Some Pokemon Types Are Simple. Their Definitions Are Solid, And Are Unchangeable. For Example, Fire Pokemon.

I’ve kinda wondered what would happen if you took little trope inside jokes or realizations off the internet and made them into full games. For example, this is Tumblr after all. What would happen if someone saw our many, many ramblings about humans being space orcs and made a full game off of it? What would it look like?

For me, if I had to design a “Humans Are Space Orcs” Game, I think I’d do it as an MMORPG. I think I’d actually start it off as a completely human-free game, where you get to choose an alien species to play as (with various benefits and drawbacks) being part of this gargantuan intergalactic collective of species and peoples and planets. There’d be classic “go out and do stuff adventures,” but I think I’d also take stuff from the idea behind that MMORPG called “Albion Online” where everything is a player-built economy, and have highly expansive routes you could take for crafting things. Though now that I think about it, that might just be “EVE: Online” but with aliens. So there probably would be a lot more options in terms of alien ships and weapons and parts and all that.

However, the “humans are space orcs thing” would come in a form of one of those crazy expansions and events MMORPGs do. I’d have a sector of this one galaxy be hyper-dangerous, known as the “Dead Sector,” not because it’s lifeless, but because that’s what it does: make you dead. Quickly. A high population of gargantuan interstellar space worms, death worlds, all that jazz. Entering it would yield high resources, if you could make it out alive.

However, in this expansion, would enter THE HUMAN RACE and all the marketing would make them sound like they were weird and foreign and strange. They wouldn’t be playable yet, that would only be unlocked after the next major update, when they’ve really started to proliferate across the galaxies. But the whole “story” of that update would be learning about the humans and their culture, exploring Earth and slowly dawning upon the realization that oh my god these people are fucking insane.

That’s how I’d do it, anyway. It’d probably be fun.

Poison types already had a bad rap before the Rocket Age, despite what many seem to claim. Poison types are widely considered to be an “evil” type, among Dark and Ghost types, for the reason that many species of poison types naturally have “toxic” personalities. These species are considered reclusive, territorial, and in some cases, sadistic, taking enjoyment out of the suffering of their prey or enemies under the influence of poisons, toxins, or venoms.

However, this is a stereotype that has been unfortunately applied to all poison types, regardless of demeanor, especially after the infamous Rocket Age, where the grunts primarily used specific normal and poison type Pokemon, which were known for reproducing easily, or were extremely common at that point in time (Grimer and Muk being prime examples, as many cities at this point in time were struggling with pollution and litter). As a result of this, and several other terrorist organizations to sprout up in the following years, such as Galactic and Flare, poison types gained a horridly bad rap that the public could not shake off.

Despite this, poison types, while often considered difficult and mostly suited for highly skilled trainers, are mostly comprised of loyal Pokemon, if not completely average Pokemon, that simply use poisons, toxins or venoms in their arsenal. For example, one of the most loyal and incredibly beginner-friendly Pokemon is the Nidoran lines. If you bond well to a Nidoran, it will often carry young trainers through at least their first few badges, if not well into the League (there have been quite a few documentations of Indigo Conference participants having Nidokings or Nidoqueens on their rosters).

Another incredibly beginner friendly Pokemon is Gulpin and Swalot. These Pokemon have gelatinous bodies, which are not actually poisonous at all. Instead, their poison comes from their incredibly potent stomach acids, which is one of the highest grade acids on the globe, with a pH of 0.04. Despite this, all you need to win a Gulpin’s loyalty and affection is a steady diet of basically any kind of food or organic substance that tastes remotely good (most of the time, they’re not picky, though they do appreciate better tasting foods). As many have described them, they are a budget Snorlax. Be warned though, while Gulpin are mostly safe, Swalot does upgrade its poisonous capabilities by sweating out excess stomach acid it generates, which can be weaponized.

But the point stands, poison types are incredibly versatile, and do not deserve the reputation they have garnered by human factors. 

motherfucker ate all my crabby cakes

Alright, so. First proper post on this site.

I wanna talk about Pokemon.

I've been working on a Pokemon-based world-building project for about two years now, coming up on three, with the intent to make it more realistic, and explain some of the science behind certain Pokemon or behaviors, or at least providing logical explanations. Parts of it have been taken from the games and the anime, and synthesized into a narrative I feel works. Not to say it doesn't need work in some areas (it does), but that's part of why I share it: to have conversations about it, and get new ideas to fill the gaps.

And in some cases, cutting some things out because I don't like them, and potentially replacing them with something better.

I'm gonna have to admit, a LOT of this has been ripped straight out of (or inspired by) fanfics that I've read. I simply liked their ideas about the world, and added them to my world. I'm not claiming them as my own, they're just cool and I believe what they created was a very good or plausible explanation. If you end up seeing something that you might find familiar, don't judge me.

Where to begin... right, overall story/narrative.

The apocalypse is on its way. No thanks to Mewtwo.

When Mewtwo escaped from the clutches of Giovanni, realizing his manipulation and bringing down the entire hidden Rocket Headquarters and bringing an end to the 30-year Rocket Age, he isolated himself away on New Island, with the purpose of ending humanity via a series of gargantuan hurricanes fully capable of wiping every human civilization off the face of the earth.

He didn't, thankfully, as he was stopped, but there were still consequences. The shockwaves of psychic power used to create the storms echoed across the Earth... reawakening the Legendary Birds.

Cue the Shamouti Incident. More shockwaves. Greenfield. Even more.

But those incidents could be covered up. What couldn't was the Sootopolis Catastrophe.

