Modern Day Au Where Nix Is So Tired Of Sobel’s Shit That He Writes All His Reports In WordArt Text

Skip: Oh please, you wouldn’t hurt a fly

Shifty: You’re right, because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however; I would maim.

webster is that you

Speirs: People who breathe die, so just don’t!

Speirs: Lip stop worrying about it! I'm fine. It was just a splinter.

Lipton: You were IMPALED!

Speirs: It was a large splinter.

Henry V by the cast of Band of Beards Brothers part two (part one, part three)

Nix: *almost gets shot in the head*

Winters:

pretty much how that scene went

BoB parenting headcanons - the kids are sick

BabeRoe

Normally Doc is very calm about all things medical, he knows how to identify and treat illness and it’s just a normal part of life and nothing to freak out over. This goes right out of the window when it’s one of his kids though.

If one of Doc’s kids starts to so much as sniffle, that’s it, bed rest and chicken soup and he’s checking their temperature once an hour and keeping track of any fluctuations or new symptoms.

He knows he’s being ridiculous and that all kids get colds and it’s good to build up their immune system, but he can’t help but wondering what if? What if this is the time when it’s something serious and it slips by him? He knows all the worst case scenarios and he knows that they’re rare, but rare means it happens to some people.

Babe understands Gene’s worry, he really does

but sending the kids to bed whenever they’re even a little unwell leads to bored, cranky children

And Babe doesn’t want to undermine Gene or make his worry worse, but he can’t just sit by and let the kids be miserable

Babe is a great believer that the most important thing for sick kids in a good distraction

So he will teach the kids all the card games that he knows, and tell them all the best stories, and put on the movie he said they couldn’t see until their next birthday as a treat (there’s nothing wrong with the movie, but Babe spend his childhood sneaking about to watch movies that he was too young for and it made him feel grown up and he wants his kids to have the same experience, except without the nightmares he got from stealing an 18 horror movies from his cousins)

And Gene wants to be annoyed at him for getting the kids excited when they should be resting, but also seeing them having fun makes him worry less

Speirton

You know Lip is the parent that ends up catching whatever his kid has because he is taking care of them but not himself.

He tries to deny it but a few days after the kid starts sneezing he is sneezing too.

He tries to push through and hold things together like normal, because he needs to be able to look after the kid, and b/c Ron is a good parent but Lip knows that he does not want to come home from work to a runny-nose, crying little kid, because nobody likes that

But the next day when he wakes up it’s not because of his alarm, and he checks his clock and oh shit it is past 10am and how did he ever sleep in so late

And he leaps out of bed and goes to check on the kid

But the kid isn’t is bed

And he’s lowkey freaking out,  

but then he goes into the living room and Ron and the kid are curled up on the couch watching cartoons. But not regular cartoons, Ron has linked his computer to the tv and is showing the kid all the classic cartoons

And Lip is like, okay well if you’ve got the kid I’m going to go catch up on the cleaning, because dealing with a sick kid means there’s a stack of dishes by the sink and the laundry basket is overflowing

But then he goes to the kitchen and the dishes are done and the washer and the dryer are both running

And he goes back in the lounge and Speirs is like, “Happy? Now come get under the blanket.”

And Lip doesn’t get under the blanket, b/c he’s thinking of what else needs doing, but then Ron says, “I called into work and said I had to take the day because I was taking care of my sick kid and husband, and you don’t want to make me a liar, so you’re going to get on this couch and let me take care of you.”

And so Lip and the kid spend all day napping on the couch while Ron brings them crackers and tea and medicine

And the next day Lip wakes up and for the first time in days his head doesn’t feel stuffy and he can breathe through his nose again, and he can’t help but say that it’s the fastest he’s ever got over being sick.

Ron is smug.

LuzToye

This kid. This kid raised by the two of them is so cheerful and so tough and is no way going to miss the fieldtrip they’ve been looking forward to for months just because they’re just *cough cough* a little bit *sneeze* sick. They’ll wear a sweater! It’s the zoo! There’s no such thing as too sick for the zoo.

And Joe and George look at one another and sigh.

One of them is going to have to be the mean-dad.

“Look, sweetheart,” Joe says, “You can go to the zoo some other time.”

And this kid can tough out sickness, but the thought of missing the trip has their lip wobbling and their eyes are getting all watery

And Joe is shooting George these sideways looks, because their kid about to cry and Joe has been the one to break the bad news and now it’s George’s time to step up b/c crying cannot happen okay it’s just can’t

“Yeah, you can’t go today,” George says, “Because we’re having an party.”

And the kid looks up, still all teary but with a little hopeful smile. “Party?”

“Yep! An ice-cream pyjama party just for the three of us. And a movie marathon. With the sing along DVDs.”

And the kid perks up at that, and says, “I’ll get the blankets,” and runs out. Because family singing and icecream is even cooler than the zoo.“

"Was that really the best thing you can think of?” Joe asks.

George sticks out his tounge. “Next time I’m gonna say disneyland.”

