These Parallels, My God 😩

I'm gonna spam the timeline with secret forest posts!

Could you analyze the scene from ep.12 (the one with the stairs)? It's one of my favorites because defines very well the relationship between Shi-mok and Han Yeo-jin. 😗

Aha, yes! 

The stairwell scene is interesting because it’s one of the few scenes in the entire show that’s solely devoted to relationship building, as opposed to having something to do with the case. Relationships obviously develop over the course of the show, but most of it happens in the background/over small details, subtle moments. The stairwell scene stands out because it’s so completely in our face about Shi-mok and Yeo-jin, in a way that stood to highlight how far our favorite duo have come in their relationship despite the setbacks of the first half of the season.

In this Youtube video, you can see one of Shi-mok’s pain episodes in S1 juxtaposed with the stairwell scene in S2. The very first time we see Shi-mok deal with his pain is in S1E6, after he comes back from speaking with his mother. It’s implied that the headache is triggered from his interaction with his mother, who is clearly a source of deep trauma and emotional repression for him, and he deals with the aftermath of his pain alone. 

In that scene, he spills an entire bottle of water as he collapses, and he wakes alone to the same puddle of water next to him. No one was there to see him go through his pain, and no one is there to clean up the water for him. He trudges to get a paper towel roll and mops up what he can.

The sheer sense of loneliness and isolation we get from this dialogue-less scene is immense. We’re told throughout the series, in brief subtle moments, that the core of Shi-mok’s emotional state is defined by his isolation. His pain isolated him from his parents and his classmates; his surgery isolates him from the entirety of human society. The only reason Shi-mok seems to be able to deal with his situation is because of his work, the relentless pursuit of justice that seems to anchor him to his identity, and the fact that his lobotomy eliminated the worst of his emotions. Otherwise, I can’t imagine any person actually enduring his situation for the entirety of their adulthood. 

Towards the beginning of S1, Shi-mok tells Jung-bon flatly, “You’re right. I don’t have anyone beside me, and I never will.” Jung-bon, who doesn’t know about his condition, would clearly interpret this as Shi-mok refusing to develop a relationship that might alleviate his isolation. But for the viewer who knows about Shi-mok’s condition, it’s clear that he’s simply resigned to the idea of his solitude. He doesn’t expect companionship because of his inability to connect to his emotions, and I think this expectation might have more to do with the other person not accepting his condition than his own lack of desire for connection.

So this is where Shi-mok begins: alone and resigned to being alone.

S1 is spent proving to Shi-mok that he doesn’t have to do the work alone; Yeo-jin is not only a good partner but also a unique conduit for his deeply dormant emotional state. Without crossing the line or breaching his boundaries, she gently points out that he actually can tap into a deeper recess of himself and interact with other people in a way that is meaningful. 

At first, he seems almost disturbed by her suggestions that he can feel and act out emotions, but over the course of S1, he reaches a place where he actually does tap into a part of himself that he might not have engaged with for a good part of his life. So Shi-mok’s emotional development over S1 is not just about his fight for justice, but also about him relearning his ability to connect with people. 

If S1 is spent with Shi-mok learning about his ability to connect, I think S2 then leads naturally to him learning about his desire to connect. His resignation to his solitude in S1 means he never thinks of friendships, relationships, or human connections as a possibility in his personal life, so naturally, he never seems to ask himself if he wants it in the first place. It makes sense that S1 thus addresses the issue of him realizing that the possibility exists at all, but it never gets far enough to show Shi-mok actively desiring that human connection.

Shi-mok at the beginning of S2 is in a similar place as the beginning of S1, in that he is fairly alone and isolated due to his exile to Tongryeong. It doesn’t seem like he’s kept in regular contact with anyone, not even Yeo-jin, and he clearly hasn’t made any personal connections in his new district office. Yet unlike S1, when this just seemed like a part of his character, Shi-mok in his isolation feels deeply unhappy. We’re given shots of him alone in a hotel room because he’s unable to find a place to stay in Seoul, of him watching families and couples run past his car at a rest stop. They’re very subtle moments, but I think they amount to Shi-mok having a deeper awareness of his own isolation, and perhaps the possibility that he doesn’t actually want to live in such solitude. 

And of course, when he sees Yeo-jin again in S2, he is also noticeably different.

S2 is all about Shi-mok reaching out first, even as Yeo-jin draws back further and further due to her own personal emotional arc. Since we’ve discussed all of those moments to death already, there’s something more specific I want to look at: Shi-mok making his personal preferences known.

