The Bachelor - Episode 8 Recap

your bachelor recaps make my life. muchas graciassss!!!!

De nada mi amor!!! The fact that people read and enjoy them makes MY life, so we're even. We're just all in this big beautiful psychologically damaging journey to find love together.

Save BFF: A Treatise

     In a year of television with more complete bombs than any in recent memory, only a few new comedies were truly successful at bringing fresh perspective and actual, deep belly laughs. NBC's "Up All Night" really worked for me and I'm glad to hear it's coming back for a second full season, and, while it's not my personal cup of tea, Fox's "New Girl" has really taken hold. This is great for single-camera comedies as we move farther away from the traditional multi-cam sit-coms, despite "Whitney" somehow scrabbling its way to a renewal.

And we also saw a lot of really offensively unfunny shows go the way of the dodo: ABC's "Work It", NBC's "Are You There, Chelsea?", to name two. But one new show has met an untimely end, an unjust cut-off to what was a really strong start.

That show is NBCs "Best Friends Forever" created by, written by, and starring Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair. After the first four episodes aired they were put on indefinite hiatus, and were dealt the final cancellation blow in May.Thanks to some serious internet presence and insistence, Parham and St. Clair were gifted the airing of the final two episodes Friday, June 1st.

              I started watching this show the fourth week in and consumed all four episodes one right after the other because I fell in love instantly. The relationships are lively and realistic; everyone loves each other but fights happen, characters get mad, characters screw up, and then they make it up to each other like only a best friend forever knows how. This is all handled with emotional honesty and integrity; which is why when a line like "Jess, if you show me on my face, these nerds' penises will go insane" happens, you snort pop up your nose laughing.

So here's what I propose: Click here to watch the pilot episode of "Best Friends Forever" on Hulu. It is 23 minutes long, so if you hate it, you've only spent 23 minutes. And if you hate it, then you can tell me that you don't relate at all to those two women, you don't find Joe to be a loveable guy's guy, that you don't want to see what happens with Rav, and that Quenetta is horrible. You can walk away and tell me to shut it.

But if you love it, which I think you will, you will then be able to watch the remaining five episodes at breakneck speed in a joyous television binge. And if you love it like I love it, then maybe you'll click here and sign this online petition to SAVE BFF! And maybe you'll share it with your Twitter and Facebook friends, and they'll do the same. And maybe, just maybe, in a time not too far from right now, a great cable company like TBS or TNT or USA even will pick up this incredible show and give it the fair shot it truly deserves.

            I mean, look at that crew! Don't you want to watch them and laugh and cry a little and laugh some more and then buy a cart-load of scoops and cinnamon rolls?!?!?!

SAVE BFF!

The Bachelor - Episode 7 Recap

"I wish I was a little dumber."

Party in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach 'til the break of dawn – WELCOME TO MIAMI ¡BIENVENIDOS A MIAMI! In those, the immortal words of the bard Will Smith, I welcome you to this week’s Bachelor recap. Let’s turn on the heat.

Juan Pablo is jumping out of his skin excited to see Camila for the first time in weeks. His little “chiquiturri” runs into his arms and clings on like a koala bear. She is very cute. They swim a little and hang with the fam. Cousin Rodolfo has hilarious adult braces.

 But now it’s time for the girls to arrive. They are really excited to be in Juan Pablo’s home town because next week is their hometown date. The pressure is on. Everyone is feeling it, but the swanky suite with free bikinis is probably easing the pain. JuanPa arrives to hand deliver the date card to Sharleen. She is very uncomfortable but excited for the “Come Sea my City” date.

Sharleen is doubting things right out of the gate. She expresses that she does feel a connection with him on certain levels, but that they are sorely lacking the “cerebral connection that [she] so need[s]”. Which is a really diplomatic way of saying that Sharleen is REALLY SMART and Juan Pablo is a little stupid.

