Returning The Head Of The Forest Spirit

has chase atlantic not won a grammy yet

me every few months literally

me perfectly curating my blog.

I love how the script they read from is like right in front of them, but its radio so people can't see it but then they post these videos and they hold the script the entire time.

jongin talking about his supportive parents

I'm patiently waiting for the day sean lew does his big one and finally choreographs for sm and saves the company from mediocrity cause southern hip hop does not go like how they've been doing it or teaching it.

Back in the day they used to have a good medium of american choreographers to assist the trainee's and idols and clean up their faults now it's like they don't' have that and it's soo evident.

I don't care the minute they got rid of that bald british or american dude they companies dancing went down hill. It became a weird oligarchy. Like I noticed kai's main teacher started recommending people he trained and they eventually ended up replacing most of the western choreographers. They brought in bailey sok

for peaches, the asian american southern swag hip hop extraordinaire that she is and it was way better than Mmmh.

It actually had so many different elements in it, but most don't really focus on the dancing. But for rover they settled on bada lee

who is mainly a krump battle dancer, it lacked authenticity. Not to get all so you think you can dance, but Jongin cannot do that and at sm they make no effort to really teach everyone learns on their own and they aren't really pushed to be at a certain standard.

Kasper and all those other choreographers and that studio they get most of the dancers from have a very specific skill sets.

They've been with sm for quite some time and I get that, loyalty but like the art world don't work like that they're gonna get left behind.

they got clout about 2013 from america's best dance crew made it to the quarter finals cool. We back to Korea with prestige

Did the olympics alongside exo.

I get sm always wants people with lots of prestige and clout but they tend to keep the same people for so long the creative image of sm gets stifled and left behind, now sm is desperately trying all the trends and fads to get their artists relevant to the youth again. Like it's a little late they should have been letting young creative directors in.

I don't care I'm always gonna advocate for new and upcoming artist with lots of passion. They make the world turn, they start the trends, they bring the most energy with their ideas.

Ignoring the performative style an artist specializes in and getting choreographers that make lite hood tik tok mashup dances is ruining the game. But if one must do it I think letting the western choreographers they bring in for ideas have some real creative freedom. It typically never fails I feel like they bring in these choreographers for a blueprint then let a korean choreographer twist it up a little bit so they never have to really give somebody credit. They never say western names hardly if ever only thank you team who contributed to the success but the korean choreographers get to show their face, do interviews, and idols basically have them as a part of the crew.

Like they are NOT slick. At all. I know the western choreographers get inspo from southern hip hop but at least they are transparent. They'll say this is inspired by this dance, two step, crank that, etc but it never is even a topic of discussion. Only full credit going to the k choreographers and yeah yeah some other people helped...like people forget why exo's choreo was so on point when they started

I really don't wanna make it seem like it's just black creators they try to shelve and ignore it's basically anyone non korean.

Tony Testa I remember him from back in the day but when I wanted to search him up to my surprise nobody really talked about him and the only choreographer people talk about training Kai is mainly Mihawk and Kasper...which is somewhat true.

Cause they're choreo is...like it's okay.. but Kai himself went into how Mihawk trained Exo and it was basically sm style, yelling, you're terrible, quit now, emotional abuse... wow you're famous I love you let's take pictures.. I don't care they gaslight them kids idc idc idc. Now that's trauma bonding.

But then there's the actual full truth that they and many other sm performers who have been praised for their dances around that time, were in fact trained by a real deal professional at one point, one of their staple choreographers was Tony Testa and he choreographed for Britney Spears(circus) and Michael Jackson(Testa was hired by director Kenny Ortega as an associate choreographer for Michael Jackson's final tour This Is It which obviously never got to happen but still)

This was dance on sunset? I think?

and suddenly the quality makes all the sense in the world

But again try and find it without knowing about it before hand you'd be like yeah no they never really had any western choreographers. There's no history books in Kpop if you were there you remember but if you weren't woops doesn't exist.

except it does.

