I Am So Sorry

me: *hasn't washed hair in a few days*

me, looking in the mirror: the loki cosplay is coming together nicely

fake dating to lovers is nice but married for non-romantic reasons to lovers is next fucking level

Hi! Can you do something for me?

Relax your shoulders. Let them fall down. Now tense them up for a moment really hard. And relax again. Use your hand to massage them gently

Relax your jaw. Open your mouth, stick out your toungue. Let your mouth hang open for a bit. Now puff your cheeks. Relax your jaw again

Relax your neck. Move your head side to side slightly. Stretch your neck muscles a little

Relax your arms. Let them fall by your sides. Wiggle them! Now stretch them a little

Take a deep breath. Hold it for a moment. Breathe out

Straighten your back. Tense it up for a little. Relax

OKAY THANK YOU AND BYEEE

“Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

— The Love Hypothesis

"violence won't solve anything" why must violence "solve" anything? is it not enough to be sexy? and maybe even choreographed to music that slaps?

when men read a book in public places it’s like ok come kiss me whore

Well yes .

*says ‘I’m so fucking sick of this pandemic shit’ in a distinctly vaccinated, pro mask, pro lockdown, pro taking all the necessary safety measures way*

I've just realised that Tom Felton is basically the biggest Harry Potter fan ever, it's like.. Every Harry Potter actor: I don't want to be known as the one from Harry Potter, I want to be more... Tom Felton: *at audition* Bitch I am THE Draco Malloy if u do not cast me for this role my father WILL hear about it!