Sex That's Like Holding Down An Overly Anxious Rabbit At The Vet So It Doesn't Accidentally Kick You

I don’t take hints. Throw a rock at me

wanna pound a puppy with a squeaky toy in their mouth

hearing the little "squeak squeak squeak" in time with my thrusts and the "uh uh uh"

the drool running out of the corners of their mouth

this would fix me i think

I’m sorry I dehumanized you and talked to you in that voice owners use on their dogs. That wasn’t nice for you, was it? No? Nooo, you didn’t like that did you? Aw I’m sorry I didn’t mean to belittle you and put you beneath me like you’re a dog. I’ll do better, okay?

bro don't waste money buying a fleshlight I'm literally right here

Doms also deserve to be gently pet like a dog, pet your dom today! 🖤

no puppy should ever have to do long distance anything. except for ball

the type to cry during sex because i love you so much. god youre too pretty, god you feel too good. god im so lucky, god i love you

lets jerk off.. together.. take my hand. wait no i need my handfor this sorry

Hey man you look like you had a long day, come sit on the couch with me. Oh yeah, just get comfy and relax I know you must be stressed out, here let me massage you a bit. It’s totally not weird I don’t know what you mean, yeah like doesn’t it feel so good when I give you these head scratches, behind your ears too?

Aww you seem like you’re already less tense, do you want a treat? What no man I didn’t say that in a patronizing way, I just mean like a snack. You’re so sensitive haha, anyways before I give you your treat you gotta raise your paw. What I’m not treating you like a dog? I’m just joking around, no need for you to get all mad. Why are you getting up, aww come on sit boy! Oh my god you’re so red, it’s just a joke dude, don’t you want your treat puppy?

Oh my god you’re so dramatic; are you seriously going to have a fit over some stupid joke? I mean if I didn’t think you were red from being mad I would think it’s because you liked this. Yeah you like being talked down to like a fucking dog? Oh yeah keep denying, I totally believe you. Hey come back here, let me just- hey sit still, yeah stop fucking fighting I just need to click this collar into place. Aww you look adorable, are you embarrassed puppy? Stop avoiding eye contact look at me. Dude this is what you are, I don’t care if you protest it, you’re just a pathetic fucking dog.