One Of My Favourite Linguistic Phenomena/in-jokes Is Spanish Potato Chips Being “ham-flavored, Probably”

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

Batmans "No Metas In Gotham" rule but all of his kids (the batboys in particular) are secretly Metas. A silly AU

Obviously, Dick has weird contortionist stuff going on. He's an acrobat gymnastic, he can twist any part of his body into a pretzel. But that doesn't explain him being able to squeeze into a vent system that even rats struggle to get through. When Bruce finds an 11 year old boy crying through the vents "daaaad I got stuck" he did not expect to find that Dick managed to squeeze himself through 20 feet of 6 inch wide 3 inch tall ductwork into a small pocket meant for a fan. Bruce was left questioning for months if Dick somehow popped a joint to do it, but nope... Dick just straight up has squishy bones. It's an at will thing, so no one's ever noticed it before. Bruce only finds out when Dick yells "think squishy thoughts!" to try and help Bruce free himself from a Joker death trap, and when questioned, is like, "Yeah.. my mom taught me to."

Jason gets mild elemental control. Nothing insane or super noticeable, but he manages to stay completely dry even during rainy patrol nights, fires seem to naturally pull towards him when he walks past them, lights flicker if he gets too emotional, ect. Bruce only found out Jason could do any of this stuff after Jason died and came back. It was raining hard that night. Bruce found his should be dead son. But Jason was dry as a bone. Half of Gotham was missing power, the street lights flickering madly every time the fight moved further down the street. The explosive Jason planted in the helmet seemed to be an all-consuming everlasting flare that was hell-bent burning Bruce.

Tim has night vision. It's not the most impressive or cool or weird, but it's so very helpful. The way Bruce figures it out is he finds Tim in the pitch black batcave, writing away in a notebook while reading some old case files from pre modern batcomputer era where Bruce had written down everything himself. He was attempting to solve cold cases in the dark. At first, Bruce is like "well maybe his eyes adjusted," but no. I (Seth) have been caving/spelunking irl before, it's really fun, but it's So. Fucking. Dark. It's literally impossible to see at all, even when your eyes slightly adjust. He starts to freak out the rest of the batfam by wandering the manor at night without any lights. Sick Tim, standing over Bruce's bed in the pitch black going "I threw up" in the most pained voice ever and Bruce nearly shits himself.

Damian is all sorts of fucked up and weird and I'm not saying the Lazarus Pit was involved, but why else does Damian have an utterly insane healing factor? It's basically impossible to cut him cuz it's like his flesh instantly heals. At first Bruce is convinced that Damian was just taught really well for an 8 year old kid, dodging so many hits, until he realized that actually Damian was incredibly sloppy, he just never worried about getting hit cuz he healed so fast. One time, his hand got chopped off and Bruce was about to have a mental breakdown cuz "Oh god I failed my son." And Damian just holds up his already reforming hand like "father, chill the fuck out."

headcanon that Bruce is worried about his kids who don’t live with them and who he no longer gives an allowance to. Specifically Dick and Jason. But they’re too proud and “self-sufficient” to ever accept any money Bruce tries to give them,,,,,, so Bruce gets . . . creative.

jason: *walking through his apartment* Jason: *grabs Jane Austen book* *five hundred dollars spills onto his lap from inside the book* Jason: Jason: what the fuck, Bruce

Dick: *tired af* Dick: *pours himself the sugariest cereal in his cabinet* *a check labeled “for the dentist you will obviously need* Dick: Dick: I’ll deal with this once I’ve had coffee

Jason: *putting on a show for a few watching criminals* get outta the Alley, Bat! Bruce: I need information first, Hood. Jason: *internally thinking “this is not part of the script!”* what d’ya want? Bruce: the locations of Penguin’s goons. Jason: *rattles off locations, assuming Bruce just wants to draw out the act* Bruce: *nods solemnly and hands him four hundred dollars* for your trouble *disappears* Jason: Jason: *mutters under his breath* I swear to god Dick: *walking down the street* a little boy: hey mister!!! Dick: uh—hello? Are you okay, kid? What’s up? Boy: some dude in a really fancy suit asked me t’ give you this! *hands him an envelope that is obviously money* Dick: Dick: *smiling through gritted teeth* ah, thanks. Um where did you say he was? Kid: *shrugs* Dick: here. Just take the envelope to your mom, okay? Jason: *going through paperwork for a case* his goons: *knock on the door* Jason: come in goons: uh, hood, sir— Jason: *raises eyebrow* yeah? Goons: we just got . . . Paid? Jason: by who??? Ain’t I payin’ ya? Goons: exactly. So uh, we don’t know where the’ money came from. But it’s a shit ton. Jason: *sighs* and why are you even coming to me about this? Why not take the money for yourselves? Goons: there was a post it on th’ bills sayin’ “I’ll know if this does not reach Hood”. Writing was crap. Jason: *under his breath* fuck

Flower crowns are awesomeee

not rlly proud of how it turned out but might as well post it

Zelda Reacts Part 6

this has been about 90% finished for such a long time lmao, but hopefully the wait was worth it!! omg it was so fun drawing Link in this armour, it's one of my top faves for sure - HE JUST LOOKS SO GOOD ASFJGHDK

Part 5: Snowquill <<< >>> Part 7: Dark Link

Marauders incorrect quotes as things my friends have said(part2):

James: I'm facing this new thing called rejection. 

Remus: Aaaw did your tysm-rizzem not work? 

•

Regulus: why would I want pocket lint?

Barty: To fulfill your pocket lint dreams.

•

McGonagall:We are losing our marbles!

Peter: Did we have them to begin with?

•

Sirius:Our bodies are 70% water. My body is 72% because I have so much drip.

•

Mary to Barty: You are going to be the first gay man in history to make a woman uncomfortable

•

James:looks like your foolproof plan couldn't PROOF MY FOOL

•

Barty: REGULUS JUST DEEPTHROATED A CHEESE STICK!!

•

Marlene: What if we all pitch in and get Sirius a maid costume?

Everyone: YESS

Sirius: I WOULD SLAY IT

Everyone: *cheers* YEESSSSSS!!!

•

James to Remus: You are one of those conspiracy therians, aren’t you?

In the animal kingdom, humans are viewed like witches/warlocks: they MIGHT help you benevolently in your time of need, or they might eat you alive, or they might save you but keep you forever. So you know just how serious things are when they say to you, "Go get a human."

AND YET A TRACE OF THE TRUE SELF EXISTS IN THE FALSE SELF

"I am the last librarian on Earth. The world has forgotten how to read, but I guard the knowledge of humanity in a hidden vault. Today, someone knocked on the door—and they brought a book."