More Humans Are Weird

Quite a few have been saying:”But what about laughing?”, in the comments of my ‘Weird Human Reactions to Fear: the Singing Edition’ post. My question is: do you know why humans laugh when shit gets real?

Laughter is our brain’s Blue Screen of Death.

Where a computer would throw up an error and possibly crash, our brains go:”well, shit”, and hit the big red button labelled: ‘LAUGHTER (and possibly applause, but probably not applause)’. Since we need our brains 24/7, we don’t have the luxury of error messages. So our brains buy some time to figure out what’s going on by making us laugh in the weirdest situations.

Imminent doom? Laugh.

Absolutely livid? Laugh.

Distraught? Laugh.

Pretty sure you’re gonna die? Laugh.

I mean, we can’t be sure the aliens don’t have brains that work the same way, but seeing as other animals on Planet Earth don’t really have that either… that’d probably freak them the fuck out too.

Not only do the gangly bipeds sing when they’re scared, they could just as easily start laughing.

Imagine an alien species that venerates the spoken word.

Speaking is a sacred thing to them. Why wouldn’t it be? it’s the ritual exchange of information through a complex series of structures evolved over millennia. That’s a really big deal. So they only ever speak to each other in words to relay important information, like orders or relevant things not already obvious. Small talk either doesn’t exist or is only exchanged with your closest friends or family members. Otherwise it’s not just impolite, but practically blasphemy.

Then humans come along. At first they seem like they’re the same way–their ambassadors are eloquent and polite, and sure maybe their wording can be a little needlessly fancy, but every species is a little different and you’ve gotta make some allowances.

That’s what the aliens think until they actually meet their human crew mates.

And they discover that humans??? Will just say???? Anything?????

One human is braiding another’s hair and comments, “you have so much hair!” as if the other human didn’t know that already??? Their alien crew member is absolutely appalled at the casual use of speech to relay such pithy information. But the other human doesn’t even care???

Another human sees something funny and says “I’m dying” and the alien runs over like “OH NO WHERE DOES IT HURT” and the human is utterly baffled and says “I didn’t actually mean it” which is outrageous because why would that human dare use the power of speech to state something blatantly untrue?

The alien thinks they’ve seen the worst of it. And then a human comes out of the latrine. And they open their mouth.

“YOOOO GUYS I JUST TOOK THE BIGGEST SHIT”

Submitted by: @attentiondeficitohlookasquirrel

This seems to relate to the ability humans have relating to the 4th dimension.

Humans are Weird: That One feeling

Im talking about the ‘I know someone is there’ feeling. You could haveyour back to something, but then just /know/ that theres someone/something behind you without seeing or hearing anything. You just /know./ Like, imagine how weird that’d be to Aliens

Bizarinvin: *Walks up to Ava slowly and quietly, maybe trying to see if xey can surprise them somehow*

Ava: *Immediately turns around* Yo Biz. Trying to scare me?

Bizarinvin: Yes but how did you even know I was there! I made sure I was silent!

Ava: I have eyes on the back of my head

Bizarinvin: Really?!

Ava: *Laughs* Nah. I just felt you there.

Bizarinvin: But you havent touched me.

Ava: I just sensed you there I guess then

Bizarinvin: What? How?

Ava: *Shrugs* I dunno. Humans can just… know if theres someone there without looking or hearing them sometimes

Bizarinvin:….Ok. *Goes to update the Human Guide with this new info 

I have become pretty obsessed with Humans are Space Orcs/Space Australia posts, and here’s what popped out of my brain: Disobedience. Humans can be told “Under no circumstances are you allowed to do this”, be threatened with punishment, and STILL DO THE THING! We have a specific phrase for when something we wanted to do has negative consequences: “Worth it” Even more, it’s EXPECTED that children will be disobedient. “Rebellious phase” and all that. Parents will tell their kids “Don’t run on the sidewalk you’ll fall and scrape your knee” and the kids RUN ANYWAY. And they fall and scrape their knee. And then THEY DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY. Sometimes being told not to do something makes us WANT TO DO IT MORE! (Same vein as morbid curiosity, i.e. ‘That’s a bad thing which makes it more exciting’)

Now imagine the aliens trying to deal with it: “Human Clara, I can see you are looking at that rocky cliff. Do not climb it, it is very perilous” “Well, I was just thinking about it, but now…” “Thank you for seeing reason Human Clara… Human Clara? Human Clara get down from there!” “Haha, nope!” *falls* “… Worth it.” “Human Clara there was no gain from this it was not 'worth it’”

What if another “humans are weird” thing is talking to ourselves. Like… it makes no sense? But so many of us do it. Even just muttering under our breaths. I can’t help but think that some alien species would think we’re trying to hide another aspect of our (already weird) abilities.

