I've Been Struggling With What Feels Like, To Me, A Severe Chronic Art Block For Most Of My Adult Life.

I've been struggling with what feels like, to me, a severe chronic art block for most of my adult life. I can and will go MONTHS without drawing, sometimes farting out occasional barebones idea doodles, but sometimes drawing absolutely nada. When I was younger up until my late teens I had this burning drive to create ALL DAY ERRYDAY with ridiculously large body of work strewn behind me (so much that I have lost more than I've ever had and its still a ton), peaking very early in terms of skill level through the sheer brute force of practice and study... but burning motivations led to burnout. I don't actually blame being TOO driven to create (no such thing dammit!) leading to the burnout, BUT I think some forms of motivation are more sustainable than others. I was driven by ambition, belligerence, more than a little fear. Not so healthy.

I've learned that it's not simple laziness because the "draw anyway" strategy of overcoming art block has NEVER worked for me. The more I push through a block with sheer willpower the more miserable I become, and the only reason I create at all is because it's a source of joy! I have arranged my life in ways to protect this, and is a major reason I have steered away from turning art into a career. There are a lot of IRL factors that I don't really want to elaborate on here (depression is a major one, however), but art doesn't happen in a vacuum, and an artist's life has to have SOME stability in order to have the surplus time and energy to actually draw/paint/compose/write/craft. My own psychic resources have simply been too scarce, I haven't been able to afford to spend those resources on creative projects. Its a Hierarchy of Needs thing. Once Food/Shelter/Safety has been taken care of, I'm spent. There is no surplus.

Annoyingly, fangirling sometimes injects some extra energy and if I then also have the time I just start scrawling fan art uncontrollably (if the fangirling is intense enough you can bet I will MAKE the time! There is NO stopping The Feels). But it's a sugar high and as soon as it's over the art stops too, independently of my desire to actually FINISH anything either (this is the worst part for me, guilt and frustration are the sugar coma, tho the pattern did help me identify the various sources of creative energy).

I dunno how to sum this up. To make art you gotta have an idea. Then the energy to translate the idea out of your soul, and the time/materials to make the actual piece. The spark, the fuel, and the engine. My flavor of art block is akin to running on fumes. Most discussions of art block seem to revolve around the missing spark/faulty ignition. I don't know if this comes off as self-pitying I SURE HOPE NOT but! I do believe I know what steps I need to take in my life to do something about this, so. I'm working on it. Talking about this stuff makes me very uncomfortable but I think it's important. Plus this is an art blog and well, I guess I feel a need to explain myself when I don't post any art??

In the meantime I work hard to not be too mad at myself for lack of productivity (especially when I used to be disgustingly prolific) cos that's an energy-spending exercise not a refueling one.

Artists!! How do you deal with art block, or periods of depression? (Do you deal at all?) Researching my dissertation, scary stuff.

More Posts from Quantumqstar and Others

13 years ago

ww!

alexds1 said: "What area of worldbuilding do you find to be the most challenging in terms of getting it believable enough to your satisfaction?

Oh geez. Actual storytelling I guess. Plot? Does that count? I do ok with character motivation cos I find that fun as all get out. But when it comes to creating Interesting Times and Mysteries™ and Shocking! Plot! Twists! I get a bit frustrated. All that writer advice to write the story you want to read? Well I'm PICKY. I'm very insecure about my writing even tho 99.9% of my drawing motivation comes from it. The majority of my ideas come to me as scenes with characters interacting, and then I struggle to piece that shit together into something coherent with a minimum of plot holes and not-boring. So hard.

Hmm ok something more specific to worldbuilding is when I'm trying to do something with alternate history and I do TONS of research but can't tell at all if I've done enough. Or what details might be higher priority or more relevant? I guess I can manage to avoid some rookie mistakes, but I personally loathe Did Not Do The Research and really really, really don't want to fall into that trap myself. Then there is the tricky issue of cultural appropriation when you're working on something that's not based on your own cultural experiences. So hard.


