I’m Sure Someones Already Said This But I Often See Tumblr Described As A Hellsite. This Is Fundamentally

"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

tell me my prof didn’t upload the reading by photocopying his kindle reader page by page

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and keep you forever. good luck 👍"

hey its me your immune system. looks like we caught somethin here. try sneezing real fast see if that gets rid of it. yeah no dice, huh... alright lemme try filling your lungs with fluid. no yeah i do it all the time dont worry works like a charm. hmmm... still no good... alright well just hold tight here for a minute maybe it just needs time to start working. in the mean time ill go fire up the ol' neuron cooker n see if that helps

I'm on this team part time but my money works full time.

lock the fuck in?? no way dude. I am TUCKED the fuck in :) good night

Mr Elvis werent you dead

I got better

Unreliable narrators are one hell of an idea. You can just write whatever, and if a reader points out "hey the way this scene happened should not be physically possible if it's done the way this character described it", you can just be like "yeah I don't trust that fucker either."

i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever