Webster Mouth Appreciation.

Burton “Pat” Paul Christenson

The resident artist of Easy Company, a small but important role.

The Real Christenson:

So there’s a few different sources saying when he was born. On official records in Ancestry, it says he was born July 23, 1922. In the book by Marcus Brotherton, he says August 24, 1922. I’d go with the official date recorded by not only his family but the government….but that’s just me.

Burton Paul Christenson was born in 1922 in Oakland, California. As a child he was never called Burton, he was called Pat (a self given nickname) or Chris.

He was talented, even as a kid. He played piano, sang, and drew throughout his life. He never took a professional art class, just a few college courses. As a teenager, he made airplane models out of wood. His friends recall Pat was a perfectionist about his airplanes and if one wasn’t exactly perfect, it was burned and flown.

With his creative side, he also had an adventurous side. At age 13, Pat jumped off his roof with an umbrella to see if it would slow his fall. Needless to say, he never did that again. He learned archery after watching Robin Hood and would read Robin Hood to his younger cousins.

He was fairly athletic, even using his talents to help him out in that area of his life. He made his own weights with lead and flower pots. He could walk on his hands, box, and loved push-ups.

Pat graduated from high school at Castlemont. Before the war, he worked in a telephone company. He enlisted at the age of 20, after visiting a recruiter during a lunch break. They saw the ad for the Paratroopers and were convinced it was the only way to go. He did not want to be the average man in the Army, he wanted to be the best of the best.

Pat was always up for a challenge and competition and proving his worth with Easy was his goal when he enlisted.

When he started training, he wrote that, at first, “the majority of men had little conception of Army life and what was expected of them.” Mostly, “too many men in our ranks were unsuited for the Parachute Infantry,”

Pat soon was the toughest man in Toccoa. He held the physical-fitness record in Toccoa, an accomplishment that Winters confirmed in a letter to his family. The scene where Pat drinks water while running Currahee, didn’t actually happen to him, it happened to another person but it was shown to be Christenson.

Pat kept a photo of his younger cousin Gary (the two were close throughout most of their life) tucked into his helmet during jump school. When he made his qualifying jump, he managed to get an extra pair of jump wings and sent them back to Gary. He told Gary he was now a qualified jumper and Gary became the envy of his school with his fancy jump wings.

When Easy was sent to Alderbourne, England, Pat was with them. They continued to train and Pat continued to write about his experiences, saying, “Our training revolved around how to fight every conceivable way, and often, large groups of men gathered at the local pub.”

Pat was assigned to teach unarmed combat to others due to fear of an enemy invasion. Winters picked three easy men, all of them were privates. To gain respect from their trainees, Winters told them to borrow sergeants uniforms for their teaching. They traveled to the other units and trained them in hand-to-hand combat for days. During this time his reputation as the toughest man of Easy only grew. He wrote: “After a period of time, a group came to me and exclaimed, ‘Sergeant, no one can get out of this guy’s hold. If this stuff works, show us how you’d get away from him.’ There, standing in the middle of the group, was a great big 300-pounder with a smile from ear to ear. I deliberately paused, directed a cold stare at him, then approached quickly and said, ‘Make your move.’ As soon as I felt his arms around me I immediately collapsed my legs and threw my arms over my head. I slipped out of his grasp and found the back of his neck with my hands. His body was now bent over my back. I jerked hard on the back of his neck. His body, off balance, came flying over my shoulder and struck the ground with a violent thud. Swiftly, I drove my knee into his neck. I had never executed that move as well before or since. The crowd roared with approval. Then and there, to that group, I was untouchable.”

Pat was in the same plane as Richard Winters on their jump into Normandy. Like most of them, Pat had a rough ride down. Pat was a machine gunner at the time and lost the tripod for the gun during the jump, along with most of his other supplies. He also spotted a German firing an antiaircraft gun as he landed, but the German did not spot him (he was firing at another paratrooper) and Pat lived to tell the tale after safely landing in an apple tree.

When he went for cover, he landed on a dead American soldier. The dead man made a noise as air escaped his lungs and terrified poor Pat. What a helluva way to start the war?