Before the date starts, the girls sit around on their veranda and talk about how strange it is that Sharleen and he have a relationship at all. They share that she normally goes for really intellectual almost nerdy guys, and I’m like yes. Yes Sharleen. This is why we’re friends.

But the date is a low key but luxurious day on a yacht. I would be ok with that date. They snuggle and make out a lot. Sharleen feels attracted to him and that the sexual chemistry is there, but her big old brain won’t shut up that this guy, in the long run, doesn’t get her. As the date moves onto a private island beach, she tells him about her job as an opera singer and how that would play into them potentially having a relationship. She’s again, super diplomatic, and doesn’t give a definite answer. Basically Sharleen is open to change. Which means she doesn’t want to get his hopes up if she might be going home early because Juan Pablo no es muy intelligente.

Juan Pablo is so into her though! He really wants to meet her parents! He was even telling cousin Rodolfo earlier that she might be the one! But he’s not good enough for her! They kiss SO gross! They are the worst kissers ever! She is honest with him about not feeling 100% sure about him meeting her family and he tells her that she makes him feel smarter and that he admires her honesty.

And I’m on board until she says, “I wish I was a little dumber…that’d be so much nicer.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. IN THE WORDS OF THE GREAT JOHN GREEN “THE VENN DIAGRAM OF BOYS WHO DON’T LIKE SMART GIRLS AND BOYS YOU DON’T WANT TO DATE IS A CIRCLE.” OH GOD. I’M CLUTCHING MY BRAIN. NO SHARLEEN. NO. NEVER DUMB YOURSELF DOWN FOR ANY MAN. BEING SMART IS NOT A HANDICAP IN FINDING LOVE.

Which is why she says, “The little voice in my head is telling me that it’s not right.” Follow that voice Sharleen. When she gets home to the hotel, she runs immediately to talk to Renee because of course. Renee is a therapist. Even after sage counsel from Renee, Sharleen is still completely torn over what to do.

Nikki gets the next one-on-one date much to Chelsie’s chagrin. Chelsie feels like Nikki is always so negative about things, case in point, when the date card indicates dancing Nikki immediately groans and says “I thought I paid my dancing dues in Korea!” On the one hand, yeah that’s negative; on the other hand, if you don’t like dancing, you don’t have to be sunshine and rainbows about having to go dancing.

They meet up at a flower shop to pick out flowers. They are picking out flowers to bring to Camila’s dance recital. That seems…like a big step. Emily Maynard tortured herself over not brining anyone into Ricki’s life. Nikki is not only meeting Camila but also his mom and dad and ALSO CAMILA’S MOM. This seems like the kind of meeting that shouldn’t be televised. Nikki is really nervous. As she should be.

Camila’s mom is a BABE. She is outrageously beautiful. The introductions are fine and kind. Camila is adorable as she sings her solo and does her dance. These kids are precious. But a little too precious. I feel pandered to with their adorableness.

Nikki is really good with Camila when they meet despite Camila’s shyness. Everyone in the family seems genuinely kind to Nikki despite how strange the circumstances are. Ok. I feel good about that you guys. I mean as good as one can feel about a child being put on TV as her dad tromps around the world making out with women left and right all in hopes of finding her a new mom.

The dinner portion of the date is at Marlin’s park which Juan Pablo calls his office. This is, in a sense, true. They play catch on the field and Nikki is in quite the high hemmed, low-cute dress to be tossing a baseball around. I think she brought the dress in expectation of going salsa dancing, so she’s probably a little uncomfortable laying on a picnic blanket in it.

“When it comes to Juan Pablo planning this date for me, he definitely hit a home run,” Nikki admits. The rest of the date goes well. Nothing much to say there.

Wow wow wow we are diving right into Sharleen gathering the women around to explain why she is leaving. They are all like “why are you fancy?” and confused. They really say that! “Why are you fancy?” Let’s all say that to each other sometimes. She doesn’t think it’s fair for her to take a spot of one of the other girls who is sure of the future with Juan Pablo. She’s pretty beat up about it. I feel for her. I do. She is a strong woman though, and will make it through.