They can ‘throw’ stuff, and bond with nearly anything, and now they’re talking to people who aren’t even there?!? Sure, they said they were just “talking to themself” but that’s obviously just a bad excuse. They do have thoughts after all.

(Feel free to add to this, it always makes posts 38200× better)

Willow and Tara from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"

CANON GAY COUPLES

(please reblog and add more!)

Rachel and Luce from Imagine Me And You

Waverley and Haught from Wynonna Earp

Magnus and Alec from Shadowhunters

Billy and Teddy from Young Avengers, Marvel

Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe

Mitch and Cameron from Modern Family

Holt and Kevin from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Isak and Even from Skam

Emily and Naomi from Skins UK

Alex and Maggie from Supergirl

Stef and Lena from The Fosters

more "aliens being surprised by humans" stuff

our ability to belt out one entire three to five minute long song if we’re familiar with it like. suvi starts singing “hallelujah” to fill the quiet and is answered by liam all across the room in a p decent harmony. cora walks past and starts humming it enthusiastically even tho she can’t stay very long. gil joins in for the third refrain. ryder finishes it off with a passionate solo.

when they look around every alien is staring at them. vetra blinks and knocks her hands together. “that’s what you’re supposed to do when humans make those sounds right?” she asks kallo beside her, who mirrors her. everyone is a little stunned at the coordination and emotion in the performance and they all look equally moved. jaal might be crying. none of them know what a ‘hallelujah’ is, but they feel like they’ve come to understand it through this melody

they’re all extremely confused when all of the humans still continue on on their tasks without pause

edit; other songs include but are not limited to: bohemian rhapsody, mr. brightside, single ladies, no scrubs, and i will always love you

My two cents to the Humans are weird tag

I’ve been reading a lot of “humans are weird” posts and I noticed how the aliens just seem… all the same in a way? Like, they all act the same, or live the same way, or something…

Why does it seem like humans are the only ones to… I don’t know, give live birth, or dye their hair/get tattoos?

And why does it seem like humans are weirdly homogenous in those stories. Like… “all humans “pack-bond” “ or whatever.

Why wouldn’t other species have more different languages on their planets?

Why wouldn’t other species have now-useless organs, that are just an evolutionary relic, and serve no real purpose?

Why wouldn’t other species have like eye-sight problems and have some equivalent of glasses or contacts?

Why wouldn’t other species have prostetics?

Why wouldn’t other species get adrenaline rushes (or equivalent of it)?

Why wouldn’t other species wear clothes?

Why wouldn’t other aliens do crazy shit just because?

Why wouldn’t other aliens tan or dye their hair (or equvalent of it) or get tattoos?

Why wouldn’t other species have baby teeth or something similar?

Why wouldn’t other species have mental illnesses or allergies?

Why would humans be so special?

Why would other species act so… primitivelly, despite being so advanced? (Meaning like alpha/beta etc. dynamics being very important or huge size difference between males and females of the species).

So, let’s say that one species usually has like one or two oddities, sometimes more, but none has so many as humans. Humans are not unique in the things they do - they are just unique because of how many weird thing they do.

Imagine some alien captain getting briefed on how to handle humans, before a human joins his crew like:

Older alien captain (O): So, one of the things about humans is that they have many languages they speak on their planet, so they might use translators to communicate with each other, too.

Younger alien captain(Y): Like Nintians or Fari?

O: Yeah, like that. And they sometimes use paint to change their haircolor. Their hair changing color is not a sign of illness.

Y: Like with Zagraw?

O: Exactly. And they like to keep small animals with them, even small predators. They call it “pets”.

*continues for another four minutes, while reading other stuff from a screen*

Y: Slow down… these humans sound really out there. You’re sure they do all that stuff? One species can’t do all that stuff, that’s ridiculous.

O: Kid, we’re like on the first page of the manual. There’s a hundred more pages.

Y: You’re kidding me, right?

Please invade the earth. You’ll take better care of it than humans.

Is this an order to attack? My team and I are on a scouting mission, we are not prepared for combat. Recent data suggests humans are more dangerous than we previously believed. What is your ranking? Who approved this?

He’s so talented! Reblog for amazing rolls, and crits all night.