HELP THE TIKTOK ABLEISTS ARE SAYING NARCS EYES CAN STRAIGHT UP GO BLACK⁉️⁉️⁉️

Yeah planning out how to "torture" people definitely seems like a very reasonable and healthy thing to do.

What I'm actually saying when I defend people with stigmatised disorders: “Please don’t spread harmful stereotypes, not everyone is like that, it’s really hurtful to people who struggle with it.”

What people seem to think I'm saying: “Abusive behaviour is absolutely okay if someone’s mentally ill, it’s discrimination not to ignore red flags, please walk up to the nearest person on the street screaming at nothing and offer them your couch to sleep on.” 

I know there's already an NPD flag, but I'll be honest...some of its color symbology and language feel both stigmatizing and yet also too lax. If you'll hear me out, I'll explain my version's changes.

I like that some of the colors on the original are picked off of the narcissus (daffodil), so I reincorporated that and added the green of the leaves for growth and recovery instead.

Something about the black strip being support for people with NPD felt...dark, sad, and generally like it added to this idea that were are a dark mark on the population. Instead, I made the white strip for this as a way to say...I want to wipe the slate clean on how others see us so we can be really supported. Additionally, the black, red, orange gradient kinda looked like raw meat. Just felt too violent. We aren't inherently violent.

Finally, I changed the verbiage of "normalization of symptoms" to "destigmatization of symptoms" as I feel the distinction is a healthier way for us to view our of symptoms.

We are struggling with bad coping mechanisms that DO need to be correct, but are misunderstood and need to be destigmatized.

Lastly, the overall more childlike palette as a whole represents trauma stemming from childhood and how suffering from this PD often feels like being thrown back that childhood pain and never learning safe coping mechanisms.

Thank you for reading!

I also previously made a comic about the comorbidity of personality disorders with autism. Though it only briefly mentions my NPD/NPD traits, I still think it's important to add here:

NPD is never being good enough.

NPD is being isolated from everybody else.

NPD is knowing you will never form connections to people like egotypicals do.

NPD is never being authentic.

NPD is feeling empty inside.

NPD is constant paranoia and the sickening feeling of thinking everyone is going to sabotage you.

NPD is constant distrust.

NPD is self hatred.

NPD is feeling sick when others succeed.

NPD is knowing love will never be enough for you, you need obsession, devotion, to be the most important person, to be the air they breathe, to be worshipped but knowing they will probably never be that to you.

NPD is needing control.

NPD is constantly feeling underestimated and belittled.

NPD is having to be admired by everyone.

NPD is the want to be feared and respected.

NPD is never feeling satisfied.

NPD is competing with socially assertive people and getting unbearably angry at them for purposefully stealing your spotlight.

NPD is nobody understanding your struggles irl.

so i’ve been thinking again, and i wanna make an important reminder for my fellow cluster b folks and trauma survivors.

healing involves evaluating your current behaviors, how they may be harmful to yourself and others, and then replacing those behaviors with more constructive coping skills.

in order to do that, it’s important to approach the healing process without judgment. especially when you have a cluster b disorder or any personality disorder, it can be hard not to judge yourself as a bad person because of your maladaptive behaviors. you may see yourself as selfish, for example, because of possessive or dismissive actions.

but remember that being selfish is a survival instinct—your body and mind wants to look out for itself first, that’s totally normal. even though the results of that desire may be harmful, it’s best to acknowledge and accept that those maladaptive behaviors are a trauma response, and there is no reason to judge yourself for that.

self-love can feel nigh impossible for cluster b’s but it’s so important to our healing to at least try! i love yall and i believe in you!

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

hey maybe, when people with npd tell you not to call abusers and rapists and the like narcissistic just because they're horrible people, view it not as us defending abusers or trying to control how victims talk about their trauma, and more like i as a survivor don't wanna be fucking put in the same category as an abuser or rapist for no fucking reason because you can't bring it upon yourself to spell the word egotistical