Hello! More Headcannons! I Am Having Lots Of Fun

Crying shaking throwing up over the fact that the only reason the One Ring was destroyed in the end was because Bilbo spared Smeagol’s life out of mercy and pity and the goodness of his heart and that goodness saved everyone in Middle Earth and I know probably everyone already knows that and there’s a million posts like this but Tolkien just said love and kindness and mercy is the only way we are ever going to accomplish anything

Soaps “let me finish him” is demonic

There is something to be said to Soap not hesitating to bring him down to the ground. In front of his Captain, in front of his Commander.

Price once said “it needs violence and timing and I can do both.” Soap has violence but apparently Price thinks the timing isn’t right. Because a Sergeant shooting a HVT (high value target) who’s in custody, in the skull on a plane just because he’s angry at him probably has a lot of paperwork attached to it…..

There was a man who always did cheat

In this he had everyone beat.

He cheated at poker,

And was always a joker;

The man who had mastered deceit.

babygirl aragorn

LotR fandom, as far as I've seen, pays an astounding lack of attention to the Fellowship's canonical Roommates Period, in which they all lived in the same house in Minas Tirith for two-and-a-half months after Aragorn's coronation simply because he wanted his friends to still be around for his wedding (which, incidentally, he refused to tell them was coming).

Why is this just highschool?

In my headcanon/theory of orcs:

Orcs are uniformly tone-deaf, no exceptions. But they do sing. It just doesn't sound so good to anyone who isn't tone-deaf.

(Melkor, if he noticed, appreciated the dissonance, but Sauron was Not A Fan.)

Also their sense of rhythm is fine and orcish drummers can get quite sophisticated.

Common subjects for orc songs:

Fear Us

We are doing a task [which isn't very interesting and this at least livens it up]

We are going to kill you and destroy everything you love and have fun doing it

A 'and then there were none' backwards-counting song of elf-princes, some verses inspired by real events

A prince of cats got his ass kicked by a girl and a dog, definitely not inspired by real events, honest, but also definitely not to be sung in Mordor

We've been marching a long time and it's annoying

The Sun is a bitch

I Fear Nothing Except The Sea Which Is Fucking Terrifying

My warg is the best warg, she's eaten lots of babies

Behold my gruesome trophies

My body is the most fucked up and uncomfortable but I make it work

There's Something In These Caves (It's A Dragon And Planning To Eat Us)

These Orders Indicate Our Senior Leadership Has Shit For Brains

I Wish I Was Back In Goblin-Town

Today Is A Terrible Day To Die But I Guess That's What We're Doing

Me at @ghostslollipop btw you're great <3 <3

Tolkien at the start of the Hobbit: oh I’m going to tell a fun little story for my children about how even the smallest people can make a difference!

Tolkien at the end of the Hobbit, gripping his son’s shoulders intensely: Chris. Christopher. Listen.  Greed will only corrupt you Christopher, it will twist your mind like a poison, like a disease, until you are nothing but a hollow wreck of what you once were.  Also I’ve killed off like half the characters in a battle I don’t even show sorry. 

Bitches: mad about Rings of Power's Galadriel not being serene and wise at all times.

Me, an enlightened bitch:

obsessed with how tidy he keeps his hair around Gil Galad versus the floppy hair in Khazad Dum. look at this

Gil Galad is like that grandmother who pulls kids close and combs their hair until they yell