Pat stayed in cover for a while, sensing movement, he gave the signal with the cricket. (Because why would you say flash when you’re surrounded by Germans and they might actually shoot you if they don’t know that language) When no response came, Pat raised to shoot the figure in front of him. The shadowy figure yelled out, “For Christ-sake, don’t shoot.” It was a boy named Woodrow Runner, Pat’s assistant gunner. He had lost part of his cricket and couldn’t send the signal.

Pat spent the rest of his Normandy campaign as a grenadier. He described it as one small skirmish after the other.

Pat made the jump into Holland on September 17, 1944. Pat considered this jump to be like a “parade ground jump”. By this time, Pat had become a squad leader and replacements were making their first jump.  Easy liberated the town of Eindhoven and made their way to Nuenen. Pat  wrote extensively about the skirmish in Nuenen. 

When two Germans fired at Pat from their location in a second story window, Pat raised his Thompson at them and fired. The gun did not fire, but the Germans were still firing at him. Pat realized that his gun had been put together wrong and he was exposed in an open field. Pat managed to fix his gun, out in the open, and get it placed back together properly. The Germans did not decide to stick around for the gun to work and ran. 

Pat recalls an event that happened shortly after, “The last house had an open field next to it. I parted the foliage of the hedge that separated the field from the house. I must have been spotted by a German machine gunner. Before he could fire, I pushed through the hedge and dropped into a ditch just on the other side. Robert Van Klinken, one of my riflemen, was following me closely. [Van Klinken] peered through the same opening as I had, just as the German machine gunner depressed the trigger. Van Klinken was hit with three bullets.”

Pat managed to grab Van Klinken, who was hit in the groin and chest, and dragged him into the ditch. Then men in the ditch were under heavy fire from the Germans. Pat waited until orders from Peacock, who was not sure what to do. They eventually called a withdrawal and manged to escape under fire. ““‘Chris, I’m not sure what to do,’ [Peacock said.] “‘Let’s withdraw—now!’ I said. He hesitated. ‘Who’s going to start the withdrawal?’ (The Germans were firing a machine gun in the path of our only escape route.)I said to the men around me to move to the rear in two’s and keep spread out. The men began to move. All got clear of the house. Peacock dashed across the danger area and I was close behind him. We ran as fast as we could for several hundred yards when we finally ran into the rest of E Company. We mounted the rest of the British tanks and rode back to Eindhoven.” 

Pat lost his friends Van Klinken and Bill Dukeman during the fight at Nuenen. 

Like every member of Easy, Bastogne held no good memories for Pat. On December 18, 1944, Easy left France (where they were having a slight break beforehand) and traveled to Bastogne, Belgium. Easy arrived on the 19th, dug their foxholes, and prepared for the worst. 

Snow began to fall on December 21 and the temperatures only got worse as the days carried on. Pat only writes once more about Bastogne, on December 23, 1944: “The blackness of the early morning surrendered to the new dawn. It was cold and quiet, and snow had fallen intermittently [throughout] the night. The flicker of a small fire could be seen in the rear toward the first platoon CP [command post]. [The fire] was well under control, for there was no tell-tale smoke that a German artillery observer could see. [If there had been smoke,] that area would have been shelled or mortared immediately. The early morning hours passed with only the sound of sporadic small arms fire to our left flank and occasional mortar fire a great distance away.”

 While Pat did not write about Bastogne, he drew about Bastogne.  One drawing shows a man’s leg exploding, being hit from mortar fire. Toye and Guarnere both lost their legs to mortar fire in January and Pat drew the picture in their honor. Other drawings include a jeep being hit by a mortar blast, patrols, tank battles, mortar fire, and hiking toward town. 

Below is a drawing by Pat (credit to Marcus Brotherton): 

Pat was injured a few times at Bastogne. Pat was injured as he was in his foxhole, his arm outside the hole. He heard the shrapnel coming, but was too sleep deprived to bother to move his arm. He was hit in the arm. Afterwards, he didn’t put in for a Purple Heart because ‘Van Klinken and Dukeman were killed, it was nothing’. When Bastogne was coming to a close, his feet froze and he was evacuated and sent to the hospital. When he arrived to the hospital, Pat wanted to take a bath but was told not to because of his frozen feet. Pat didn’t want to get into the hospital bed while he was still dirty, so he took one anyways.

Pat returned to Easy before they took Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest and finished the war off with Easy. 