She steels herself to knock on the door and then walks right in when he opens the door. As they sit on the couch you can tell that she’s fighting back tears.  She starts to whisper all this stuff and finally manages to get the real issue out “I just don’t that I can get to the place that I’m supposed to be at in three weeks time.” She continues to whisper about things she’s already told us about being unsure and taking another girl's spot etc, etc.

Juan Pablo says he understands. But does he?! Does he? Because he does that thing AGAIN where he demands that she look at him and then also demands that she not cry. “Hey don’t cry. Don’t cry because of me. Don’t cry because of me because that make me upset at you,” he says. OH really? How comforting. Thank you for instructing me on how to process my emotions and GUILT TRIPPING me into not crying. Let the woman cry, Juan Pablo GOD.

“Even though it’s not easy, you got to know yourself better,” he tells her. Now that is actually a good sentiment. “You didn’t waste my time at all…If you did not come here, I would not meet you, and I would not see how wonderful you are.” Ok we’re doing better here. He seems like an actually nice guy. “The only thing that pisses me off is that you didn’t sing enough for me,” he jokes. And they laugh. And then she leaves. It’s sad.

Juan Pablo cries to camera as he tells Sharleen how much he appreciates her being honest and courageous and a strong woman. It’s the first time all season I’ve actually really liked him.

But the Group Date and show must go on for Chelsie, Andi, Clare, and Renee. What sets the group date apart from the one-on-one is that on this date there will be a rose given out that guarantees a hometown date. Everyone’s hackles immediately go up. They want to take Juan Pablo to their hometowns!

The girls hop into a sea plane to have a day at a private beach. I think it’s the same private beach from Sharleen’s date. I mean a private beach is a private beach but no one wants sloppy private beach seconds, right?

Chelsie shares some alone time first. Her mom sent her off to the show with a stack of letters, so she shares some of them with JP. She is so bright and fun. You can tell he likes that about her, but is it enough? They seem to have the least advanced relationship out of all the other women.

Then Andi starts to cry immediately upon sitting down with Juan Pablo. He clicks his tongue at her before hugging her to make her feel better? Like she’s a dog during a thunderstorm? She’s just worried about him meeting her family.  He calms her down right quick with some kisses and platitudes. What a guy.

Clare is obviously at about a 13. On a beach. If you can’t keep your energy below a ten on a beach where can you be chill?! WHERE, CLARE?! She is putting a lot of pressure on herself, and so of course she cries when talking to Juan Pablo about her family. She brings up the Dead Dad DVD again. I’m so, so worried about her showing him that DVD and then him dumping her. I can just sense this all happening.

Then the rain sets in, and the big reveal of the date rose. It goes to Andi. I’m excited. Even though Andi has faded from my favorite, I like her for Juan Pablo right now. Clare is furious. She just doesn’t understand why she’s even there when he’s going on dates with all these other women. CLARE. YOU HAD A DATE LAST WEEK. ARE YOU SO QUICK TO FORGET? Clare makes me really caps-y. This episode makes me really caps-y.

Anyways, now Andi gets to go on a special one-on-one in South Beach with Juan Pablo. They are going to have a dance concert with Romeo Santos. They start dancing on stage in front of everyone. Andi is really bad at dancing. Also I’m worried about her right boob popping out of her dress the whole time.

But dun dun DUNNNN back from the group date, Clare is still having a hissy fit back at the suite. “I wanna hang out with Nikki like I wanna get stung by a jelly fish,” Clare says. She’s feeling feisty and is not hiding her disdain for Nikki one little bit. So Nikki calls her out. And the gloves come off. Chelsie and Renee are caught in the middle feeling suuuuper awkward. Nikki, wisely, walks away to pull herself out of a dramatic situation.