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13 years ago

tv imitates life imitates art imitates life imitates tv imitates well ok we might argue about it being art but I for one am OMFG LOVE THIS LOL

Plus I thought of Cybruce Willis from Power Nap XD

13 years ago

ww!

alexds1 answered your question: What kind of things inspire you to worldbuild?

Honestly? I just feel like it is the default form of my imagination. My mind just automatically goes to possible alternate realities and worlds and timelines what-if cause/effect stuff. It happens a lot when I think about my own life too which is a problem :| I have trouble existing in the present...


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13 years ago

I swear I didn't know this existed until I decided to googlehunt tablet pcs with wacom digitizers, and it's as glorious as it sounds. It's not without drawbacks (windows7 has very decent tablet pc tools, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to get pressure sensitivity AND multitouch working at the same time) but I'm just so happy to have a computer again asshdjkashdjahsd I CAN COLOR AGAIN

6 years ago

I adore her work and she deserves not only better, but the best things. She's already great and has been for ages, and the rest of us need to catch up.

hey guys you should support elicia donze

here is her kofi, her artstation, and her website. she also has an instagram & facebook, both of which with descriptive captioning.

who is elicia donze? just one of the most amazing and inspirational pop artists in this current time.

Hey Guys You Should Support Elicia Donze

a prevalent yet underappreciated and absolutely slandered fan artist for the spn fandom, she’s a master at not just realism but adding a touch of whimsical beauty and etherealness in everything she does.

Hey Guys You Should Support Elicia Donze
Hey Guys You Should Support Elicia Donze

her job opportunities are and have been sabotaged by spn fans for years. how many years? over 10 years. i wasn’t a part of her followerbase until a few months ago, but just so you know she goes through so much fucking bullshit every day. just the usual death threats and lost job opportunities and panic attacks and so on that she’s had to manage for longer than i’ve been in school!

Hey Guys You Should Support Elicia Donze

she struggles to make ends meet for herself and her two cats, and she’s got pills (? i don’t know for sure, she is mentally disabled though) and bills to pay for. wanna help? here is her kofi, her artstation, and her website. she also has an instagram & facebook, both of which with descriptive captioning.

Hey Guys You Should Support Elicia Donze

can’t give her money right now? then follow @eliciaforever and reblog her artwork, reblog the bullshit she has to put up with, listen to what she says. like, actually listen. tell people about elicia. tell people about her art. elicia knows she’s good. she’s a fucking legend. but people don’t seem to like women artists who know their worth, so might as well flaunt it as much as possible.

and also, if you know people who can spare some change, here is her kofi, her artstation, and her website. she also has an instagram & facebook, both of which with descriptive captioning. a third time. just so you all know ;)

7 years ago
Messin With Some Rainbow Hair And Rainbow Tinsel. Four Different Sets Of Ombre Brading Hair Found From

Messin with some rainbow hair and rainbow tinsel. Four different sets of ombre brading hair found from trolling ebay which is my ultimate pastime :p these are actually experiments v2 and v3 Imma keep going until I find a blend I am happy with

8 years ago

Do you still draw elves? I miss Errikan...

I miss him too, friend :( tbh I'm really struggling lately, creatively and otherwise, I don't have passion for anything anymore, just trying to exist until things get better

9 years ago

LED STOCKINGS made with materials from Adafruit and firewalkers circuit and code :D I intended to record better video, make gifs, whatever, but that takes away time from making more blinky stuff! So that's been unacceptable ;p I HAVE been documenting all my cosplay and crafty blinkybeepy things so that I have the OPTION to make writeups buuuut I have a functionally infinite project list while I slowly work on the skills to make the light and sound and animatronic costumes of my dreams 83


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quantumqstar - quantumQstar
quantumQstar

questionstar.org & questionstar@deviantart. I like to make art, friends, costumes, trouble, and history this is an art/creativity/rambling blog where I complain about art more often than I actually post it!

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