NPD Culture Is Wanting To Come Out To Your Friends About Your Diagnosis So They'll Comfort You And Give

society makes it hard to tell you're aroace because you think "hmmm i value this person deeply and want to be close to them and have them consider me as closely as i consider them. i must be romantically or sexually attracted to them" like no buddy you've just got separation anxiety

I genuinely don’t get the whole shtick that NPD makes you a bad person, for many reasons.

I mean most obviously a disorder doesn’t define you but like, in my experience it’s also just that NPD does the exact OPPOSITE of what people think it does!

it can be a horrible thing to deal with, I won’t deny that. But it has forced me to confront two choices- who I am/who I want to be, and who NPD wants me to be. Like, most people don’t ACTIVELY make the choice not to hurt or manipulate others, but I do because NPD is always influencing my desire to be in control and manipulate others. It’s much more present in my mind which means i HAVE to actively make a choice every day to not hurt other people. So actually, NPD just reveals the kind of person I actually am, which is a good one!

I didn’t choose the emotional struggles that forced me to develop this way, but i DO choose how I react. When I want to yell and hurt, i CHOOSE to be kind instead. I’m not saying that I never fuck up or anything like that, I mean hell y’all have seen me fuck up a lot. but even with all the narc crashes and self esteem issues, I am glad I have NPD because I wouldn’t know how much I care about doing the right thing without it!

Just a reminder that ableism against personality disorders, especially cluster b personality disorder, is alive and well.

Not having empathy doesn’t make someone evil. It doesn’t make them an abuser. In fact, people without empathy are better in certain vital positions. We’re better at being first responders, 911 operators, and other tasks that would overwhelm empaths. We work better in critical situations than empaths do.

Thinking that any disorder makes someone evil is ableist. And when you take into account the sexist bias in diagnosing women with BPD and the racist and classist bias in diagnosing POC and prison inmates with ASPD and NPD? It’s not only ableist, it’s all kinds of -ists. Plus, it’s really rich for someone who claims that empathy is what makes someone good to have so little empathy for people with disorders that are literally trauma-based.

So yeah if you see someone being a dick to people with PDs? Say something. Because they’re definitely not going to listen to us.

Me: ah yes it’s nice to be in a part of the internet where I can let my guard down and show my true—

My brain: impress the other narcissists

Me: what?

My brain: you have to impress them

Riddle me this narc abuse believers, if narcissistic abuse is real, then how come I'm God's perfect little angel?

hahaha. im so normal. Npd?? literally stands for "normal person disorder" idk what u mean. NORMAL person. normal. ive never even thought anything bad. i have normal relationships with people. i view reality in a normal way... nothing bad has happened to me. i have been treated well by everyone. Which is exactly why theres nothing wrong with me

and ableists say that this sort of shit doesn’t happen.

Most common responses I get when I post any sort of cluster B positivity:

An extensive trauma dump in an attempt to validate their hatred towards us.

"You sound like a narcissist"

"You're just trying to manipulate us but we won't fall for it"

"This is really invalidating to actual trauma survivors"

"This is why people don't like cluster B's"

"Part of supporting someone with a cluster B disorder is by not enabling their abusive behaviour"

"I'll only support cluster B's if they get help"

Assuming that my opinions are based on a lack of research.

A looooong response about how trauma survivors need to stick together that promptly gets deleted when they realise I myself have a cluster B disorder.

*Posts to r/fakedisordercringe*

Tries to justify the exclusion of an entire group of trauma survivors because "we need to keep ourselves safe from people like you"

people with personality disorders: it was difficult to survive on the ground, so i climbed in a tree and now im stuck and can’t get down

mental health workers (and everyone really): it seems that they climbed in trees to manipulate us. they are fully capable of getting down but doing so would make it harder to abuse us, so they stay there

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.