So Clare decides that this is the final straw and she shall finally confront Nikki for being a bitch! Nikki is taken aback. Let’s also start this whole portion of the recap by saying I’m Team Nikki. I think she seems pretty normal, and maybe I’m not around her like the other women are, but I don’t think she’s a “mean girl” or a “bitch” at all.

Clare is being super combative and Nikki is trying to actually talk things through. But Clare is out for blood and Nikki finally cuts it off by saying “Clare, I don’t like you. We’re never going to be friends, so you can just excuse yourself from my room”. Clare no likey. Clare begins to have an argument about semantics that this room is NOT Nikki’s room that it’s EVERYONE’S suite and because Nikki didn’t pay for it, it’s not her room. Which is so childish and stupid I can barely believe it’s happening. No, Nikki didn’t pay for the room CLARE, but she’s allowed to have personal space.

Clare finally excuses herself by saying “you’re a piece of work Nikki” and Clare responds with “and you’re f***ing crazy”. Nikki ends it by telling us that Clare, like a dog, “marked a piece of territory that might not be hers.” Which is kind of a mean girl thing to say, but I really don’t like Clare and even though Nikki is kind of “whatever” to me, I’m on her side with this. Clare needs a Xanax, like, yesterday.

Everyone besides Andi is incredibly nervous. Nikki is making things more awkward than they need to be by being stand offish. She could make things easier on herself I think. She and Clare sit in complete silence at one point. You could cut the tension with a butter knife. Then Andi joins. And Renee joins. And the silence continues. Renee is feeling the tension. Renee! Queen of conflict resolution and good feelings Renee is having issues.

But blessedly, Chris Harrison arrives to pull Juan Pablo away and get this rose ceremony show on the road.

Quick sidebar: Are Clare’s boobs fake? They seem huge but are always separate and never fully “cleaved” together? Does that mean they are fake or so real that she lets them be naturally weird?

Ok! First rose goes to: Nikki (duh, she knew it all along), then Clare (because drama), and now the last rose is between Renee and Chelsie. Please God, let it be Renee. Nothing against you as a person Chels, you’re really sweet, but Renee is the best. And it is! It is Renee! Thank goodness. Even though I’m starting to think Renee might be too good for Juan Pablo, she deserves to make it farther in this competition.

Chelsie tears up and Juan Pablo starts to cry. It’s very emotional. Hey JuanPa, what if I told you you aren’t allowed to cry right now?! How would that feel?! He pulls Chelsie away to give her a more formal goodbye. But Chelsie continues to be her positive, wonderful self by saying that he’s wonderful and how she wants them both to have the best match out there. She waits until the fateful limo to fully break down. And then Juan Pablo cries some more. Yes Juan Pablo. See how good it feels to cry? Let other people have that feeling.

Holy cow, though. Next week is two episodes two nights in a row. We have hometowns right on Monday at the regularly scheduled time, and then on Tuesday we have what promises to be an extremely dramatic fantasy suite episode! Yes! I can’t wait you guys, even though it means double recaps. I’ll see you on Wednesday! And follow me on Twitter @chasspod already; it’ll be fun for us. Besos!

The Many Gifts of Paul F. Tompkins -

It is an indisputable fact that Paul F. Tompkins is a giver. He is a dapper gentlemen, a character actor at a genius level, everyone's favorite podcast guest and podcast-er. He is a giver who won't stop giving us delightful comedy treats.

His Youtube interview series "Speakeasy" is just one of the latest delights put forth by Mr. Tompkins. Each week he gets a superstar of the acting and/or comedy world (Aziz Ansari, Damien Lewis, Judy Greer, and Tony Hale to name a few). The interviews are a great peak behind great entertainers that break them down into real people and then blow you away with their hard work and artistry.