These are also small moments, hardly relevant to the major plot at hand, but in multiple scenes, Shi-mok openly voices his (food) preferences and Yeo-jin listens. In S2E2, Yeo-jin asks him if he wants to eat stir-fried octopus or hot pot, and Shi-mok, without making the usual polite deferrals or simply ordering on his own, tells her that he wants stir-fried octopus. This repeats in S2E16 (he asks for soju, not makgeolli), and of course, during the stairwell scene In E12.

I think among all the moments in the stairwell scene, I was most surprised when Yeo-jin offers to buy Shi-mok a can of cola for his headache, and he simply accepts the offer. It’s not exactly a personal preference, per se, but it places Shi-mok in a position where he has to decide what he wants. Unlike other acts of care by Yeo-jin (buying him food in S1E6, getting him chamomile tea in S1E12, ordering him another round of cabbage in S2E12), in this particular moment, Shi-mok actually has to actively say whether or not he wants what Yeo-jin is offering. In all of her other moments, Yeo-jin just does the thing — she takes him by the arm to buy him dinner, she shows up at his door with the tea, she orders the cabbage without him asking — but in this particular one, Shi-mok has to agree to receive her kindness. 

And he does, without a moment’s hesitation. 

Knowing Shi-mok and the way he uses politeness as a barrier and defense mechanism, it would have been natural for him to politely refuse or even simply put up the pretense of hesitation. But much like their dinner scene in S2E2, he doesn’t put up any of those pretenses around Yeo-jin. It shows us clearly that Shi-mok recognizes her kindness for what it is, is grateful for it, and wants it. 

The stairwell scene in S2 is a neat piece of writing work, since it gives us a clear moment of personal connection directly following a scene where Shi-mok and Yeo-jin are forced, again, to be on opposite sides. It’s a moment of reconciliation, when both sides (esp. Yeo-jin) have to admit that their personal care for each other transcend the confrontations of being on opposite sides, and it’s also a moment calling back to earlier moments of connection in S1 that serve as the basis of their relationship. After this scene, something significant changes between them — both of them seem to implicitly agree that their partnership is most important and that they’re willing to prioritize their work together before any of the petty politics dividing them. 

But it also gives us a significant moment of Shi-mok’s own emotional development, since we see how he is no longer just realizing the possibility of his connection to other people, especially Yeo-jin. He’s making his own (small, small, baby steps) approach to these connections on his end. He’s showing that he does actually have certain desires, preferences, that he is willing to share them with Yeo-jin, and that he’s willing to work on his end to build on whatever connection he has with other people. He’s no longer resigned to his isolation or even just realizing the possibility of potential personal relationships; he’s actively working to build on the one he has, the one that he’s deemed most important. 

This is it! And people out there describing this as "mild criticism" is just being ignorant at this point.

i kind of don’t like Taylor describing what happened to her in 2016 as ‘getting cancelled’ because it definitely wasn’t. it was a whole different beast. getting ‘cancelled’ is people finding out something about you, talking about it for a week, causing you to take like 3 weeks off and then everyone just moves on. she had a grown man who was weirdly obsessed with her since she was 19 publicly discredit her art and sexualize her to the entire world, put her in a revenge-porn style music video with a wax figure depicting her naked body without her consent, had a crowd of tens of thousands of people say ‘fuck taylor swift’, had a mural painted of her death, and went into hiding for almost two years. ‘getting cancelled’ involves a few tweets and an apology note…. not years and years of therapy. 

Okay! I need to repost this because not showering is utterly disgusting! When we started to associate using mirror is a sign of women? Like there's a logic!

19. 05. 2021

A super productive day. I studied for 5 hours on forensics report and completed it :)

I prefer listening to podcast or using animedoro method for long hour work. Have a happy week ahead 😊

If they all go away, so will all the hatred. Everyone who was trying to kill us will be crushed flat, leaving behind nothing but flat emptiness. The thing all those people overseas feared the most has come to pass. And it’s all because they decided we were devils and tried to kill us. So this is something they brought on themselves. Just the consequences of their own actions. Right?

Big Sis?

