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can I write this too though? Like its such a wonderful Idea.

To everyone who keeps making metaphorical stories about aliens being connected to race, and humans judging them based on their skin color: 

You know nothing of this world, this universe, or Javert!

Yes, yes, the ‘aliens are a different color’ trope is great and you can get a lot of commentary out of it. After all, we humans do hate things that are a different color than peach.

But do you know what else we humans hate?

We humans hate anything other than the normal ‘body’.

Give me an Earth - no, no, not just the broad Earth, give me a high school - where a few different groups of aliens are there as part of the universal foreign exchange program, and the human students are having a field day.

Give me bullies who taunt all of the aliens. Give me an administrative body that does nothing. “Well, humans will be humans.” Give me parents who teach their children that it’s alright to stare at the aliens. Give me a metaphor so blunt that you’re all probably groaning.

Give me all of this.

And then give me a group of disabled kids who come to the aliens’ defense.

Give me an alien who can’t see, who cannot possibly grasp the concept of seeing, who doesn’t know what the big deal is about seeing. And then give me a blind kid who’s like, “Yeah, I don’t get what the big deal is, either. But you’re never going to survive on this planet without having some sense of where you’re going. Here, try this.”

“IS IT A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION?”

“…Close. It’s called a cane. No, no, it’s not - you don’t have to - okay, seriously, stop poking everyone with it.”

*Poke poke*

“That’s literally doing nothing.”

*Poke poke*

“You’re not injuring anyone.”

*Poke poke*

“I’m pretty sure you’re poking the lamp.”

Give me an alien who doesn’t walk, so much as it slithers. And it gets along well with a boy in a wheelchair, who really regrets letting it borrow said wheelchair because it somehow turned it into a nuclear-powered mini spaceship that travels down the hallways at the speed of light. (”I was in the bathroom for like two minutes.”)

Give me an alien who is over-stimulated and begins creating weird sonic waves from its mouth, before an autistic girl covers him with a weighted blanket, completely pacifying him.

Give me a girl with behavioral issues who talks to an alien with behavioral issues and is like, “I’ll tell you what; I’ll promise not to punch Jane “Homecoming Queen” Doe in her face, if you promise not to destroy the entire east side with the push of a button.”

Give me a boy with a prosthetic arm and leg building a prosthetic arm and leg for a very excited alien, who doesn’t know how to thank them enough.

Give me an alien who is really, really, really, really, really confused because what do you mean you have a machine that keeps your life source from exploding, what is this maker of paces, you humans are hard core.

Give me an alien who is equally confused because what do you mean she can’t hear? Her hearing appendages are right there? I see nothing wrong with them?

And then give me the alien parents who are the biggest soccer moms of the galaxy and find out that the other kids were picking on their children and are ready to blow up the entire world before the aliens are like, “No, look, it’s cool, these humans don’t pick on us.” “Yeah, they’re cool.” “Besides, they give us weapons of mass destruction.” *Poke poke*

Somebody give me this!

Wait a minute, I’m an author!

I’ll give it to myself.

And also to all of you.

Stay tuned.

reblogging only for this master piece

A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that’s a lot of information to swallow.

Ok Look, I know that in about a year I’m probably gonna change states and such. But the thing is now I miss friends I haven’t even made. Every time I make a memory I know I probably won’t spend all my 4 years with them but I still wanna be friends and make memories with them and have fun. Sure it’s heart breaking but I’d rather break my heart a thousand times then not make friends at all. 

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Holy shizz this is old but I really wanna write about thisl.

A= Alien H=Human

A:Does this mean we could just be fictional characters that some sick mind invented?

H: Well... I don’t personally believe that is the case but yes. You and I could Just be the writings of a very emotional teenager that needs to finish cleaning his room but decided to write about us instead.

A: Was- Was that a fourth wall break?

H: eh, sometimes I pretend I AM a fictional character and break the fourth wall. 

A: I can’t believe that we just all might be made up characters

H: I wasn’t expecting to deal with an existential crisis today but okay.

Humans are weird: 4th wall break

Okay so the aliens finally know the concept of fictional characters and a human convinces his best alien buddy to watch deadpool with him. In the movie are a lot of 4th wall breaks. Now imagine this: Deadpool:it’s like the studio doesn’t have enough budget for more x-men Alien:did he just. Did he just talk to us? Human:jup it’s a 4th wall break Alien:? Human: it basically means the character knows he’s fictional. Alien: so they have self awareness?!? Human: no it’s just… Alien: they know!?! OMG will they break this 4th wall and come to our world?!? Will they attack us?!? How can we kill deadpool he’s basically immortal?!? Does this mean we could just be fictional characters too that some sick mind invented?!? The next 5 hours are used to calm the alien down. Like always, feel free to contribute.

Alright You asked for it!

so first there was an Instagram post about this lady caring for a snail she accidentally stepped on. as I was scrolling through the comments i see that someone has proposed to another person over the chat. I being the wise man I am advise against this as seen in this screen shot.

I was not expecting her to propose to ME instead! as I didn’t wanna break her heart twice(I am very empathetic) So I decided to propose back and deal with it later. to which her reaction was

At this point I was starting to get worried that this was serious and not a joke. So I asked if it was serious and to my horror I got this response.

Now as I was panicking. How would I explain this to my parents! I was still suspecting it was a joke yk like one of those things so I asked when the wedding was.

Now I was still sorta thinking this was a joke untl...

SHE WAS IN MY DMS NOW I WAS PANICKING!!! but there was still hope if she was older than me (I’m 15 btw) but she beat me to it

Man was she persistent! at least I have a temporary solution though. And that ladies and Gentle men is how I accidentally got engaged

Wanna hear how I accidentally got engaged today?

Idk if y’all wanna hear this but all it takes is one reblog and I will tell the full story with screenshots

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