This week's episode with Mark-Paul Gosselaar is on the shorter side at 13 minutes, but you won't even notice it. Nor will you notice the time passing as you go down the rabbit hole with the next interview that you just can't miss. Enjoy! Happy passing the time like lightening! Bless and keep you PFT!

The Bachelorette - Episode 1 Recap

WE. ARE. BACK. Yes that’s right boys and girls, with a bit of a delay I am back in the driver’s seat of the psychedelic party bus of recapping the Bachelorette for you beautiful people. We’ve sure had some times, haven’t we? We have. But now we’re here for Andi Dorfman’s season. And we gonna have some new times, some refreshing times, some “Thank God She’s Not Juan Pablo” times. So let’s get this party bus going!

As some of you may or may not know, a contestant on this season of the Bachelorette, Eric Hill, passed away recently. They start the show by dedicating this season to his memory and doing a short video package of his life. It is short and very tasteful. I’m glad they did it. 

But now it’s time to roll the video package of Andi getting’ down and dirty doing her job! She federally prosecutes ALLLLLLLL over Hotlanta! They even have a great staged scene where in an ENTIRELY EMPTY COURTROOM she asks a judge if she may approach the bench. He says yes because no one gives a hot shit because he might as well be the janitor in a black robe for all we know! 

Through the rest of the standard video package Andi talks to her family who tell her all the things families always say. And she talks and talk about how ready she is. Andi is totally open to finding love and is so excited at the prospect of falling in love. Andi is very, very excited but nervous to be the Bachelorette. Andi’s eyebrows are killing me, and I sense they will be a great source of ire for the remainder of the season. They are like a completely flat plane on top and are too thin and just a slight arch. Fix it! Someone! 

To help her get ready for the night, her sister whose name I miss pops in to help her pick a dress and talk about kissing boys on TV. They cry as her sister gives her words of advice and affirmations about the process. 

And before you now it she is standing upon that slicked down driveway we all know and love in a dress that is…a lot. There’s a lot of bejeweling and bedazzling and I’m just not a fan. The dress is almost matronly. Blugh.

Marcus is first out of the limo. Andi hugs him and she will hug all the guys because “it’s like a first date.” She thinks Marcus is very hot.

Chris a farmer from Iowa is next. He’s a hulky man-man but so sweet. I like Chris.

JJ a “pantsapreneur” is out next. He is cute as a button and is also in the lead for most absurd non-job job title. He’s excited for their “love quest”. 

Then we’ve got Marquel. He is African American. So we all know what that means in terms of how much this show loves diversity…

Tasos is a “Wedding Event Coordinator” and has a Mohawk and an earring. He does a bit about placing a love lock on the fence of the mansion and throwing the lock into the fountain with a wish. She is very taken by this, and I’m just laughing picturing some P.A. using the bolt cutters on that lock a little later.

Then a limo is pushed into the driveway by an orange skinned, bleach-blond tuft-haired  muscle man named Cody who is a personal trainer from Chicago. The collar on his suit jacket is popped, and I want him to die. 

Steven is a snowboarder California dude with a stupid flippy surfer-dude haircut and he says “stoked.” He’d be so, so hot if he fixed his hair. 

Rudie comes out with some attorney humor. Rudie looks like if Erik Spoelstra and Mark Ruffalo had a love child who could only look surprised/scared. 

Carl is up next and he is a hunky firefighter from Florida. He got her a mini-globe to mark where they are starting their journey. 

BOLT YOUR DOORS. HERE COMES JASON. Jason is an urgent care doctor from Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, and Jason has shoulder length, shiny blond hair. Jason looks like he is always thinking about how exactly he would kill you and into what position he would taxidermy your body. He does a stupid bit about being a doctor who can diagnose on sight and says she must have a fever because she’s so hot. He’s so, so scary.

  Nick V. is next out of the gate. He’s one of my Chicago homeboys, so despite walking up to her like he’s got a big turd to hold in, I hope he doesn’t embarrass me. He is totes adorbs.

