@alexanderdamnhethin Its Drunk Face By Machine Gun Kelly, 10/10 Would Recommend

your precious heart, can't watch it break, so i close my eyes while you walk away

CALM aesthetic [11/12]: Lonely Heart - 5 Seconds Of Summer

This is so important

MCU Ladies + messy hair

i AiNt GoT nO sLeEp CuZ oF yALL, yALL nEvEr gOnNa sLeEp CuZ oF mE

Me: I need a nap

Brain: *runs around screaming while banging pots and pans*

Me: 😩

we fuck and we fight and you call me a psycho

CALM aesthetic [8/12]: Not In The Same Way - 5 Seconds Of Summer

Weird stuff my sleep deprived friends say as incorrect quotes 15/?

Jake: ok Rosa now you go. Hitchcock, Scully and Boyle's dad.

Rosa: oof... Okay fuck Boyle's dad, marry Scully and kill Hitchcock

Gina: damn that's nasty girl! okay mmm Amy: Obama, Trump and Putin.

Amy: hmmm that's so hard!

Jake: title of your sex tape!

Holt: *enters the room* what are you doing? What is this game?

Amy: fuck marry kill.

Amy: *realising what she just said and to whom*

Holt: why would you say the word fuck? There are much better words for it. Have sex, make love, bone, shag...

Jake: ok captain, who would you SHAG marry or kill: Obama, Trump and Putin?

Holt: well, I would kill Trump, marry Obama, and that leaves me with... Shagging Putin.

Everyone: *laughing their asses off*

please reblog this with what country you're from and how common are middle names there??

This was ghostwritten by Jim Halpert

Saying “f**k” whilst having sex is the same as shouting “parkour!” When doing parkour

בוכההה

הגרסה הישראלית

להנאתכם

Dude, seriously, we talked about you url

A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop…

Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.”

Clerk: “Sorry kid, we’re out of chocolate.”

Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “No, no, you don’t understand, it’s chocolate we’re out of,”

Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gimme a scoop of raspberry, and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “Listen kid, can you spell the VAN in vanilla?”

Kid: “Sure! V-A-N.”

Clerk: “Can you spell the STRAW in strawberry?”

Kid: “Sure! S-T-R-A-W!

Clerk: “Can you spell the FUCK in chocolate?”

Kid: “There is no FUCK in chocolate!”

Clerk: “THAT’S what I’m trying to tell you.”