What If We Are Both The Space Orcs And The Space Hippies Of The Galaxy?

One thing that amaze me from the whole humans are space orcs is that, as far i know, no one have mentioned how human media or more specific “Human horror / sci fi media” will affect how the rest of galactic society will perceive humanity

Aliens surprised about how they have never cross paths with the aliens species the humans have battle as see in these “movies” humans love to watch

At first they thinks “movies” must be some class of audiovisual record of human history to be thaught to future genertions but then they are atonished about how humans look foward to see and renact some of these “movies” in what they called “reboots” and collect some ritual figures of the heros and adversaries in that movies.

Even the young ones get some of this as “toys”

Humans are a proud warrior race it seems

But then, it sinks to them “We never have heard about that aliens species before…” and the humans looks almost so casual sharings and retelling this movies almost funnily between them. And its shocking because, how one single race could just have extinguished from the face of the universe multiple threats and just shrug it off??

Its not a surpise that when the first contact bewtween space community and the human race start with “Hello humans! We come in peace! No, seriously.. really we really come in peace.We know about the legendary tales of Ellen Ripley and Will Smith and do not have a death wish”

I can assure you that I do not have a magnetic crystal in my brain. I also have yet to hear this "music".

What if there was an alien species who didn’t ‘get’ music? They have no sense of rhythm or anything like that, so from their perspective humans occasionally just randomly change the pitch of their voices while talking about random things. They find it insane that there’s a whole human industry devoted to making instruments and other humans fluctuate the pitch and speed of their voices into a recording device.

Eventually the humans explain music to them and they learn to just put up with it as another 'crazy human thing’.

Now imagine a ship where half the crew is human and half is this other species. There’s a bit of a friendly rivalry between the two species and they often play pranks on each other. So one week the humans hide magnets all around the ship, knowing that this messes with the magnetic crystals in the aliens’ brains that help them find their way around. The humans have great fun watching their crew mates keep bumping into things and the aliens swear revenge.

The next week some music is played over the ship’s intercom. But it’s not just any music. Every song that the aliens have ever heard referred to as “annoying” or “catchy” is played over and over. To the aliens it’s just white noise, to the humans it’s torture. It gets worse, however. For days after the incident, the aliens dilate their breathing flaps in amusement whenever they hear humans complain about “that stupid song!” They’d heard about the human concept of 'songs getting stuck in heads’ but didn’t think it would work so well…

okay so i’ve seen a lot of post about What If Humans Were Weird and stuff about humans and aliens interacting but………….give me some human/alien relationships? where are my complicated courting rituals???? where are my human alien marriages??? Give Me That Shit! what if aliens consider humans the Epitome of Beauty and grace? like yknow how some ostriches prefer presenting to humans instead of other ostriches? and anyone who is lucky enough to be mated to a human is thought of to be like a tier above.

but like the flip side where any human who marries an alien is immediately known as a Kinkster. “i fucking knew david was into weird shit!!! no wonder he got married to an alien from sector 764b4 HE LIKES TENTACLES!!”

or maybe?? aliens who like humans are weird to other aliens? “omg ru'garr stop fetishizing an entire species, u creep.” and ru'garr is trying to hide his weird human porn like “ITS NOT THAT WEIRD GUYS THE GENITALS ARE COMPATIBLE!!!” “fuck off ru'garr”

i just,,, can’t believe i haven’t seen any of this?? @space-australians

I've seen it vaguely touched upon, but has anyone ever gotten really indepth about how we advance, not as a need, but as a competitive factor? Like with even NASA and whatever we were like "hey we're gonna make it to space before you losers" and the others were like "heck no we're gonna get there before you losers" and it just permeates every factor of our lives ask any child who plays a game and even they'll be pumped to win

Necessity is the parent of progress, the pamphlet had said. It was supposed to be a human saying, but as Vossavangen looked upon the mess the ships humans had made, xe realised how wrong this statement was. As per usual, humans made very little sense. Apparently, it had all started with one of the humans saying they could fix the fuel intakes of the small utility ships (which were working fine, mind you) before and better than another human.

Apparently this was a ‘bet’ - a word that didn’t really translate to Vossavangen’s native language. A lot of the words spoken in the following argument didn’t translate, and those who did seemed strangely fixated around referring to the other human as genitalia. At the time it hadn’t seemed like it would bring much trouble. Like most normal human behaviour it was best to let it play out on its own and let the humans deal with it.

Well, that was what xe had thought then, but less than one rotation later the floor of the room the humans called the garage was filled with tools and pieces of engines. It was a disaster, and Vossavangen had no idea how to explain it to xir superiors.

Talking to the humans had proven futile, but by some miracle both the utility ships they’d been ‘tinkering’ on were fully operational eleven rotations later - less than half a rotation before High Command was supposed to inspect the area. The work space was far from tidy, but the humans had decided that one party would clean for all of them. Which it would be depended on who had brought the biggest improvements to the ships.