Webgott

So Web is stay at home dad, because writing means he can work from home and set his own hours.

The hours Web & the kid keep are good hours with a long lie in every morning.

(Lieb, who leaves for work at the crack of dawn, wonders how he ended up in a family with such layabouts.)

But this means that Lieb is long gone in his cab by the time Web wakes up and realises that the kid has a fever

And Lieb doesn’t use his phone while driving so Web has no way to contact him.

So it’s just Web and this sick little one, and Web doesn’t know what to do because this has never happened before.

He googles it, but the results just scare and confuse him.

And he’s panicking b/c he knew in his head that this was a thing he would have to deal with when having a kid but he was not prepared for the reality, because his baby is all tired and sad and feverish and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

So he does the only sensible thing.

He calls Lieb’s mom.

Mama Liebgott will know what to do.

When Joe gets home from work the kid is cheerfully practising their reading with Web, with no sign of any problems

Joe sniffs the air

“Is that my mom’s matzo ball soup?” It’s a recipe that has been passed down since Joe’s great-grandma and he’d recognise it anywhere.

And Web looks up from the book and says, “It’s like magic.”

And Joe knows that recipe is the one his mom always used to make him when he was sick, and honestly the scene in the living room is just a little too perfect for him not to be suspicious, but the kid looks fine and Web looks fine, so he’s not worried.

He does call his mom later though.

“You gave Webster the secret family recipe…”

“Of course I did. He gave me my first grandbaby.”

“What? I don’t get any of the credit for my own kid?”

throwing one down for my homie beyb-😩✊

Ronald “Ron” Speirs

The Real Ronald Speirs

Ronald Charles Speirs was born April 20, 1920 in Edinburg, Scotland to Robert and Martha Speirs. Hitler was also born on April 20, a few years earlier. Speirs knew this fact and he liked to joke about it later in life. His father was a Scottish Engineer. Speirs and his family moved to the United States during the Great Depression. According to Ancestry, he had an older sister Dorothy and an older brother Robert.

 He grew up in Boston, attended high school there, took drill during school and Citizens Military Training Camps during the summers. He graduated in 1938. Not much is known about his childhood.

He was originally drafted but was given two months to finish extension courses. He was on active duty at Camp Shelby, Mississippi. He volunteered for the Airborne. Speirs was one of the original Toccoa men under Sobel. 

When Easy traveled to England, Speirs traveled to Winchester to set up a camp for another Infantry division. There he met a British widow serving with the British Army’s Auxiliary Territorial Service division. They were married and had a son, Robert, soon after.

The woman’s husband had been presumed dead after disappearance. He was actually being held as a POW. He showed up towards the end of the war. It was eventually decided that she and Speirs would split up and she would return to her former husband. During the HBO, Speirs is seen rummaging through loot to send back to his wife and son. This seems to be accurate, according to other veterans. Speirs kept contact with his son throughout his life. His son would eventually become a major in the Royal Green Jackets Regiment. Speirs would visit his son and his three grandchildren in England later on in life.

Speirs jumped into Normandy with D Company on D-Day. His company would serve heavy losses. Speirs was injured in the face and knee by a grenade. He was taken back to England to recover from his injuries before returning to his unit before they jumped into Holland.

In Holland, Speirs was the Intelligence officer for Colonel Robert Strayer and his battalion. One night, Speirs had the Neder Rhine by himself to locate where the enemy was. He was spotted and the Germans opened fire on him. He dove into the water but had been struck by a bullet in his butt (what would become known as the million-dollar wound). He swam back to shore and was later found, wounded and too exhausted to move from the shore. He brought back critical information and was given the Silver Star for his mission.

He was sent to recover once again and later rejoined Easy in France before Battle of the Bulge. He wrote a letter to Stephen Ambrose about his experience in Bastogne. “There had been an attack through the trees before we arrived and they caught a number of Germans. The bodies were frozen, so there was no stench. I turned one over, an artillery forward observer, and found an excellent pair of binoculars around his neck…….We had one firefight where a platoon sergeant was killed next to me…..He fell into my arms, but was dead. There was nothing I could do for him.” In another letter to Winters, Speirs writes: “He fell in my arms without a word, probably feeling nothing. Those are the guys I think about 50 years later- why them and not me?”

In Foy, Easy company was under the command of Captain Dike Dike was considered to be similar to Sobel, but not as tough. He had reportedly “scurried off like a scared rabbit” after the blasts that took Guarnere and Toye started. Dike was the man to be leading the assault across an open field to face the Germans. Winters went through all of his instructions once more and Easy moved out under a covering fire that left them covered in heavy smoke.

Their attack was soon dissolving into chaos. Dike froze behind haystacks and was refusing to lead. Winters, aware of the risk of putting Dike in charge, had decided to watch their assault. Speirs was next to him for an unknown reason, watching this all go to chaos. Winters, angrily grabbed his gun, and declared “I’m going!” to seize control of Easy once more. He had barely moved when he whirled around and instead told Speirs to “take over that company and relieve Dike and take that attack on in.” 