Dylan is an accountant from Boston with terrible slicked back hair. His face is really good though. Dylan Bad hair-Good face is how we shall call him.

Patrick does a soccer ball gimmick where he kicks it away because he’s way better than the last soccer player she dated. Sure, dude.

Emil is a very hunky HELICOPTER PILOT. THE SHOW IS BECOMING SELF-AWARE. ABORT. ABORT. No, no JK, JK, JK. Andi can’t pronounce Emil so he tells her just like “anal” with an “M”. So that’s a great first impression.

Brett is a hairstylist in a bowtie who brings Andi a hotel lamp because his mother taught him to never greet a lady empty handed? Which…ok? I guess. I mean even if that were true…a hotel lamp? I’m unsure of this guy and his horrible, over-styled hair. 

Craig is a giant dork who pops a bottle of champagne and sprays it all over the driveway. Whatever, Craig. Ron is from Israel and Barbados and is very exotic looking and quite attractive.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy effing shit. The next guy out of the limo is named Bradley, and he is a very bland looking man claiming to be an opera singer but MOST IMPORTANTLY he is from HOLLAND, MICHIGAN. THAT IS THE VERY SMALL TOWN IN WEST MICHIGAN WHERE I WENT TO AN EVEN SMALLER LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE. HOLLAND ON THE MAP, Y’ALL. HOLLAND REP-RA-SENT WITH THIS MOON-FACED GOON. He’s a dork and I kind of hate him, but I also love him because of solidarity.

Josh B. is out next and he’s a little short but pretty cute. Another gimmick ensues with Nick S. who is a balding pro-golfer. Brian the basketball coach is a sweetheart whose face is beet red. Andrew is a social media marketer. Mike is yet another long blond haired man who is a dork and looks like a lion. People call him Camps. We won’t because why?

Now it’s time for Eric. They’ve given him the job title of “explorer”. He presents her with two small dolls he was given in Peru, the first country went to outside of North America. A little girl gave them to him to give to his girlfriend, so now he’s giving them to Andi. It’s pretty cute, and he is pretty cute. It’s making me pretty sad.

Josh M. is the last guy out the limos. He is non-descript and also lives in Atlanta.

So now let the cocktail party begin. Will anyone jump in the pool tonight??? Time will tell. Right off the bat, she is very attracted to that last guy Josh M., but is wary that he might just be that confident guy who knows the right words to say. 

Marquel brings out a cookie tasting. He is legit obsessed with cookies? I love cookies. I guess it’s ok. Be obsessed with cookies Marquel. Then he finishes the plate with a black and white cookie to represent the two of them, and I’m uncomfortable.

Erik and Andi talk about his life and job of filming him going to all of the 195 countries of the world. He’s so handsome and sweet and the fact that he has since passed is truly making me a sad lady.

 The Honorable Chris Harrison brings out the first impression rose, and the dudes freak out like elephants with a mouse in old timey cartoons. 

Guys, guys, guys. The unthinkable has happened. There is a party crasher down at craft services, and if you’d given me a million bucks I never could have guessed who it would be. I am so delighted at who it is. Do you want to know who has snuck onto the property to try to vie for Andi’s heart? It’s Chris Bukowski! If the name alone isn’t ringing a bell, how about THIS:

  Yes that’s right, Sam the Eagle. Our very own overly possessive, misogynist from Emily Maynard’s season is the party crasher. The surly security guard is very surly that he is there and has brought roses. The producer’s are all a titter and basically “WTF?”-ing everywhere. I’m so excited to see how this turns out. 

Back at the mansion, Andi is losing her mind in joy about how fun this group of guys is. She’s getting golf lessons and talking to boys with long hair and the pantsapreneur brought her pants! Andi is feeling this being the Bachelorette thing.

With Tasos they talk about traveling. I can’t stand his earring. He could actually be handsome and potentially interesting but he’s got that damn earring.