Pat returned home in the fall of 1945, now a Tech Sergeant by the war’s end. His first night home, he talked about war, mostly focused on being glad it was over. Gary, his cousin, remembered that first night and told about how Pat had been affected by the war, “ Funny thing was, he looked up at the ceiling inside his parents’ house and said, “Wonder if a mortar could go through this.” Pat wanted to get on with life, same as the rest of the guys. A few evenings later, the family held a big dinner celebration.” 

Pat went back to work soon after getting home, back to the telephone company he’d been with before the war began. He was not happy at that job, wanting to instead be an artist or horticulturalist. Pat was also big into physical fitness and eventually started a side job where he opened one of the first public gymnasiums in Oakland, California. Pat got a third job in landscaping and worked on that from 1967 to 1987. 

Pat married Mary Jo Bonham in 1947. They had three children, all sons, and moved into a large house near Oakland. The house had a large yard, which Pat decorated with a Japanese garden and a deck. Pat loved it so much, he slept outside during the summer.

Like most of Easy, the war followed Pat home. His son, Chris, said in an interview, “My father was probably like many of the fellows who came back. He was haunted by a lot of his war experiences. My room was adjacent to the back yard. I’d have the window open and remember hearing him in the night, many times. He had put stone pathways in the backyard, and I’d hear him walking on the pathways at two or three o’clock in morning. Afraid, I’d go to my mother. ‘Your father’s having funny feelings,’ she said. That was how she put it.”

Mary Jo passed away in 1997, three months after being diagnosed with liver cancer. She was 69 at the time. While her sudden death took many for surprise, it destroyed Pat. He stopped writing and no longer cared about life. There was no purpose left for Pat and grief consumed him.Pat’s own health began to falter. He had an small stroke and was left a changed man. Pat became slow, unresponsive, and he spiraled downwards from there. He was put into a hospital near one of his sons, Paul Jr. 

During his time in the hospital, Pat was still tough as he was during the war. He even got to the point of needing to be restrained so he could not punch the staff. But his brain was still “rewired” and he was losing track of the day. He was put into an  Alzheimer’s facility after a short time in the hospital. His brain would sometimes revert back to his days with Easy. One event that came to his son’s mind was when his dad said: “’Well, [Sergeant Don] Malarkey’s sitting over there. I just told him he had outpost duty.’ I’d say, ‘That’s not Malarkey.’ He’d say emphatically, ‘Of course it is.’”

Then, magically, his brain just rewired itself again. One day, he told his son he was fine and he needed to go home. And it turned out, he was perfectly fine. He was even able to take his driver’s test again and passed it. Then Pat was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had it removed and was just fine afterwards. But even Pat had his limits. 

Pat fell in his backyard, broke his arm and messed up his leg. His son Tim paid for him to have a caregiver live with him from there on. Pat was diagnosed with lung cancer, most likely due to his smoking habits that started with the war. Pat was offered surgery to remove the cancer, but refused after hearing he might end up on a ventilator. ““I don’t want to go out like that,” Pat said. “Let the cards fall where they may.”

Pat fell into a coma after a high fever. He died on  December 15, 1999. Pat passed away in his home, with his three sons by his side. 

When Guarnere told Winters that Pat had passed away, Winters wrote to the family: ““I always took pride in having my best looking man out front carrying the guidon [a small flag carried for marking, signaling or identification] for reviews by dignitaries. And that man, or course, was always Pat, who, with his clean-cut good looks and wide shoulders, proudly carried the Company E guidon.“When it came time for the big jump in Normandy, I wanted my best, most dependable man right behind me, that man was Pat again.””

BoB parenting headcanons - the kids are sick

BabeRoe

Normally Doc is very calm about all things medical, he knows how to identify and treat illness and it’s just a normal part of life and nothing to freak out over. This goes right out of the window when it’s one of his kids though.

If one of Doc’s kids starts to so much as sniffle, that’s it, bed rest and chicken soup and he’s checking their temperature once an hour and keeping track of any fluctuations or new symptoms.

He knows he’s being ridiculous and that all kids get colds and it’s good to build up their immune system, but he can’t help but wondering what if? What if this is the time when it’s something serious and it slips by him? He knows all the worst case scenarios and he knows that they’re rare, but rare means it happens to some people.

