“not Everything In Life Is About Winning” Ok Then What The Fuck Is It About? Losing ?? Genuinely

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

sometimes you just gotta develop feelings of superiority and entitlement and move on tbh

Part of my NPD is built on the "toughen up" unhealthy trauma coping mechanism - where the grandiosity is an attempt at convincing myself I'm over it and trauma hasn't affected me that much. I believe this contributes to the low empathy. Since I've basically told myself "suck it up" about severe childhood trauma, hearing someone else feeling distress about something elicit an automatic response of "Why are they so weak? I got over it, why can't they?"

(Disclaimer: The idea that I somehow "got over it" is in fact a fucking lie I tell myself and have repeatedly fallen for)

Woe I made a hyper specific NPD bingo

Egotypicals can interact just dont be weird

It’s absolutely insane how I still see so many borderlines misuse the term narcissist…you do realize all that crap they say about ppl with NPD being evil they say about us too, just to a lesser extent, right?

If you're convinced that narcissists are uncaring cold-blooded monsters, you never had a person with NPD trust you enough and it kinda shows why.

"But you don't look like a narcissist"

Oh mb *sharpies my eyes black*

Fuck the stigma around NPD.

I love narcissists.

I want narcissists to succeed in life.

I want narcissists to find happiness.

I want narcissists to have healthy and effective support systems.

I want narcissists to be able to say they have their disorder, and it be treated the same way as someone saying they have autism or ADHD.

I want narcissists to take care of themselves.

Because that's what narcissists deserve.

Because narcissists are people.

Questioning NPD culture is getting annoyed when people don’t understand that NPD is a spectrum like any other disorder. Yes, sometimes the traits can make someone an asshole, that can happen with any disorder or any mentally stable person. But sometimes the traits can also make you one of the kindest people on earth because NPD is literally viewing yourself as the best and wanting everyone else to agree.

— 🕸🕷 (Is this one taken?)

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People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder deserve love and support.

Reblog if you agree.