Nick V. has ten other siblings. He is adorable with his little polka-dot tie. Andi is really taken by him, and I am too. He’s one of the few guys so far who seems to have a natural, not-put-on way of talking to her. 

Bradley the opera singer from Holland, MI is basically Frankenstein’s monster. He’s tall and pale and long armed and big handed and just sings out opera notes every once in a while, I’m sure to everyone’s sheer delight.

Andrew and Patrick form a really fast douche-mance. They are both horrendous human beings that I wish would eat some Fiberglas. 

Back at craft services, Chris Bukowski is making conversation with the surly security guard. Chris Harrison goes to Andi on his behalf to ask if she wants to meet him. After a bit of weighing the options, she decides to not meet him/let him into the group so as to not betray the trust of all the other men who were put through the ringer to be there for her. Chrarrison approves, as do I. I love when a thing doesn’t go well for Chris Bukowski.

  And then Chris Harrison does the impossible by endearing himself to me even more. He is sizing up Chris Bukowski and finding him sorely lacking. Chrarrison keeps telling him that he can’t come up, she doesn’t want to meet him, etc, but Bukowski isn’t taking no for an answer. He says that he was out in LA for seven days waiting to see when they were filming. He won’t leave. He says that. “I’m not leaving, just to let you know. I can’t leave.” And Chris Harrison says, “But if you really respect her, you’ll respect her wishes.” BOOM. THERE’S THE TRUTH. SHE SAID NO, AND NO MEANS NO. RESPECT THAT. WALK AWAY BUKOWSKI.

He continues to protest and Chrarrs finally gets through to him by saying, “the only place it goes from here is it gets bad.” And so per Bukowski’s wishes, Chrarrison takes the roses to give to Andi and hightails it out of there. Chris Harrison has no time for you, Chris Bukowski. Suck on that. 

But again, back to the mansion where the fun is. The guys are still freaking out about the first impression rose and just talking to her in general. Chris the farmer is soooooooooo sweet. He’s just so calm and seems like he’s intently listening. I love this guy. He’s like a gentle grizzly bear.

Marcus is Polish. Andi is super into him physically, but to me he’s kind of a dud. 

The time has come for the first impression rose! Everyone’s hackles raise as Andi takes the rose from its ceremonial plate and walks through the house. She finally approaches the adorable Nick V.! Chicago boy! So precious! First impression rose has never been the final person, but hopefully this bodes well for Nick V.

  And the big rose ceremony is already upon us. With a lovely speech detailing how grateful Andi is to all the guys, we begin.

Who’s in: JJ, Eric, Marquel, Craig, Tasos, Josh M., Brian, Bradley, Marcus, Andrew, Ron, Carl, Chris, Dylan Bad-Hair Good-Face, Brett, Patrick, Cody (ew), and finally Nick S.

Which leaves Steven the snowboarder, Rudie The Spoelstra-Ruffalo Spawn, Doctor of Horror Jason, Lion-Haired Mike, hot helicopter pilot Emil, and one very bitter Josh. He is embarrassed and continues to embarrass himself further by ranting about it. Be less bitter, buddy. It’ll help.

But enough of the cry babies. Let’s toast right alongside the rest of the bachelors left in the mansion with our Bachelorette. They are going to travel Europe and do all kinds of crazy activities. There are lots and lots of tears that will be spilt by everyone involved. I’m so excited.

  I’ve missed you all too. So keep in touch. I’ve only just realized I had a bit of a pile-up in the ask file, so I’ll get to all of those in the next few days. Apart from today’s double post, recaps will go up regularly on Wednesday’s, and you can play along over on Twitter @Chasspod until then. Love to you all! 

Henley Monday - 

I'm both hungover from alcohol from the whole weekend and from eating an insane amount of delicious food last night. So my witty commentary synapses are not firing at top speed.