Babe understands Gene’s worry, he really does

but sending the kids to bed whenever they’re even a little unwell leads to bored, cranky children

And Babe doesn’t want to undermine Gene or make his worry worse, but he can’t just sit by and let the kids be miserable

Babe is a great believer that the most important thing for sick kids in a good distraction

So he will teach the kids all the card games that he knows, and tell them all the best stories, and put on the movie he said they couldn’t see until their next birthday as a treat (there’s nothing wrong with the movie, but Babe spend his childhood sneaking about to watch movies that he was too young for and it made him feel grown up and he wants his kids to have the same experience, except without the nightmares he got from stealing an 18 horror movies from his cousins)

And Gene wants to be annoyed at him for getting the kids excited when they should be resting, but also seeing them having fun makes him worry less

Speirton

You know Lip is the parent that ends up catching whatever his kid has because he is taking care of them but not himself.

He tries to deny it but a few days after the kid starts sneezing he is sneezing too.

He tries to push through and hold things together like normal, because he needs to be able to look after the kid, and b/c Ron is a good parent but Lip knows that he does not want to come home from work to a runny-nose, crying little kid, because nobody likes that

But the next day when he wakes up it’s not because of his alarm, and he checks his clock and oh shit it is past 10am and how did he ever sleep in so late

And he leaps out of bed and goes to check on the kid

But the kid isn’t is bed

And he’s lowkey freaking out,  

but then he goes into the living room and Ron and the kid are curled up on the couch watching cartoons. But not regular cartoons, Ron has linked his computer to the tv and is showing the kid all the classic cartoons

And Lip is like, okay well if you’ve got the kid I’m going to go catch up on the cleaning, because dealing with a sick kid means there’s a stack of dishes by the sink and the laundry basket is overflowing

But then he goes to the kitchen and the dishes are done and the washer and the dryer are both running

And he goes back in the lounge and Speirs is like, “Happy? Now come get under the blanket.”

And Lip doesn’t get under the blanket, b/c he’s thinking of what else needs doing, but then Ron says, “I called into work and said I had to take the day because I was taking care of my sick kid and husband, and you don’t want to make me a liar, so you’re going to get on this couch and let me take care of you.”

And so Lip and the kid spend all day napping on the couch while Ron brings them crackers and tea and medicine

And the next day Lip wakes up and for the first time in days his head doesn’t feel stuffy and he can breathe through his nose again, and he can’t help but say that it’s the fastest he’s ever got over being sick.

Ron is smug.

LuzToye

This kid. This kid raised by the two of them is so cheerful and so tough and is no way going to miss the fieldtrip they’ve been looking forward to for months just because they’re just *cough cough* a little bit *sneeze* sick. They’ll wear a sweater! It’s the zoo! There’s no such thing as too sick for the zoo.

And Joe and George look at one another and sigh.

One of them is going to have to be the mean-dad.

“Look, sweetheart,” Joe says, “You can go to the zoo some other time.”

And this kid can tough out sickness, but the thought of missing the trip has their lip wobbling and their eyes are getting all watery

And Joe is shooting George these sideways looks, because their kid about to cry and Joe has been the one to break the bad news and now it’s George’s time to step up b/c crying cannot happen okay it’s just can’t

“Yeah, you can’t go today,” George says, “Because we’re having an party.”

And the kid looks up, still all teary but with a little hopeful smile. “Party?”

“Yep! An ice-cream pyjama party just for the three of us. And a movie marathon. With the sing along DVDs.”

And the kid perks up at that, and says, “I’ll get the blankets,” and runs out. Because family singing and icecream is even cooler than the zoo.“

"Was that really the best thing you can think of?” Joe asks.

George sticks out his tounge. “Next time I’m gonna say disneyland.”

Webgott

So Web is stay at home dad, because writing means he can work from home and set his own hours.

The hours Web & the kid keep are good hours with a long lie in every morning.

(Lieb, who leaves for work at the crack of dawn, wonders how he ended up in a family with such layabouts.)

But this means that Lieb is long gone in his cab by the time Web wakes up and realises that the kid has a fever

And Lieb doesn’t use his phone while driving so Web has no way to contact him.

So it’s just Web and this sick little one, and Web doesn’t know what to do because this has never happened before.

He googles it, but the results just scare and confuse him.