Anyway too many people have this weird odd narrative Mihawk did it all and thank God for him like....how? He's just one of the only one's still there. Everybody else left cause Korea is trash to artists and creatives.

Like Kai cannot do that hood stuff, he wasn't trained for that at all. Now if sm invested more in there artists fine blame him but everybody knows these kids would dance in that basement for hours by themselves cause be honest they probably paid the teachers for a certain amount of time and then it's all on the kids. They absorb as much as they can but then it's up to them. He couldn't just learn such an advanced style like krumping from watching, you either grow up in the culture or you learn from someone who grew up in the culture. This is why you can't expect these Korean teachers to teach krumping. They know it but only cause they most likely learned from someone close to the source, it's not just something that can spread so easily.

sm has always like historically done this like it's just something they do they will never stop taking these itsy bitsy pieces of black culture and recycling it they can't help it. They've worked with tons of black artist to make the actual music and tend to get some western or black influenced people to try and create some type of instant quick success. But it's so subtle one could say it's not related at all.

I would say its a coincidence but knowing who trained shotaro like uhm no it's not,

Tiktok

he is a professional dancer and he dances!! #nct #shotaro #nctzen #czennie #dance #nctu #foryou #fypシ #fyp #foryoupage #viral #xyzbca

Sm knows exactly what company trained Shotaro and they are known to specialize in krumping and hip hop. The little time he spent at sm most likely taught him barely anything he was already trained when they got him. They fib so much and never let their artists go into detail. He trained for years with a company that trains people in the top boy groups in japan.

EXPG is a studio connected with the iconic Japanese boy group exile tribe where most of their members train.

I just get tired of people saying 'studio from japan or studio in america' like if it was Korean people would give the entire name...like what's wrong with giving people credit who deserve it.

They typically sometimes get sent to new york for 2 years I think? But that was in the old days it may be different now. This is because the japanese always understood if you want your artist to do black music they should not just sing black music but be under the cultural american influence in some sort of way.

I don't know what they aren't getting, Kai isn't perfect at every style. They just don't plan on ever investing any more money into him or really any of their artists.

He was more in his comfort zone at the beginning of exo with a heavy emphasis on jazz and contemporary style dance.

If there isn't jazz or contemporary at least in the basis of the dance that's where Kai starts to falter. Broadway theater style is what he's most comfortable in. But because of appearance they push urban dance on him.

They didn't even try with bomba

Rover was a soul crushing mix between crank that soulja boi and the macarena.

I was watching the video like nooo that's every viral black/ethnic dance in one and I already knew that tagged choreographer was korean. I wanna analyze rover later but I might get upset it's pretty like a big major 106 in park style mv/music video and dance but like that fact just got

Everything he specializes in sm is like nah they also make anyone with sm have this weird loyalty to where the artist never get to express and cultivate themselves as a human. They are stuck in some sort of child/star hybrid.

I don't know why in the world they didn't send exo or at least super m to millenium they literally rented out the studio where so many talented dancers choreograph and just flew out they korean choreographer so ignorant. They were so stubborn with that group.

I feel like if they were trained by young vibrant artist close to their age they could of gotten so much inspiration. Freedom is really a virus and why would a kpop company want them to have freedom

Like hire the boy he just traveling around asia in his spare time making some of the best choreography of his career and they're like lalalala let's hire other people he's worked and trained with but not him. If anyone could actually help fill in the gaps with some of sm's main dancers I think he could.

Anyway I just feel definitely by 2025 either super m is gonna be somewhat active or sm will be out of business but I still think sean and kai should at least meet up once at a dance conference they become friends and post jazzy contemporary dances online with the occasional obligatory bff's cooking in the kitchen youtube channel, like so many of the peebles do now and days. They both do the same artsy triple threat yet auditioning to be a stay at home husband type of thing, cooking, yoga, self care. Like it can be good for the brand I swear. I just have a thing for artsy people with the same vibes clicking up. It's not so far fetched cause he already worked with Jackson. I just want the two balls of sunshine to meet

Everytime I feel like this I just make a poster for my book or go on chat gtp to just play around with the story to see if it's something I actually want to write. Then I can see a draft of my work and see if I actually want to waste time and energy on it.

I hate not feeling motivated to write anything.

My mind is just blank. Like the static on a TV. Just...nothing.

I worry I won't be able to tell this story well at all. It's so ambitious, complex....I don't know what to do.

And yet I want to get this story out there. I have faith in its concept and its themes and characters. And still, despite that, I just...can't do it. It's such agony.

why imo jongin is a mom but not a 'mother'

months after watching he's expecting on netflix and becoming aware of the plethora of male's being pregnant movies that exist and discovering in it's genesis mpreg was meant to be a analysis on gender differences and what it would be like if women didn't have to worry about pregnancy and men did I'm wondering why 99.9 percent of mpreg don't have women in it, like at all. Like thats the main point gender analysis but many mpregs only have one gender.

Its a whole new year and going through the jongin ff tag im always like maybe something will surprise me but its all the segregation, straight fics have super serious masculine and yaoi has versatility but there's like no mention of women like not even a neighbour and the feminist in me is like

But I do like emotional vulnerable kji in fics cause it feels more real, but when the author slides in a comment about women making them seem like the plague I just can't ignore it like I used to when I was 12. Cause like why. Last year a yaoi fic i read I was like wow so well written but then the author made two derogatory comments about women for like no reason. I felt super weird about that cause like what was the reason

I was more intelligent next time I was determined find a writer who could write female characters into a fic that didn't have females as the main love interest. I believed in humanity.

Found one but everyone in the comment kept complaining that there were too many women and too much character development.

Then there's the issue of despite nearly every kpop ff taking place in america there's only korean characters and no discussion of like any wider array of topics like ever. Like stuff do be happening in america. I just feel like fanfics fell off when people stopped writing like they were writing real people on a real planet. It may be a side effect that kpop became so closed off and cult like over the years. Idols being kept in boxes only interacting with select groups of people. It made fans not want to even think of idols in real life situations. I truly believe if exo was on tmz in some mess some people actually might pass out. Sm kept them in a bubble. Most of kpop is in a bubble. It makes the fans more emotionally connected but also they seriously don't think they have autonomy. Like fans are okay with idol interactions but if somebody saw an idol dancing in a club with somebody w video evidence like the facade would be shattered. Nobody would say it but many would not like that person anymore. I think its expressed in the ff. Like in reality kai's very feminine, he is there's nothing wrong with that. He has been since childhood. But depending on who he is in a fan's perception. Whether he's the dominant part of a ship or in a het context or a cute tw!nk like there's always authenticity missing when people write him. Like whole parts of his character are missing.

Cause he is feminine but also tends to act more feminine when around women which is psychologically interesting to me. Anyway I guess what I'm getting at is like why has no one written a he's expecting au for him?

Not in a pushy way just in a pondering way.

Like lmao watch andante he was basically as omega as you can get

the girlfriend character took the reigns and the entire show completely flipped gender norms on its head. But I've seen many say they didn't like the show simply because he was with a girl and by proxy that meant it was cliche and played out not even bothering to watch the entire show. (Its not even that the girlfriend was masculine he just let her take the lead)

Which is an insult to kji because all his characters were unique and complex he never wanted to play just a generic lead which is why he turned down so many roles. I firmly believe he could of been in many shows and even films but he wanted to choose roles he felt built up the image and mythos of kai. He never wanted to do variety for that reason.

In miracle we met he played an angel but not only that but also a sort of romantic interest to an older non traditional female lead character. Sadly because of traditional views the relationship wasn't looked at as closely as it would have been if the actress was younger and closer to the beauty standards. If a show isn't pushing or hitting people over the head with something people simply ignore it.

If it's not aesthetic enough people simply overlook what is being shown to them.

