Lol I Went To Delete A Twitter Account For Reasons (i Ran A Satire Account Of My University’s President)

You have gone too far. You have married Fester. You have destroyed his spirit. You have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie… pastels?

crawling back to this tumblr account after the tiktok ban feels like driving back to my old home in the countryside,, gently wiping away the cobwebs and the dust that's settled in my absence,, nothing changed, nothing out of place,, a memory of a forgotten era; frozen in time,,

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

time is fake

The fact that this is 80 fucking years ago but still just as relevant is terrifying.

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

Low Budget Meal Ideas

So most of your paycheck is consumed with various bills & rent and you feel like you can’t afford to eat, or your a student and not only is your money limited but also your time, or maybe you’re just saving up to buy something special. Here’s a few ideas that may help you & your stomach through with more than just a loaf of bread.

Key Staple Ingredients

Powdered milk - 1kg makes about 7L, which means that you’re spending about 80c for a litre of milk. If used wisely this will last you weeks. I wouldn’t recommend it for having just a glass of milk or with your coffee, but it’s perfect if you’re making scrambled eggs or rice pudding… if you’re cooking with it basically. This milk is a make-as-you-need-it milk.

Alternatively if you don’t like powdered milk or you have to have some coffee or cereal, look into UHT Long-Life milk. They can last months without refrigeration before opening.

Rice - It’s filling, it’s cheap, and it’s incredibly versatile. Most grocers you can buy it at ~$1.50/kg

Flour - It may be time consuming, but it’s so much cheaper, and more rewarding, to make your own bread. Again it’s about $1/kg, sometimes less, and it’s generally worth it. You can store it up to a year and there’s so much you can do with it.

Eggs - Meat can be expensive, but to go without protein is a dangerous thing. They’re not too expensive, but probably the most expensive item on the list, generally around $4 for a dozen. You can eat them as is (after cooking of course) or use them in baking. They generally only last about a week before you have to start getting rid of them.

Sugar - Now this one isn’t an urgent ingredient that you need lots of, but it does help add a bit of that serotonin to your life, be it when you make a sweet loaf, add a bit to your tea, who knows. It’s generally handy to have some on hand.

Optional Extras

Bananas - If you’ve got room in the budget for more, try and get some Bananas. I know my local green grocer sells bananas which are almost overripe and pretty much only good for baking for 50c/kg when he’s got excess. I snatch ‘em up like hotcakes and make smoothies, banana bread, ice cream…. there’s so much you can do with Bananas.

Carrots - Carrots are amazing and oh-so-cheap. 80c-$1/kg, and you can chop them up to snack on, roast them, boil & mash them, grate them, carrot cake…

Oranges - I cannot express how good Oranges are for you, and they keep quite a while as well. Now making your own orange juice will chew through your supply, I wouldn’t recommend it, but slice up half an orange and take it with you to classes or work.

Onions - Not as versatile as some of the other foods I’ve mentioned but if you’ve got an extra dollar, they can help add some flavour. Fry up an onion in some oil and add it to your eggs perhaps, use it in a rice dish… It generally just helps add flavour.

Potatoes - Potatoes are something you can buy in massive bulk, which like carrots you can use in so many ways. Their shelf life is incredible but for the love of god do not store them with your onions. They go off so much faster, which you can tell when they start sprouting!

Garlic - Long shelf life and though your friends may not appreciate your breath, you can’t pass up some good old garlic bread. I’m sure there’s more you can do with it but that’s all I can think of at the moment…. mmm garlic bread.

Honey - With an infinite shelf life, it’s perfect to drizzle over almost anything for a sweet treat.

Other thoughts, if you have the space in your home for vertical/wall herb garden, something small, that’ll generally put you back at most $50 total for the pots, soil, plants, and hooks (be it for a wall or railing), but to invest in some hard-to-kill herbs like rosemary, oregano, and mint, can add something special to your dishes.

For what to do with these ingredients that I’ve listed, follow @cook-n-tell for more recipes, tips & tricks.

Also a massive thank you to my friend Baccano for helping me bounce ideas and come up with others for this post.

The Blues Brothers (1980)

thinking about Sid Wright and how he was presented as this constant reminder of how fucked up the world of the silt verses was and I was fully prepared to just watch him die and be replaced as a testament to that just being how the world works and instead he was seamlessly incorporated as a major plot point and changed the world forever. It was such an unexpected reveal but it was done in a way that made perfect sense.

I walked into a lab one time, feeling like I was on deaths door, and the TA took one look at me said “As long as that’s not a hangover, I’ll cover for you.”

I said “Believe me I WISH this was a hangover” he marked me present and I immediately went home and slept for 2 days.

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.