One thing i can yap and yap on about for ages is the fact that the greek class cant for the life of them grasp the fact that bunny is upset by the murder of the farmer

When henry is telling the story of the bacchanal to richard, he says bunny couldnt understand how serious the situation was because he was freaking out which is funny, because he was the only one who understood

Henry also said that bunny wasnt upset about the murder but rather about the fact that theyd gone without him, and that he couldn't possibly care that theyd killed a man because he wasnt "exactly the most moral man" as if u needed to be fucking gandhi to realize that killing someone is wrong

When bunny started acting out they were all convinced he was doing it out of spite or to get under their skin, completely ignoring the signs that showed he was having a complete nervous breakdown and was slowly losing his mind because of what they had done

This is because they themselves did not see the act as something that was morally wrong, but rather an inconvenience for them. Like francis said, it wasnt voltaire they killed. They were so out of touch with reality that they lived not in this world but in one where morality doesnt exist, one they are the center of where the gods personally descend to be by their side. They lived in their ancient tales and greek poems. Bunny was the only one who was grounded and they cant understand that. It doesnt even begin to cross their minds. And its the same with bunnys death, they dont care about the morality of it because in their mind they are closer to gods than to humans and gods do whatever they please. They can kill a farmer and who cares? Its not like he was voltaire. They can kill their friend and who cares? Heroes kill and heroes die all the time.

this distance between them and the real world is the most important part of their characters because it explains everything else, from the incest to henrys suicide. Bunny was the only one who was rooted to reality which is what always set him apart from the rest and most importantly why things started to spiral out of control as soon as they killed him. He was their anchor to the real world and to sanity.

here is my brand new challenge! i’m so excited for this one because i’ve never done an autumn challenge before but it is one of my favourite seasons! i hope lots of you will take part and i can’t wait to get to know you guys! <3

🍂 Info 🍂

If you do the challenge, use the tag #autumn studying challenge so i (and others) can see your posts. I will try to reblog as many posts in the tag as possible. 

This challenge will run for 40 days - from the 1st October to the 9th November

There are daily prompts for every day of the challenge

But, as always, I don’t expect everyone to be able to post every day so you can always do catch-up posts!

If you have any questions, feel free to send me an ask!

🍂 Rules 🍂

If you want to do the challenge, please reblog this post

If you do it on any other social media platform (ie. Instagram), please give credit! (my instagram | my tiktok | my pinterest)

The challenge will officially start on the 1st October, but if you come across this later, you can definitely start anytime during these two months!

🍂 Prompts 🍂

1st October - What is your favourite thing about autumn?

2nd October - Do you have any autumn traditions?

3rd October - What is a good memory that you have from autumn? 

4th October - Is there anything special happening for you this autumn?

5th October - Do you have any goals for this autumn? 

6th October - What is the weather like where you live during autumn?

7th October - What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word ‘autumn’?

8th October - If autumn were a colour, what would it be?

9th October - What are three things that you associate with autumn?

10th October - What is your favourite autumn food?

11th October - What is your favourite autumn drink?

12th October - What is your favourite autumn scent?

13th October - What is your favourite autumn movie?

14th October - What are your favourite songs to listen to in autumn?

15th October - If you could magically get rid of anything about autumn, what would it be?

16th October - What is would your perfect autumn day be like?

17th October - Outside or inside?

18th October - Sunny autumn days or rainy autumn days?

19th October - Pumpkin spice lattes or hot chocolate?

20th October - What is your usual autumn outfit?

21st October - Falling rain or a crackling fireplace?

22nd October - Pumpkin pie or apple pie?

23rd October - Walk in the woods or read a book in front of the fire?

24th October - Fluffy socks or slippers?

25th October - Fireplace or bonfire?

26th October - Spooky mood or cozy mood?

27th October - Trick or treat?

28th October - Haunted house or Halloween party?

29th October - Buy a Halloween costume or make a Halloween costume?

30th October - If you could dress up as anything for Halloween, what would it be?

31st October - Are you doing anything for Halloween?

1st November - Fairy lights or candles?

2nd November - Vanilla or cinnamon?

3rd November - Splash in mud puddles or walk on crunchy leaves?

4th November - Bake cookies or make bread?

5th November - Sweater or cardigan?

6th November - Scarves or hats?

7th November - What do you prefer: winter or autumn?

8th November - How are you preparing for winter?

9th November - What was your favourite thing about autumn this year?

🍂 So this is the challenge! I hope that you will join in and enjoy doing it this autumn! Please message me or send me an ask if you have any questions about it or just want to have a chat <3 🍂

[Taglist under the cut:]

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i will NEVER stop talking about “you’re hurting me”. there couldn’t have been better or more devastating last words for kitay. for so long he endured the pain every time rin called the fire. he never said anything. rin saw how much he was hurting, constantly asked him if he wants her to stop, but he always said no, always said he was fine because he never wanted to deny her anything. because he knew how important the fire was to her. the only time he denies her is at the very end, when rin loses her mind. and even then, at her worst, as she tries to overpower kitay, the SECOND he says “you’re hurting me” she stops. and not only does she stop, but it stops her descent into madness and she has one final moment of clarity. because “rin couldn’t hurt kitay and not worry about it. if she could, she’d be lost.”