And he’s panicking b/c he knew in his head that this was a thing he would have to deal with when having a kid but he was not prepared for the reality, because his baby is all tired and sad and feverish and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

So he does the only sensible thing.

He calls Lieb’s mom.

Mama Liebgott will know what to do.

When Joe gets home from work the kid is cheerfully practising their reading with Web, with no sign of any problems

Joe sniffs the air

“Is that my mom’s matzo ball soup?” It’s a recipe that has been passed down since Joe’s great-grandma and he’d recognise it anywhere.

And Web looks up from the book and says, “It’s like magic.”

And Joe knows that recipe is the one his mom always used to make him when he was sick, and honestly the scene in the living room is just a little too perfect for him not to be suspicious, but the kid looks fine and Web looks fine, so he’s not worried.

He does call his mom later though.

“You gave Webster the secret family recipe…”

“Of course I did. He gave me my first grandbaby.”

“What? I don’t get any of the credit for my own kid?”

Luz: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Toye: No, I said “George don’t lick the swing set"  and you said  "Don’t tell me what to do Joe". And then you licked the swing set.

Luz: *says something stupid/annoying*

Toye: That’s it

Toye: I’m breaking up with you

Luz, grinning: You say as you continue to lay your head in my lap

Toye, glaring up at Luz from his lap: Shut the fuck up

Malarkey: I have 7 empty notebooks and no idea what to put in them, any suggestions?

Perconte: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I am taking suggestions from anyone, except you

Muck: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I'm taking suggestions from anyone, except from the two of you

Luz: Put spaghetti in them

Malarkey: I am no longer taking suggestions

How about Speirs/Webster and Speirs/Winters for the ship game?:)

You got it! 😊 Speirs/Webster = 1 and Speirs/Winters = 2

Who digs through the toy bin at thrift stories

Neither of them have ever really gone through the toy bin. Although, one day Webster spotted a really cool shark diving playset (the little boat came with a shark diving cage and everything!) and ever since then he sort of eyeballs the toy bin as a sort of quick scan for more goodies as he walks by.

If Speirs and Winters are at the thrift store, they`re after one thing - furniture. They both like to work with their hands and they find it deeply satisfying to find furniture (or other items) that they can fix up and make their own. You could say the furniture section is their toy bin.

Who gives better hugs

Webster. I mean, look at that soft Disney prince looking boy and tell me he doesn`t give the softest, most full-of-love hugs!

Winters. Hugs from Winters are one of the most comforting things on planet earth. If you could somehow bottle that feeling and sell it, you'd be rich.

(I`m sorry, Speirs loses on both counts here. Hugs from Speirs are too quick and too far between to win. But when he does hug? He gives the other person a damn good squeeze - albeit a quick one)

Who does absolutely nothing on a day off

If Webster can spend a whole day with his face buried in a book, he will. Speirs prefers to be productive - he`s a man that likes to feel accomplished. It works out well between them because Speirs is very good at finding a project to do on his own, leaving Webster free to devour as many words as he can.

As said above, Speirs and Winters both like to work with their hands. Restoring and fixing old furniture is a big time de-stresser for both of them. They can easily spend the entire weekend in the garage, in companionable silence, working away on their latest project and consider it an incredibly relaxing weekend. However, if either of them is going to have a “lazy day” it will probably be Winters. Winters would be someone who is content relaxing in his backyard, a book or crossword puzzle in his hand (and having an occasional nap too).

Who prefers gold and who prefers silver

Speirs has no preference - he`ll take whatever he can lay his hands on.

Webster and Winters both have a preference for gold.

Who looks better in stripes

Neither of Webster nor Speirs wear stripes. It isn`t really either of their styles. But if forced to wear stripes? Speirs is probably going to look best in them.

Winters! I know I`ve said it before but I wish I could find this picture of Damian Lewis in a striped shirt that I know I`ve seen before because he looked good. (Unless I`ve just imagined said picture?? It`s possible) Either way, he can rock the stripes.

Who wears “dad hats”

Both Webster and Speirs wear dad hats. And they look cute in them too.

Winters does not wear dad hats. He`s not really a fan of hats in general to be honest. 

Who excessively quotes shows or movies

Out of all 3 of the people involved in this ask, Webster is the only one who quotes shows/movies. He doesn`t do it excessively but every once in a while, if the situation calls for it, Webster can repeat word for word almost every line of his favorite movies. It`s actually quite impressive how much he has perfectly memorized. 

Who saves everything because “we could use it for something someday”

Webster is a practical person. He saves only what could absolutely be necessary but he doesn`t like much clutter. Speirs is your basic human sized magpie. He`s always bringing trinkets home because they`re “neat” - practicality be damned.

Like I just said, Speirs has stuff. He collects all kinds of odds and ends because they interest him. WInters collects practical things that always end up coming in handy down the line. He has an oddly accurate knack for knowing what might be useful in the future.

Who piles on the blankets

Webster loves cuddling in to a pile of blankets. If he had an aesthetic, it might be called something like “cozy academia”. Speirs tolerates, but doesn't participate in, Webster`s blanket-fest.

Winters and Speirs are both efficient people when it comes to blankets. They like to get one real good blanket instead of having a bunch of them. Sure, it can be expensive, but they know quality is worth it.

Who drowns everything in chocolate

Webster likes any kind of chocolate but he`s not someone who would go out of his way for chocolate or eat it all the time. Speirs isn`t that kind of person either and he only really eats chocolate with nuts in it. Or chocolate pretzels. Speirs needs the sweetness balanced with some salt.

I maintain that Winters has a sweet tooth that mostly expresses itself in his year-round hot chocolate habit. It`s basically like his one vice. Speirs gets a kick out of it and always makes sure there`s hot chocolate mix in the house. He even buys it in bulk sometimes in the winter because it can get a bit hard to find in the summer months.

webster is that you

Doc Roe really be sliding into other peoples’ foxholes without knocking like : “what’s good, y’all lookin busted af, what we cookin, yo feet whack, gimme morphine, vibes are off, where’s the sizzuhs, what’s the WiFi password?”

Name: Emily

Nickname: Em and Emma

Zodiac: Aquarius ♒

Height: 5'11"

Languages: English, German, a little French, Japanese and Italien

Nationality: American

Favorite Season: Spring and Autumn

Favorite Flower: Lavender

Favorite Scent: After it rains

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Animal: Cat

Favorite Fictional Character:

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Both coffee and tea

Average Sleep: 5-8 hours

Cat or Dog: BOTH

Blankets: 1 in the summer and 3 in the winter

Dream Trip: Canada, Greece, Italy, basically anywhere

Blog established: January 2020

Followers: 53

Random fact about me: I draw a lot

@sunnyshifty @softliebgott @baberoeeee @speirtons

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 people you want to get to know better

tagged by @pjsdimples thank u!! 💞

name: jen

nickname: well jen is a nickname I suppose since my actual name is jennifer, but I go by jenni too 

zodiac: gemini

height: 5’2”

languages: only english! I did german and irish in school but I remember literally 0 lmao

nationality: irish

favorite season: spring

favorite flower: do succulents and cacti count? because I’m obsessed with them lmao

favorite scent: citrus, or vanilla

favorite color: blue

favorite animal: cats

favorite fictional character: I have an unending list, but the ones I’m on rn are eddie kaspbrak and jaskier from the witcher

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee

average sleep: I try to get around 7-8, but I’m useless on anything less than 5

dog or cat: cat

blankets: just one duvet

dream trip: cuba, or new zealand

blog established: 2019

followers: 84

random fact about me: I’m left handed

tagging: @ransonepj @sunnygreys @countingpaths @harry-strickland @speelberg @speirsx @jalapeno-peaches-andhersheybars @genes-heffron @blenalela @itstheheebiejeebies @caffeinated-fan and I don’t know 20 people lmao 

our vain boi ron does the 10-step korean skincare routine in the moring and in the evening religiously. his bathroom is very spartan and modern in cool colours but if you were to open (which would never happen, there are traps) the mirror cabinet there, you would see rows upon rows of colorful cutesy korean products with smiling pandas. no one is allowed to enter that room. speirs's skin is glorious and no one knows HOW!?

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ASK AND IT HAS SAT HERE FOR MONTHS!

Yes. 1000%. Speirs spends more on his skin and hair than some people make in 3 months. He imports directly. He can read Korean. 

No one knows.

No one will ever know. 

Just like no one knows about his sneaker collection or the sheer price tag on his watches.