Vossavangen was less than optimistic, but xe tested the utility ships none the less. Shockingly, it seemed the human engineers and mechanics had managed to on one of the ships cut fuel use with almost forty percent, while on the other they had substituted the need for traditional fuel altogether for food waste.

After the incident, it became common knowledge that the best ways to get a human to work efficiently was to say they either wouldn’t be able to do it, or that someone else could do it better than them.

This is concerning, multiple people contained within one body? That poses a great advantage to the humans that have this ability.

Humans are weird

So I’ve been seeing a bunch of these humans are weird space orcs from space Australia stories touching on different mental illnesses but haven’t seen any on DID so I thought I’d take a crack at it:

Zu'lak: Human Tera!

*seconds go bye*

Zu'lak: *starts moving closer* Human Tera!

Me *whispery scratchy voice*: Oh hey, uh Tera isn’t around at the moment, whaddya need?

Zu'lak: What do you mean Human Tera is not here? I can clearly see you standing in front of me. And what is wrong with your voice? Are you ill?

Me: *sighs* In a way yes. We have this disorder, dissociative identity disorder, it’s something our brain did as a coping mechanism as a result of trauma as a child. In layman’s terms we essentially have multiple people sharing a body.

Zu'lak: I do not understand. You have multiple sentient life forms all inhabiting one body? And you are still able to function? How many of you are there?

Me: More or less yeah, there are a LOT of other stuff that come along with it. And the amount of people can vary from system to system, some have just a few, some have dozens.

Zu'lak: Dozens?? *writes all this down in a notebook* So if you are not Human Tera what are you referred to as?

Me: Dawn.

Zu'lak: Very well Human Dawn–

Me: Just Dawn is fine.

Zu'lak: Very well Dawn. Come with me you must inform me of all you know of this disorder you have so we may accommodate you accordingly.

Another humans are weird space orcs idea because I really like thinking about it. What if aliens have no idea how to hide their emotions? Like, they suck at poker because they can never keep a straight face or anything. or, on a darker note, their ship is hijacked and they can’t keep the fear out of their faces, but all the humans look cold and emotionless to them. Other aliens hating having to bargain with humans becase we can bluff and keep our emotions in check so well, but when they get frustrated it’s all over. Pirates threaten the space ship and they send the human to do negotiations, and the pirate talking is super confused because no matter what threat he makes, the human just doesn’t seem to be fazed one bit.

Someone please, feel free to add to this, I love to see what else people come up with!

@space-australians

Humans are Scary (humans are weird)

Ok, so just imagine that one day the crew lands on an new planet. And the usual scout and research team goes out to explore the planet. (So this team is made out of highly skilled aliens, and two humans. One a protector and one a medic.) So they’re going around this planet exploring things and all is good. That is, until the healer wanders off because he found a whole field of a rare herb. Awhile later the protector see’s that the medic is not with the rest of the group any more, so he starts yelling out his name. The aliens catch on and they start to yell their name too, one even tried to read his heat signature. But then they hear him yell “Im over here guys, don’t worry” proceeded by a scream. And the aliens freak out because “oh my gosh I’ve never seen a human run that fast” The aliens catch up to them to see a huge sabertooth like creature across the field from the medic. The protector instantly yells out the medics name and runs in between the sabertooth and the medic. The sabertooth backs up, confused. But then it starts to growl at the pair, showing its sharp teeth in the process. The protector haunches his back and snarls at him. He moves his lips back to show off his canine teeth, then let out a deep, primal sound. The sabertooth growled again and swiped at the human, who dodged and took a step foreword, letting out another deep snarl towards the creature. The protector lunged foreword and grabbed onto one of the massive fangs using as leverage before he plunged a dagger into the sabers eye. The creature flailed around and ran back into the bush. The human got up ad stared into the bush waiting for it to come back. The aliens just stare at the human in terror because, “humans aren’t suppose to be like that.” The protector finally let his defensive stance go after staring into the bush. He knelt down to the medic and hugged him whispering little things into the others ear and rubbing his back. The aliens learned something new about humans that day: Never mess with a humans mate.

alright alright alright, @space-australians asked for some humans are space orcs re: adrenaline and tonight you shall receive because it’s 1:15 in the morning and my brain clearly does not believe in sleep!!!

After some time of observation, the Intergalactic Fleet happily welcomed the Terrans. While their uncontrollable pack-bonding instincts had caused some… incidents… they were mostly a boon. In dire straits, the flimsy little two-legged things proved themselves capable of surviving in any inhospitable climate and either pulling their comrades out of danger or summoning help for the danger even while suffering from their own grievous injuries. 

So when Medical Chief Sylatn-Dra’xxort got to share an important dinner with a human called Commander Geralt O’Brien - a rarity, because the Fleet was generally segregated by breathing requirements and her people favored chlorine - she was very excited to pick his brain on how his species could go from “let’s put a knife on this cleaning bot and name it and promote it” to a facsimile of the Terran folk hero “Terminator” in a manner of seconds.

