not totally aware of his size.

he claims his powers come from gods but knows almost nothing about them. 

he sometimes brings up the rock of eternity like its a normal thing???? the magic users say its an ancient epicentre of magic but he says its just a dingy old cave in a subway??

Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

He’s just a little guy in a big body

12 milligrams of crack treated seriously to be taken with every meal and once before bedtime and an extra prescription of found family to be taken when necessary, it’s good for the soul. Now off you pop, you’ll be right as rain in no time.

And their arms can still move around after they’ve been cut off! :D

List of Sea Creatures Which Have Tried But Failed To Convince Me To Go Into The Ocean

1. Sea Dragons

Remarkable, unlikely, ethereal. A fairytale creature, but ultimately not trustworthy. a combination of kelpie and the fae, it will ask me a riddle and steal my soul. at least one of these is photoshopped. nice try sea dragon

2. Bubble Snails

these are portals to another realm. i may be unsatisfied with my dimension, but i am not fool enough to follow a colorful stranger to a secondary location. you’ll have to try harder, briny marine abductors 

3. Shells. Just shiny carved shells i found on instagram

makes a compelling argument but i remain unconvinced. never trust anything you find on instagram 

4. Salp Chains

not gonna lie, this one almost made me reconsider. idk what a planktic tunicate is, but i respect their lifestyle choices. if i ever do join a hivemind, this is top of the list

5. Frosted Nudibranch

a combination bt a sailor moon trinket & a pokemon evolution stone; has the power to force me into a magical girl transformation. unfortunately i am responsibility-avoidant and refuse to wear anything less comfortable than sweatpants. also magical transformations give me motion sickness. hard pass, but would use as a nightlight 

6. Lettuce Sea Slug. For similar reasons

6. Royal Starfish

honestly thought this was a claymation sculpture. starfish were actually a compelling reason to go in the ocean until i remembered they can move, and i want nothing to do with that nonsense 

7. Costasiella

this is genuinely the only one i have a hard time saying no to. this is the perfect being. if i was an animated protagonist, this would be my chosen cartoon sidekick, my vaguely animalish sidecharacter who speaks in a silent but expressive language only i can translate. incandescent perfection. pure and unsullied, truly sinless. look at those goddamn eyes. 

In conclusion, 

sea slugs are the only compelling group of creatures who could possibly tempt me into the soulless void of the salty depths. however, as i possess a great deal of caution & terror, i will continue to stick with aquariums. i have been tempted, but have overcome. the ocean may invade my nightmares but it will not claim my soul. i bite my thumb at thee, Poseidon! go stub your toe on coral

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

hypothetically if I read crack fanfic during a church service will I get smitted by God. completely hypothetical 

Tumblr Holidays:

• March 14th: Pi Day

• March 15th: Ides of March

• April 1st: April Fools Day and Mishapocalypse Memorial Day

• April 13th: Homestuck Day

• April 20th: Weed Day

• September 8th: Queen Elizabeth Killed By Sans Undertale Day

• November 5th: Destiel Canon Day

naked and afraid

inspired by this: