“Of Course Not. That Would Be Really Boring And Unrealistic,” She Agreed With A Small Shake Of Her

"Not all of them, no. I guess I bit off more than I could chew. Thought I would save myself a few library trips, you know. Didn't really think what would happen when I had to return all of them." She had always been bit of a book hoarder, most comfortable when she knew the information she might need was within arm's reach, but she had previously also been able to take pride in being a fast, motivated reader with the ability to get lost in text even if she wasn't particularly interested in the subject. She had tried to get back to that routine, often re-reading books or research papers she had already deemed fascinating in one way or another, but the results had been less than satisfactory. She knew talking about it with someone might ease the shame, but unfortuntaly Zahra had never great at that. Still, she appreciated this little chat with Julia, especially since it allowed her to gush about her beloved cat. "I have to admit if I already got a cat stroller for her but I am still trying to figure out if I'm confident enough to take it out for a spin. Might garner some weird looks."

Her head tilted to the side as Julia explained what she was looking for. "Oh? I see. I'm not doing anything at the moment if you need help finding some books," she offered, hopeful to pass a few minutes with a clear goal in mind. "It sounds interesting. I'm sure you'll do great."

“You didn’t read them?” Julia had a surprised look on her face but she really shouldn’t be because that was the pot very much calling the kettle black. The amount of books she’d borrowed from libraries in the past but not even opened was numerous, and it wasn’t because she didn’t have good intentions when she got them. Simply that life tended to get in the way, especially if they were fiction books rather than something attributed to medicine or something she was specifically working on. Sensing the uncertainty coming from her she nodded in agreement instead of prying further, giving the other a small smile. “I’m sure - I head that is quite common among writers.” She doubted parroting that would be of any reassurance but it happened anyway. “Would you look at that, I think we’ve decided what your next purchase is going to be. Some call it a grocery bag, you call it a Circe bag. It’s flexible for ones needs.” 

A shrug of her shoulders in regards to what she was specifically looking for, pressing her lips together silently for a second. “There is a case I’m working on at the moment is a child with Adrenoleukodystrophy, it’s not something I’ve personally worked with before so although I know the facts from medical school I wanted to come and do some more reading on it incase there is anything I’ve missed. Are you staying a while?” She asked, referring to the library. @ofzahras

Zahra smiled briefly as she nodded at Eleanor. "A wise choice. I am not entirely sure I could explain what's going on here," she admitted, almost cringing as she studied the contents of the bag. While she had checked out the the majority of the books with the best of intentions of actually reading them, Zahra now had real trouble of even remembering the titles or why she had picked them. "But I guess carrying these around constitutes a workout. So, it's not all bad."

Eleanor had spent the better half of an hour searching for a particular book that the library said they carried. It wasn't where it was supposed to be on the shelf and she had almost given up on her search when she just happened to see it on the shelf. She found a spot to sit and read the first couple of pages before deciding she wanted to check it out. Getting up, she made her way to the check out line only to be joined by Zahra a few moments later. Eleanor smiled at her, glancing over to see the huge bag of books she was carrying. She was about to ask what was up with that when Zahra spoke up. A small laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. "Fine," she said. "I won't ask."

Zahra had always been a night owl and even more so since she had moved back to the city. Back home she had enjoyed how quiet everything had been when the whole neighborhood slept, had always been thrilled by the thought of being the last one awake, while the opposite was true in New York City. There were always people out and about and Zahra felt a special kind of comradery with the other sleepless wanderers. It could still be loud, yes, but there was also a certain kind of peace that felt familiar and even comforting.

She glanced to the side at the stranger and nodded at her words. She hadn't meant to strike up a conversation, not really, but she also didn't want to move from the spot she had picked for herself. It was surely one of the better ones. "I know," she agreed, dark eyes directed towards the sky. "No wonder people find symbolism and write poetry about it."

status: open (@bhqextras) location: Full Harvest Moon Viewing Party ; Prospect Park

if given the choice, olivia would've travelled to the country for this. perhaps she would have rented a car and driven until she was in the middle of nowhere, and then just parked on the side of the road and watched the moon. it wasn't that the view of the moon from here wasn't fine - it was, decent at least. up north where there was no light to drown out the stars? now that was spectacular.

but olivia didn't like to travel like that alone. she was small, after all, and had done enough research for the next twenty lifetimes that told her how she should avoid rural areas at night, and certainly don't go alone. as she didn't have anyone that was willing to go on an impromptu evening roadtrip, she found herself at the park. it would be good enough from here, the moon was still worth the late night for sure. so she laid back on her towel, arms crossed beneath her head casually.

❝ you know, ❞ she started, pretty much assuming that the person settled on the towel within reach of her own - god, was nowhere in the city no longer crowded? - would no doubt respond. ❝ no matter how many times i watch a full moon rise, it will always blow me away with how pretty it is. ❞

“ur so quiet” its so fucking loud in my head

Zahra watched as Ryan went to pick up the bag, quietly grateful he had happened to be there and didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry. "I guess this is my sign to hit up the gym," she muttered, slightly jealous just how easily the bag had lifted. "God no", Zahra spurted as he acquired whether she had actually read the books, "but I can't be paying overdue fees on all of those." Doing a postdoc in humanities wasn't exactly the most lucrative of jobs and there were far more fun ways to spend a good chunk of money. She nodded as Ryan spoke. "Okay, good. There's certainly a lot of flammable material there," she mused, following him quietly. "I'm okay. Work's keeping me busy." It wasn't a lie, not really, even if she hadn't really achieved much in the past few weeks. "I guess you must have been equally busy?"

—those were a lot of books to actually be any lighter than they looked, which made him smirk a little at her argument. “hmm,” was the only eligible response he could give. lifting the bag with ease —contrary to her he has been doing a lot of heavy lifting, daily, and the bag basically weighs nothing for him— he looked at her, a little amused. “you’ve actually read all these?” he questioned before nodding a little to her query in turn. “just a routine check.” Ryan responded as he reached out to pull the library door open, and gestured for her to walk in first. “how have you been? it’s been a while since I’ve been around…” they usually met at unholy hours, that’s how he had ended up meeting her, but his work schedule had been busy lately, plus he wanted to spend more time at home with Neva when he could; it left little time to venture when he couldn’t sleep.

[ aiysha hart, cis woman, she/her ] — whoa! ZAHRA HAMED just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TWO MONTHS, working as a POSTDOCTORAL RESEARCHER. that can’t be easy, especially at only 34 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit OBSTINATE and RESTLESS , but i know them to be OPEN-MINDED and RESOURCEFUL. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! — 

here's zahra's pinterest for the vibes.

FULL NAME: zahra hamed DATE OF BIRTH: may 11, 1990 GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman, she/her

ORIENTATION: bisexual OCCUPATION: postdoctoral researcher PLACE OF BIRTH: minneapolis, minnesota  FAMILY: mother, father PETS: a black cat called circe

HEIGHT: 5′10′’ HAIR COLOUR: dark brown EYE COLOUR: dark brown

trigger warnings: mentions of religion, infertility, emotional distress, and smoking.

she’s an only child, born to a mixed race and interfaith family. her christian mother and muslim father brought her up in an environment where questions were encouraged and zahra was taught to argue her views and research new ideas.

despite her status as somewhat of a miracle child - her parents had already come to accept they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own due to a host of fertility issues - zahra grew up knowing a lot was expected of her. both of her parents had grown up with very little and had been able to use education as their way out of difficult home situations. she doesn’t resent her parents in the slightest, but sometimes wonders what her life would now look like if she been given just a bit more space and freedom to discover and make mistakes. still, she’s grateful for the drive her parents instilled in her as it has helped her to keep going even during times of distress. that being said, she has unfortunately picked up a host of rather unhealthy coping mechanisms for said stressful situations.

after graduating from high school at the top of her class, zahra packed her bags and moved to durham, north carolina, where she would go on to attend duke university, studying religion and philosophy. she later completed her phd in columbia university, writing her thesis about religious dialogue and pluralism.

while her life hasn’t always been easy or uncomplicated, it has been rather streamline. she has struggled and put in an enormous amount of hard work to get where she is now, but things have generally gone well for her. however, she has recently gone through something of a personal crisis and is really struggling to find her feet again. to put it simply, zahra has become wildly disillusioned with the academia and is suddenly really not sure she’s happy with her choices in life.

her postdoctoral research has now taken her back to new york city where she conducts research in and around the city. well, that’s what she’s supposed to be doing. however, she has run into a real slump and is struggling to get anything productive done. her self-esteem has taken a hit due to the resent developments, as her sense of self has been so deeply intertwined with her academic and professional success. she previously did a disappearing act, leaving her life in nyc behind, and is currently trying to get her shit together. trying being the operative word. she knows she doesn’t have the time to fuck around, but that’s kind of exactly what she’s doing.

will become visibly grumpy when asked about the state of her research project. that being said, she is procrastinating by researching other things, and has, amongst other things, taught herself french while trying to avoid all her responsibilities. she will soon start picking up and abandoning all sorts of fun pastimes in the hopes of distraction.

while she can be bit of a hermit - she spends most of her time alone, trying desperately to read and write, or avoiding said activities - zahra isn’t the sort of shy, serious person people might expect her to be. she can be incredibly talkative and opinionated, even downright bossy, and genuinely enjoys meeting new people. sometimes she just needs a friend to drag her outside.

looks kind of intimidating unless she’s making a conscious effort to appear approachable. while evidently very intelligent and well-meaning for the most part, zahra sometimes struggles when it comes to socialising and pleasantries.

zahra back arrived to nyc around two-ish months ago, so here are some super vague connection ideas for anyone interested!

the stress has led to a lot of sleepless nights, resulting in her becoming a real night owl. she can be spotted frequenting places that are open late, and can be found chain-smoking and scrolling endlessly on social media. she would've undoubtedly run into some folks with similar schedules and habits.

any people with fun, interesting hobbies. after forming some sort of a connection, she would undoubtedly pester these individuals to teach her stuff. your girl needs to be distracted from the looming doom of her research project.

zahra enjoys noisy music. so, a person willing to accompany her to gigs around the area. she's happiest when it's so loud she can't hear her own thoughts.

definitely people she met while doing her phd in nyc. she left the city a few years ago, but would've spent around five-ish years there before skipping town. she would've definitely had friends and even little romances during that time.

Aiysha Hart as Dr. Miriam Shephard in ‘A Discovery of Witches’

She might have mistaken the tap on her shoulder for just another celebrant making their way out of the crowded bar had it not been so determined. She looked down at her feet, immediately realising she was indeed standing on the poor woman's very impressive Ella Enchanted costume. "I'm sorry," she half-shouted over the music, immediately taking a quick step to the side and releasing the fabric from under her feet. Hoping she hadn't caused any damage, Zahra glanced at the dress as if inspecting it for holes and tears. "I didn't ruin it, did I?"

who: anyone! ( @aurorabaystarter ) where: sharky's monster mash

With a drink on her mind, Aylin walked in her heeled boots down the few steps that separated her from the rest of the crowd and beelined straight for the bar. Once she had a drink in her hand, she would attempt to find higher ground - not wanting to deal with anyone she knew just yet. But as she shuffled on her feet impatiently, her long dress was caught under someone’s shoe at the bar. Tapping them on the shoulder, she spoke without looking up from their foot placed on her costume. “Excuse me,” she said loud enough to yell out the DJ’s Halloween tunes. “You’re standing on my dress.”