It was a horrifying blow to the people of the world, to know that at least some Gods did exist, and weren't simply fabrications of the ancient past. The International Pokemon League, or IPL, assembled a press conference to address the fears. They confirmed it: the Gods existed, and have existed for a very long time. A government list was posted of the gods that are confirmed to exist, gods that are likely to exist, gods that are unknown to exist, and gods that certainly do not.

And now, the regions of the world are left to wonder: where will the legendaries reawaken next?

I'll give you a hint, it's not Sinnoh. The dominos that are the echoes of power haven't grown strong enough yet to even attract the gaze of the Creation Trio, let alone Arceus. They'll be the grand finale of the narrative.

Instead, it goes to the richest region in the world, of luxury and extravagance, of ancient architecture and diversity, the melting pot of the Pokemon World:

Kalos.

They're not prepared for what's going to hit them.

We've lost a lot to the onslaught of enshittification but I can think of none more brazen than Discord getting rid of the send button

this was my first pokemon game and it was my childhood, i have not played a better pokemon game since

you bitches had pkmn mystery dungeon, pkmn ranger, xd and gale of darkness, pkmn snap or even that one talk to pikachu game but MY pkmn spinoff was MOTHER FUCKIN POKÉPARK

I never finished it and I don’t even remember if it was even that good- but damn it I played the SHIT out of this game as a kid and it defined a good chunk of my childhood and I will always remember it

Mood for today and every single week that will follow

this guy gets it

Humanity’s Place in Pokemon

Ok, hear me out.

Humans are weak as hell.  Compared to Pokemon, they’ve got no semblance of a chance in a fair, one-on-one fight. Pokemon can breathe fire, or control nature, or shift the earth with merely a thought. Humans? We can… punch, I guess. Kick. And it’s far weaker than any fighting type.

When humans evolved in a world of Pokemon, they needed to find other ways to even the odds. Tools, first. Then makeshift weapons. Then machines. Civilizations sprung up out of necessity, specifically in places where humans could have a chance of surviving: breeding grounds. Fertile areas, full of resources, food, and great places to nest made these little areas less prone to extremely strong Pokemon, places like the Indigo Regions, or Hoenn, Unova, Kalos, etc etc.

And that’s probably it. These little places on the coasts of great continents, carved out of the wilderness with back-breaking effort and so so much time are the only bastions humanity has against the terrifying, powerful depths of whatever lies outside the borders. Crossing the wilds is unthinkable, it’s suicide. The only option for travelling between regions is by sea, or by air (excluding Kanto-Johto). So these regions are all that humanity has. Little islands of safety in a world of unimaginable power and strength.

TL;DR: Humans are survivors, and had to MAKE their place in the Pokemon World, because otherwise they would have gone extinct a LONG time ago. 

sometimes i think about the fact that the name i chose a couple years ago to be the name i'd be known online as (ophion) happens to be shared with a giant, hypermuscular, dad-bod, scaly-ass dragon from some japanese mobile card game and it haunts me at night

Plant Pokemon are somewhat of a contentious subject among scientific communities. Are they a Pokemon, or something else entirely? How does their (and many other grass types) chlorokinesis work? This is still a subject being heavily researched by many top professors and scientists around the globe, though some common theories remain.

1. Plant Pokemon are not sentient flora, but instead are fauna who take on the appearance and attributes of flora. The theory states that sometime in a certain lineage’s ancestry, a line of fauna developed a kind of natural symbiosis with a plant. Over time, the two grew more intertwined, until the two were simply one organism. This theory has incredible merit, as we have multiple cases of flora-fauna symbiosis in nature. The most notable example is the Bulbasaur line, with each new member of the species being given a seed bulb which takes root in the Bulbasaur’s back. The two will then provide energy, minerals, protection, and a variety of other things symbiotically to one another. Thus, Pokemon such as Lilligant are simply Pokemon that have grown to become one Pokemon with their chosen symbiotic partner. It’s been observed in several different autopsies of plant Pokemon that their makeup is a strange mixture of both plant cells and animal cells. Plant cells typically comprise the exteriors of plant Pokemon as well as key appendages such as leaves or vines, while having a few key features of fauna such as nervous systems and digestive systems. 

2. Chlorokinesis is an advanced form of kinesis. It’s been proven that almost all typings have some form of psychic ability. However, more often than not, it is specialized towards a certain element. For example, Fire Pokemon generate heat and fire naturally (more often than not, in some specialized organ), but can manipulate and control it outside of the body using pyrokinesis. However, chlorokinesis does not work the way that other psychic abilities work. Instead of manipulating the already pre-existing substance, which is produced naturally, chlorokinetics instigate extreme, controlled growth in plants, even to the extent of making specific plants grow for specific purposes (ex: leech seed). This could be in their own plant appendages, or naturally existing plants. How this works is unknown, as the energy and minerals have to come from somewhere to instigate such insane rates of cell division and movement, but there are no current explanations for this.

3. All plant Pokemon are both autotrophs and heterotrophs. This theory has the most evidence for it out of all the theories listed, as studies and experiments have been conducted thousands of times across the centuries on Bellsprout in particular (being an ideal test subject for exhibiting both). Bellsprout was observed eating and digesting various meat samples, and later using the highly corrosive acids within the cup to break down the meat samples for protein content. Later, within an hour, it was observed taking large amounts of time to stand in the sun, conducting photosynthesis. Due to this dual nature, most plant Pokemon completely lack respiratory systems, as the oxygen produced as a by-product of photosynthesis can directly be used in cellular respiration, which produces carbon dioxide, and the cycle continues. Plant Pokemon do have stomata in case of an imbalance, but most of the time this is unneeded.

We may not fully understand plant types, or grass-type Pokemon as a whole, but at the very least, it provides plenty of interesting theories and experiments for years to come.