Blake Griffin is super duper hot and tall and ginger and, true to his nickname, looks like a lion. A sexy, sexy, basketball playing, funny commercial making lion.

And he looks good in a henley. Thanks, Blake Griffin.

Henley Monday on Tuesday - 

Oh, it's that thing where...when it's a holiday on Monday...and so no one's at work and they don't need a hottie in a henley to pull them through the drudgery of their workday...so we post on Tuesday.

Hi guys. I saw Star Trek Into Darkness yesterday and boy was it good, but perhaps more importantly Chris Pine's face and hair were GREAT. I mean just really, standing ovation, beautiful, amazing, incredible performance there.

So here's some more Chris Pine looking A+ with a little bed head messy hair and a crisp, white henley. Set phasers to STUN ME WITH YOUR ICY BLUE GAZE, AM I RIGHT?

Tribute Time: 90s Foof Hair

Men in the 90s had the best hair. It was full and wavy and reminiscent of the hair of the Greatest Generation only less stiff and motionless.  Before faux-hawks, before the Bieber, only slightly before frosted tips and spikes, these are some of the best examples of luxurious and sexy 90s foof hair.

I, personally, love Bill Pullman. I know a lot of women who find him creepy and weird, and I think this is because their entire point of reference is him as Ghost Dad in Casper which is unfair.  Look at how pensive he is here in "While You Were Sleeping"! He's captivated by a smart woman's charm and beauty.

The bookends of this picture are prime specimens. Sean Hunter (Rider Strong) was a ladies man from the start, and from the start they attributed it to his wavy, shiny locks. He had a 2 mile radius of lady-slaying with a single run-through. But let's not neglect Eric Matthews (Will Friedle).  Before he was the lovable, brain-dead goof, he too was quite the ladies man, and it was 100% because of those long and shiny strands framing his darling face.

I could do an entire tribute post to the life's work of Michael J. Fox. He's an objectively incredible guy. Also objectively incredible, his hair here from a promo-shot for his 90s sitcom Spin City. Man, even when he's put together, he's adorable and flopsy.

Steve from Full House. We already loved him for being the sweet, fun-loving, always eating boyfriend to DJ Tanner, but then he voiced Aladdin who is arguably the hottest Disney prince. The slight wave to his hair gives him considerable, dashing volume, no? (When searching for his image, a comparison shot of him to Steve Holt [STEVE HOLT! \o/] came up, which is...pretty spot on.)

And, of course, the best for last:

  That is Adam Scott 20 years ago as "new bully in town" Griff on Boy Meets World, and him again as Ben Wyatt from an episode last season on Parks & Recreation.

He is magnificent. Stay gold, Adam, stay gold.

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow -

For what now seems like the entirety of my elementary, middle, and high school career, one teacher, each Halloween featured this short animated film "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". Made by Disney in 1949 and narrated entirely by Bing Crosby, it is as much a part of Halloween to me as trick or treating and pervasive feeling of being "just a bit too cold" in whatever costume I wear.

If you haven't seen it since your childhood school days, you really owe it to yourself to watch and enjoy this version of the classic Washington Irving tale. Not only does it do it complete justice, pulling directly from the text, but it includes wonderful songs from a by-gone era of Disney sung by golden throated Bing Crosby. It also is entirely enjoyable and laugh-out-loud funny in its animated mastery of physical comedy.

Settle in after work, before the madness begins, and get in the spirit with Ichabod Crane. Happy Halloween!

Henley Monday - 

MONDAY indeed! It's certainly not the best of times over here, and I need all the strength and inspiration I can get to deal with just today. 

Enter this rugged man. He's just a man, we don't know who he is or what films he's been in. We can make up anything we want about him. I, for instance, have chosen to believe that he is a Welsh sailor looking off into the distance at his grand ship that takes him all over the world, but his heart is always wandering home. Isn't that nice? I think so.

What do you want his story to be? Day dream about it while the time tick-tocks away and you can be home once more.