Basically I Think A Bacchanal Would Fix Me

"You should be at the club" Direct exposure to the club would kill me instantly

"You should be at bar trivia night" This I cannot deny

me doctor says I has “iron da fish in sea” but I don’t remember ironin’ no fish

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

what's boobies. heheh i'm a visual learner by the way *someone shows me their boobs* jesus christ what the fuck is that

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

This is how it went canonically

Having a boyfriend is literally free

Slumber party

in another life, I would have loved nothing more than to kill people with hammers with you

south park milfs moms!!