Shorthands For Dumbassery That I Have Grown To Love Deeply

Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?

Ngl I was not prepared for where this was going

my brain at 3 am

A funny thing about magical girl media is that folks who are broadly aware of the genre but don't take it in tend to assume Pretty Cure is the most G-rated of the lot, based on the fact that it's got brighter colours, frillier costumes, and generally younger-looking protagonists than average – then you actually watch the fight scenes and those squeaky middle schoolers are doing Bruce Lee shit to the monsters.

Dumb Game idea

I don't know how long this will be, or if someone already thought about it, but here i go:

A game that could be part of the Uncharted or Tomb Raider (recent one) series (with an Evil Organisation tm ) where you find something ancient. [Nothing supernatural in it btw, it's just worth being put in a museum, but the organisation doesn't know that. They think it is supernatural.]

BUT you're an ordinary hiker, not like an archeology nerd either, you just really like mountain climbing and have dumbass energy

I keep thinking the protag should be in full gear, so you can imagine their apparance, they're just cold, okay?

And when I mean full gear, I imagine the ski mask + googles, scarf, gloves, the whole outfit, you know?

The only true distinctive feature should be the body type, only because it's a game mechanic:

3 types: petite, average and... okay, I don't know how to call it, so chunk will do for now

So let's say, you'll go for a petite/slim play style, in that case, it's more advantageous to be stealthy, more acrobatic, fissures are your domain (exploration >:D). Enemies will be physically stonger but you'll be faster. Less stamina but harder to wrangle and to grip and more places to hide

Average is...boring, let's face it, it's an all-around type of thing, you played Tomb Raider or Uncharted or both? Congrats, you played average mode :)

I have nothing against them, of course, people do have their preferences. I never even played them :( For me, it's just... forget the protag one second and tell me it's not basically the same game story wise...

Average mode is still of course for players who never got to enjoy those games, it doesn't have access to petite's only and chunk's only passageways, but you can still enjoy

Chunk's mode is more fighting-heavy. You have more stamina, can move small boulders you otherwise couldn't but it's just the opposite version of petite's mode. You can knock out in one hit an opponent but you're easier to wrangle (more grip on you) and god help you if you try to be stealthy , you'll just look ridiculous

Bonus: maybe a bad route? You can decide to help the Evil organisation (tm) in the early game onwards, the whole game would be without "enemies" but I'm thinking last act of the game,they'll just get rid of you, you straight up die if you don't fight back. Also, I don't think a whole ass version of the game to fit each mode would be right, just... the same layout but with different button prompts for the mode you use, okay?okay

alternatives to "ladies and gentlemen"

cads and wastrels

fellow scoundrels

ladies, gentlemen, and interesting miscellanea

beloved friends & tolerated acquaintances

entities of interest

paying audience members & assorted freeloaders

the fbi's most and least wanted

discerning guests & those of you with fuck all else to do on a tuesday evening

esteemed gutter filth

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!