Again a big part of this is the compartmentalized thinking of society. People tend to stay in the realm of what the media pushes and is deemed acceptable.

Lastly in spring has come many interesting topics where explored, including typical non traditional gender roles, age difference, money in relation to love, and sadly many either avoided the show because of it being het and not bl or disliked it because there wasn't a kissing scene.

Kji may not speak a lot about his personal life and preferences but I believe he chooses to show it instead by meticulously immersing himself in the projects he is apart of.

Its like its been such a long time since debuted I feel like fics concerning him could be like a wee bit more complex.

he used to be so talkative and expressive. I believe a part of him becoming introverted was because sm pushed him into being a blank canvas for the public. Despite publicly dating twice he consistently plays like he has no experience with anything and is always careful to talk in terms of metaphors concerning women. Exo l being his girlfriend publicly is like so

cause back in the day fans would have been like lmao how cringe now its like they are all aboard. The parasocialism is flourishing. But it means nobody wants him to act or date or do anything interesting that would give him you know inspo for the albums they love so much. Personally as a former directioner I feel like in terms of high art, dating models, a kardashian or a thespian works best.

Not even talking just girls even at gucci events he sticks by staff he doesn't go out and mingle w male models despite a quick chat or photos. Like when he went back to korea and wrote exo l a note basically saying how he was the only korean and didnt talk to anyone. He can speak english its just not his image to hang around foreigners. its really sad honestly and no I don't think its just cause he is introverted I believe its partially out of fear. Kfans would drop him if he hung out with a different racial group simply because its something they don't expect from him. Members of black pink can do it but their fans don't see them as a bubble chia pet. Boy band fans want subordination in all ways or else they drop members. A group of ppl on twitter said ksoo wanted western validation and implied he didn't want to be korean cause he talked about camila cabello and justin beiber and someone said baekhyun was shameful for liking chris brown

Which is literally insane they expect them to be in a bubble a prepubescent fanservice never talk about women or men who date women. Its ridiculous. I just miss when kji could have his own personality and image but over the years the fan view began to restrict his self expression. Its only shown in his albums but then he can't talk about it.

Tbh if he can get back into acting idc what ff authors write. Everytime exo needs to go viral he has to wear his back tf out arching it like that. Yoga can only help so much. Post military idk how much more he can take. I think he could do sci fi pretty well, I can see him in an alice and borderland type show. Or the weird types of jdramas. Honestly I always thought he'd go to america eventually sm just had to be smart about doing it. Idk if harry can get in a marvel movie I truly believe anything is possible. I saw that policeman movie poor baby can't act to save his life.

Lmao all this cause I was mad people only wrote him intersex in the context of yaoi. Like has nobody watched cw, freeform,? Good trouble. Maybe he's a single pre law student trying to make it in the big city, accidentally gets pregnant then gives the baby up to a wealthy couple only to change his mind and raise the kid on his own with his quirky roomates. Like not everything has to be a romance. Jongin is a strong independent blaq ish woman who does not need a man. He's proved this countless times. Everything he does thats effeminate on twitter is meow meow, kitten, malewife. Like where was the neocapitalist feminism we were all indoctrinated under, where's the great mother worship, where is the respect for the divine feminine. Its all become a joke I fear. I have no proper reasoning but I blame tyler perry. After Madea's family reunion all female led movies turned into domestic violence themed messes. But on that note like kji does kinda look like jlo in enough or gives off the same mama bear energy. I think an enough au could work...imma just stop here cause im tired and ill start on my multitude of late night brain theories of how sm could of had exo on shake it up and kai and rocky could of had a dance battle.....

Perfect Blue (1997) dir. Satoshi Kon

meal inspo

When i see this my microbiome screams. In reality this is super overpriced but it makes me see veggies positively and helps me stick to the journey

i think I figured it out

Allison was an illusion the whole time. She was just a metaphor for the selfish girl within all of us. They were all Allison.