Reblogging Because Holy Fuck We All Need To Read This.

...What incident?

Wow I wasn’t expecting to wake up and hear the big news that im STILL the coolest motherfucker in the North

Yo, I want this

All the children born over the last year are going to grow up deeply and profoundly bored with hearing about how they were born during a global pandemic

IT’S A  R  A  T

still thinking bout antique perfume bottles…

It do be like that sometimes

I wish I could hyperfixate on things that are useful for me. Like how to fix cars or building stuff. But I'm stuck with flying robotic lions and two men that aren't real

Yeah, I'll take a potato of luck

Woah woah woah, back up, again???

my entire living space smells like garlic and I don’t know why

Reblog if your blog is boopable-safe so you can get all the (probably new) achievements. I don’t care about notes I just want boops

Oh no, I was fully aware. I just wanted to be helpful, so I didn’t care

You rescue many different animals not knowing they are mythical creatures. That weird bird you rescued a month ago was a Phoenix. Your dog? Cerberus. That fox you impulsely got was a kitsune. They also all agree to look over you.

Because your silly little dance pleases us, jinglely goo.

*opens my 2nd set of teeth*

I’m sorry, you what? I-

HOW?

As a teenager I was pretty unimpressed with adults giving each other tours of their homes and kitchens, but as an adult I now understand this is the equivalent of inviting your friends over to see all your toys and that’s chill actually