It’s Kind Of Insane That The Main Father Figure Joffrey Had Around Was Daemon, That Kid Definitely

Sometimes a family is you, your 200-year-old mom, her sad robot boyfriend, your dead father, your other dead father who your mom says was really your brother

Your uncle/fourth dad, your cousin/brother, his dead mom

A noir detective, his secretary, his weird brother from Maine, and your evil cyborg fifth dad who haunts his brain

The Irish pit fighter who doesn’t like you but follows your mom around like a puppy

A French medical researcher who’s also a robot

A militiaman with clinical depression

Your weird uncle you think might be a shapeshifter

A reporter and her 12-year-old sister

A cool drug-abusing mayor with no skin and a bodyguard who might be his daughter

The sad robot boyfriend’s one (1) friend, also sad

Your mom’s estranged grandson the Terminator

A handful of neighbors including a mechanic, a couple with lots of emotions, a former fortune teller, and the guy whose personality is “salesman for a company that no longer exists”

Your seventh parent the butler (actually a robot this time)

The dog who’s a part-time detective, the cat your mom stole off a giant airship, and the giant cannibalistic ogre who functions more like a pet than the other two.

And that’s okay.

Fallout 4: Companion Age HCs

Cait: 25. She was sold to slavery at a very young age, and (ignoring the whole Psycho addiction) she seems young.

Curie: 31. I believe synths are usually made near the age of 30, as there's not a lot of visual changes in the body for some time in that period.

Danse: 27. He looks older than he is (PTSD amirite) but I don't think BoS soldiers, especially ones that actually go into battle, last very long.

Deacon: mid-40s. One of the oldest in the list. He has seen some shit.

Dogmeat: 2. A strapping young lad!

Hancock: 40-something. He stopped counting after going ghoul.

MacCready: 23 (canon)

Nick Valentine: 50's. He has that Dad Vibe™.

Piper: 26. College student vibes.

Preston: 24. Surprisingly young, definitely doesn't act like it. A prime example of the term "old soul", partly because like Deacon, he has seen some shit.

X6-88: 30's. Synth reasons.

Longfellow: 67. Not old enough to feel like a grandpa, but bordering on it.

Gage: 36. He's practically a senior citizen by raider standards, only got this far cuz he's smarter than most (and refuses to do any drugs ever).

Maxson: 20 (canon). Looks 30, probably due to stress (and his raging alcoholism)

Desdemona: 33. Insanely smart and experienced.

Ronnie Shaw: 50s. Self proclaimed old dog.

Mason: 25. Blood of his enemies keeps him strong.

Nisha: 20. Covers her face to hide her age.

Mags Black: 28.

William Black: 26.

the influence that cracked after hours had on my personality being this insufferable cannot be understated.

HOBWs room at the begining of 3 is so funny to me because like... Logan had bestie in the fucking corner? Their room is realtively easy for the public to access, they're right above the kitchens and at until they beat Logan they have to go through said kitchen to enter the main part of the castle. Like excuse me?? Why can't they be in the house with everyone else???

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

Random Fo4 Companions Headcannons.

With no explanation or order, because I said so.

Gage fucking hates coconut. Also tatos/tomatoes. And he's never eaten muscles/clams/squid but you couldn't make him. Honestly I see him being more of a picky eater than he would ever admit to. If you took him to a red lobster he'd sit in the bar with nothing and noticibly and angrily glare at you or the lobsters the whole time.

Danse loves kids, teaching them, working with them ect. But not only is he socially awkward as all hell, he's naturally a bit commanding which to kids is scary and to teens is annoying. He's aware of this, but has no idea how to mediate it so he just, "heyyyy....champ?"

Cait is the same way with kids but she just dips.

Playing poker with deacon would be like holding a staring contest with a statue.

Having a staring contest with x6 would be like playing poker with deacon.

A poker match or staring contest between deacon and x6 is like taping bread jamside up to a cat.

Dogmeat does that thing that cats do and tries to sit/sleep right on your chest and suffocates you.

Strong loves playing with toys, and wishes he had someone to play fight with. Also he understands that he's a super mutant and still feels like humans should be food, but still doesn't know why people don't like him and it makes him sad.

Piper is evil.

Preston sleeps in the fetal position. He also overheats a lot, but then gets cold, so sleeping soundly is an event for him. He would also make the best educator, of any level. Mainly cause he's clear and precise but also cause if you're stupid (like me) he doesn't get mad if you need things explained.

Ada is actually capable of moving faster but simply chooses not to.

Curie has a crush on Danse, but doesn't understand what that is emotionally so she just likes to watch him and try to learn about him. Danse finds this unerving and weird, but she's essentially harmless so he doesn't make her stop.

Old Longfellow is very lonely and just wants someone to tell stories to. (This might just be cannon ngl)

Codsworth is in denial about the bombs and the death of soles spouse and Shaun being gone. Synth Shaun wouldn't be able to shake him, and if ss chooses a romantic partner, codsworth is both very overly chummy with them, but also super passive-aggressive aggressive towards them.

Ham cooked loves lotion and stuff. Obviously it doesn't really do anything for him, but it's like cat nip to him. He just wants to rub it all over his face.

MacCready(how tf is ur name spelled dude???) sucks at taking care of others people's kids. He'll fight them, but like on their own level.

Kid: "you're a meanie!"

Mac: "Well YOU'RE A POOP FACE!"

*collective gasps and oooo's from other kids watching*

okay, there's a trend that came and went on tiktok a while ago of people reading their lists of modern day things they think characters would have loved if it were in their time. i will never EVER get tired of watching them and those vids heavily inspired this post 😭 (ALSO FIRST WRITING SINCE IVE BEEN BACK LETS GOOOO)

so without further ado...

rip thorin's company, you would have loved... (pt. 1)

thorin

r.i.p. thorin, you would have loved lord huron

rick grimes from the walking dead

wet brushes

google maps

making a secret thirst trap account on tiktok

bilbo

r.i.p. bilbo, you would have loved trader joes

ring doorbells

facebook neighborhood watch

swiffer wet jet

keeping up with the kardashians

gandalf

r.i.p. gandalf you would have loved life360

caines chicken

st. louis city museum

grammarly

child harnesses

fìli

r.i.p. fìli, you would have loved Instagram reels

sad older sibling tiktoks

caseoh

0.5x pictures

hello kitty/sanrio girls

kìli

r.i.p. kìli you would have loved mewing

native hair wash

tiktok

snapchat streaks

photodumping on instagram

dwalin

r.i.p. dwalin you would have loved planet fitness

to catch a predator with jim hansen

the will smith slap drama

dude wipes

teenage mutant ninja turtles

balin

r.i.p.balin you would have loved ibuprofen

turbotax

eBay

low quality inspirational quotes on facebook

air fryers

bofur

r.i.p. bofur you would have loved impractical jokers

the superbowl

cringey minion memes

andy bernard from the office

snoop dog

ori

r.i.p. ori you would have loved minecraft

selling stuff on etsy

aesthetic pinterest boards

the perks of being a wallflower

spotify premium

dori

r.i.p. dori you would have loved five minute crafts

the pioneer woman cookbook

abba

hgtv

temu

(i forgot there's a 10 image limit😞)

lemme know if you guys want a part 2 !! it feels great getting to write whatever i want again!! love you guys so much!! also please send me requests cause i need to get these creative juices back into the flow of things 😭🙏 thank you! 🩷💘💞🌷🌸🌺

tag list : @kumqu4t @tolkien-fantasy @blueberryrock @to-be-frank-i-dont-care @luna-xial @legolaslovely @fizzyxcustard @pistachiozombie @imaginexhobbit @beenovel