Hello! Here is the B&N (Barnes & Noble) exclusive story/bonus chapter from A Heart So Fierce And Broken! Hope y’all enjoy! Feel free to share your thoughts and theories! part 2
Maybe you are the punishment
for all the hearts I have broken
Maybe you are just a realization
of the love that I don’t deserve
Maybe you are just an empty sadness
that will be the end of my story
Maybe you yourself are a story
that starts from where I end.
mirror
Happy: “Kid–,”
Peter, looking absolutely betrayed: “Were you ever going to tell me?”
Happy: “I didn’t mean to lie to you, I swear. I thought you knew.”
Peter, dramatic as hell: “Five years.”
Happy: “Peter–,”
Peter: “I spent five years believing that your god-given name was Happy Hogan.”
Happy: “—I’ll buy you ice cream or something, anything, just please don’t cry—,”
Peter, already tearing up: “I don’t even know who you are anymore, Harold.”
okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.
but i hate kids.
or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.
when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties.
my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.
and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?
and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.
i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them.
but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.”
i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom.
it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.”
i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.
Sera: Are you still mad at me?
Nyktos: Yes.
Sera: Are you going to let go of my hand?
Nyktos: No.
Your daily dose of cat memes
fun fact if you refer to children as "things" and use "it" when referring to children and are happy to see children cry and get hurt im stealing something from your house
MASTER POST OF THE TARGET EMPIRE OF STORMS SHORT STORY
again. enjoy the story.
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If you were only allowed to eat salad for the rest of your life... (for arbitrary reasons) what five things would you try to convince people is salad! Go!
In no particular order:
1. Potato salad should count. It’s got salad in the name.
2. Salsa is a tomato based fruit salad, and tortilla chips are but an especially flat crouton.
3. If salsa counts, then so should chunky guacamole.
4. Smoothies are effectively deconstructed fruit salad.
5. Chicken salad, for the same reason as potato salad.
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