“Death And The Lady” By Joseph Hall (1906)

I see no lies.

"a joy to have in class" aka This Child Will Not Be Diagnosed for at least Eight Years

I’m on my lunch break at work, so here’s my opinion on whether or not you could successfully get Fallout 4 companions with a ligma joke.

• Cait - You’d have to get real fucking creative because she’s heard a metric fuck ton of ligma jokes. I’m not sure you’d actually want to succeed though because she *would* make you (or at least your kneecaps) regret that accomplishment.

• Codsworth - You could definitely get him with some. Any attempt after your first one that he successfully picked up on would be met with a disappointed response of “Ligma balls, Mr. ____?”

• Curie - You could get her with literally every attempt. She’ll never understand why you think it’s funny and she’ll have very literal questions about it. “But why does it remind you of ligma balls? Why would you tell me to lick them?”

• Paladin Danse - It’s 50/50 on whether or not you succeed. He is a military man, after all. He’ll never dignify you with a reaction to it though, just ignoring you to focus on the task at hand.

• Deacon - You’ll never get this man with a ligma joke. It’s just not possible. It’s not even that he always knows what you’re doing, he’s just so suspicious of anything anyone says that he’ll derail the conversation with some ridiculous story about how he had to change his face after an operation failed due a ligma outbreak or something.

• Dogmeat - He’s not capable of understanding ligma jokes, but he likes hearing you laugh so he’s a fan of you cracking them.

• Hancock - You’ll probably never get him with one, but he’d be absolutely thrilled if you could. Anytime you try to get him, he just says the punchline himself and makes a suggestive remark about how all you need to do is name the time and place.

• MacCready - You can get him, but it will come at the cost of inciting a full scale war. He will become obsessed with formulating strategies to get you with ligma jokes. All your conversations with him will be nothing but ligma set ups. He’ll have a blast though.

• Valentine - You could probably get him at least once, but regardless of whether or not you succeed the reaction would be the same. Just a tired, slightly amused “Really?”

• Piper - You could get her with a ligma joke exactly *one* time. After that she will be so paranoid that she will never continue a conversation with you after any suspicious statement until she’s thoroughly grilled you about your intentions.

• Preston - You can get him, but he will be so disappointed. Both in you and in himself. It won’t be a fun time.

• Strong - Not only can you get him with a ligma joke, you can also convince him that it has something to do with the milk of human kindness. This will inevitably and hilariously lead to him telling people that he “needs ligma balls to drink human milk”.

• X6-88 - You can’t really get him because he will confidently tell you that whatever you’re referencing is nonsense. The institute has no record of ligma and has done thorough scans of the commonwealth so no such thing exists.

• Ada - You could totally get her with a ligma joke but like, why would you? Maybe take some time to reflect on why you want to do this.

• Old Longfellow - There’s no way he’s falling for it. Ligma jokes are older than the commonwealth and he’s heard his fair share. He doesn’t begrudge the attempt though.

• Porter Gage - About one in every four attempts will land, and he’ll enjoy each one. He’s always looking for more to add to his repertoire.

Anyways, my break is about over so have fun with this I guess.

She commits arson every night before she goes to sleep <3<3

sole: can you not stand so close you’re making me claustrophobic

maccready: what’s claustrophobic

hancock: it means they’re scared of santa claus

sole: no it doesn’t—

maccready: HO HO HO

hancock: RJ STOP YOURE SCARING THEM

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

he’s literally a genius

trans guy who doesn’t realize he’s turning into a werewolf because he assumes it’s all just normal side effects of starting testosterone