Thanks to the airflow manipulation technologies of the bird-like Aarkorysh people, Commander O’Brien’s voice was only slightly warped as he responded to her questions. “Well, obviously you know humans are full of hormones. When things get dire, say because of a tunnel collapse for example, there’s a hormone called adrenaline that gets released.”

Sylatn-Draxxort listened intently to O’Brien’s explanation of how this ‘adrenaline’ was in many ways a biological equivalent of a starship’s emergency lockdown mode. Terran psychologists called this state “Fight or Flight Mode” and while in such a state, a human might even be able to shrug off pain that would kill other organisms as their body was flooded with a veritable cocktail of substances that blocked pain while providing additional blood sugar to perform feats of strength that impressed even Golretzi soldiers. 

“Now the problem with adrenaline is that it’s really only good for you in short bursts,” O’Brien continued, and took a sip from his glass of red liquid - another human curiosity, their fondness for substances toxic to other species with similar biology. “If a human is under that kind of stress for too long they start producing adrenaline and other stress hormones even when they’re out of danger. At that point, the constant elevated heartrate and stuff ends up becoming a medical issue.” 

He smiled to himself while Sylatn-Draxxort took a few bites of her own meal. “Although on the other end of the spectrum you get adrenaline junkies who seek out that kind of reaction.”

The Medical Chief turned a few of her eyes back to look at the dark-skinned commander, who sounded fond. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, we call them adrenaline junkies. These are the people who do a lot of base jumping and crazy ski jumps and stuff.”

“Yes, I recently read about a Sergeant injuring herself ‘skiing’ on Pyrhatsdis…”

O’Brien made a face of discomfort before laughing. “Yeah, I read that too. If I remember correctly, she got out with just a little concussion and some scrapes. I’ve had worse skiing injuries than that, though it was partly just because I didn’t do the straps right.”

“And people seek out the sorts of situations that cause this physiological reaction, even though too much of said reaction causes damage to your circulatory system?”

“I know, right?”

Sylatn-Draxxort reached out one of her many arms to take a sip of the cool mercury brew she was fond of while she considered how to respond to this politely. “How strange,” she said softly.

Do you think that, to aliens, we humans are like the supreme omnivores of the universe?

I mean, honestly, one of the greatest advantages we have as a species is our willingness to eat, or at least try to eat, just about anything.

Allergies, cultural differences, preferred diets, and intolerances, and general tastes for flavors aside, the average human is capable of finding a way to consume most anything we can get in our mouth.

Meat? Boom. Vegetables? Pretty good. Fruits? Love it. Bugs? Hey if we had to. Fish? Hell yeah. Eggs? Yeah man. Organs? Sure thing. Milk, honey, and food products made in other creatures? Classic.

Hell, if something isn’t immediately poisonous or just disgusting tasting, or even just flat undigestable, chances are a human can and will eat it.

Honestly, even if something is known to be poisonous (i.e. pufferfish), we’re not gonna rest until we find some part of it that’s not poisonous so we can eat that.

Some humans even will eat disgusting things, either to prove they can, or because they’ve found a way to make it palatable just so that they can actually eat it.

Especially consider that if other alien species we encounter are either flat herbivores or obligate carnivores. It might be to the concern of some newer crew members just how much the humans on board eat and what variety they will consume if given the chance; especially if they’re concerned about food rations being low. Or if they get to an unexplored world and the human is commenting about strange flora and fauna they find and comment how much it resembles foodstuffs on their home planet. Until they realize the humans are saying it about a LOT of the stuff on this unexplored world. To the point they’re worried that either the humans will eat something that would get them sick/poisoned, or they’ll end up just completely devouring anything and everything they see on the planet like a swarm of starved locusts.

This is amusing.

Aliens watching out for their humans

So most of the stories I’ve seen in the Humans-Are-Weird/Space-Australia/Space-Orcs have had aliens being completely accepting and mostly one human explaining things.

So what would happen when the alien crew who loved their human and easily accepted that their brain didn’t always work right encountered as absolute asshole?

“Human Katyleen, I do not understand why you are upset about Human Sarah traveling with our crew?”

“Because psychos like her should be locked up Galthor! God first it’s rude to call them nutjobs when they are now they get to take the spots that people like me deserve!”

“Do you have the ability to lift a Bilibithor above your head?”

“No but-”

“Ah! You must be able to out-talk a Fiffifin then!”

“They use so many alliterations it makes no sense!”

“Are you able to correctly change speeds to prevent a hyper speed collision that is, the earth term is inches correct?”

“She is still a psycho! She could snap at any time and kill you all!”

“I believe Human Sarah told us about your kind.”

“What did she say?”

“I believe the terms used is cunt.”