Winters had not prepared to pick Speirs, he just happened to be at the right place at the right time. Winters later recalled he was glad it was Speirs, who he respected as a combat leader. Winters had heard the rumors of Speirs and his killer instincts but Dike needed to be removed. 

Speirs raced off to aid Easy Company. He reached the haystack, shouted at Dike, and took command of Easy. Speirs then raced across open area to locate Easy’s other flank and reorganize them. Germans opened fire on him as he crossed there lines. Once he arranged the company, he raced back through the German lines. 

Regarding his personality, many rumors flew about Speirs and his violence. Winters regarded him as a killer, Malarkey didn’t like him much because of how violent he could get, and he soon developed a nickname “Killer”. 

Most of the Easy Vets respected him as a combat leader. Many of the men feared Speirs. Although he was respected, it is said some men didn’t like his strict rules and discipline He was dedicated to doing the right thing and was often fearless in the heat of battle. Speirs wrote in a letter to Winters in 1992 that he didn’t expect to survive the war, so that might have fueled his actions as well. 

The stories of Speirs’ and his violent streak toward his own men. It was rumored he shot a sergeant because he was drunk. While Speirs did not deny shooting the man, Winters later wrote that the shooting went beyond being drunk. The sergeant had ignored a command from Speirs to halt twice. The men were under heavy fire near Saint Côme-du-Mont. Orders were to halt due an artillery attack planned on the city where German were. The men were to follow up the artillery attack. When the sergeant didn’t stop, he was risking the lives of the men. Speirs took out his gun and shot the man. Some veterans told that the sergeant had even threatened Speirs with his gun drawn.The man died the the next day in battle so no official report could be carried out. 

One of the most famous stories following his name, there was the incident of Speirs and the POWs on D-Day. There were no eyewitnesses that would confirm the story. Many stories like this have been recorded but it is not sure if Speirs was a part of these numbers for certain. 

After the battle of Foy, “Sparky” Speirs remained in command of Easy until the end of the war. He was the longest commanding officer of Easy. One of the memories from Winters was of Speirs in Berchtesgaden, taking one of Hitler’s staff cars with the bullet-proof windows for a joy ride.

When the war ended, Speirs continued to serve with the Airborne, just not the 101st. He was placed with 187th Airborne Regimental Combat Team during his service in Korea. He commanded a rifle company during a jump in Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea. 

After the Korean War ended, Speirs served at Fort Bragg, North Carolina as a military secretary for the 18th Airborne Corps Commander Major General Joseph Cleland. 

In 1956, Speirs learned Russian in California before being assigned to Potsdam, East Germany to work as a liaison officer with the Soviet Army. He later became the US governor of Spandau Prison in Berlin in 1958. Spandau held many Nazi war criminals, including Rudolf Hess, Hitler’s deputy. Hess and Speirs would meet almost daily, seemingly gaining a respect for each other.  Not much was said about his duties in the Korean War, with the Soviets, or in Spandau. Speirs would never talk much about these experiences. 

In 1962, Speirs was a training officer in Laos, Southeast Asia, with a government mission with the Royal Lao Army. Finally, Speirs worked in the Pentagon as a plans officer until he retired with the rank of lieutenant colonel in 1964.

Around 1984, Speirs met a lady named Eloise. She had recently been widowed and her three children lived far away from her home California. She met Speirs at a singles square dance and in November 1987, they were married. Her son, Marv, did not know Speirs well at first but grew to love his step-father after the couple started spending more time in Montana, where he lived. Marv’s brother and sister had children, along with six children with his wife, leaving Speirs to become a grandfather and great-grandfather eventually. His grandchildren would take him on walks, attack him with hugs, and he would do whatever they wanted. 

His family did not know the details of his long military career and he would blame it on his failing memory. It was said that while his later actions blurred together, World War 2 would forever last in his mind. 

Speirs traveled to the premiere of Band of Brothers in France with his wife in 2001. Speirs wasn’t planning on going but his wife told him she was going with or without him, and he chose to go. When reading about how his actions would be displayed in the show and if he was worried, Speirs replied, “I’m eighty-one years old, what can they do to me now?”

This photo was the first time Winters and Speirs had seen each other in fifty-five years. 

After the event, Speirs started opening up more about his wartime experiences. He even met his granddaughter’s husband, a cadet at West Point who had taken an interest in Speirs. Within their one hour talk, Speirs opened up more about his experiences than he ever had. Perhaps it was to share the experience with someone who was just starting a military career, we may not know why he shared so much but Speirs was able to recall a lot more than his memory knew he had. 

Sadly, even legends come to an end. Speirs last years were rough and he struggled with health issues. He was not officially diagnosed but it is believed he died of Alzheimer’s. His last months were painful to everyone and the family was on call 24/7 to care for him. 

Speirs died April 11, 2007. He was almost eighty-seven years old.