Real

I might start writing for Hazbin Hotel bc I hs watched the episodes and I love Rosie bc she's based on Dolly Levi😭

Sam and Max Nightmare HCs

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You have a Nightmare:

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• Typically, when you 3 actually make it to bed and not the couch, Sam and you will sleep next to eachother while Max sprawls over you both in some overly complicated position- in which he's usually clinging onto you with his feet in poor Sam's face.

• Despite this though, when you begin to writhe or groan in your sleep, Sam always wakes up first. Perhaps it's because of his heightened senses, or his sight of fear, or just Max sleeping like a f*ckin' cow-

• Sam comforts you immidiently, or- the closest he can get to immidiently in his exhausted state, slinging his arms around you gently and putting his nose next to your cheek, prodding the soft skin with his wet, leather nose expectantly, trying to wake you up.

"Y/N.. Y/N, buddy, wake up, you're having a worse nightmare than a ginger in sunny Senegal strapped to a loung-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

• He seems to always get cut off by Max screaming bloody murder, which wakes you up, either because of the screaming or Max's jumping on you, landing on your chest full force. He does this because one more sudden writhe from you wakes him, because he's spoiled.

• No matter what though, they both really do care and try their best to lull you back to sleep. Try. It seems to come especially hard to Max, who smothers you with a pillow until Sam holds him up in the air, all 3 of you panicking for some reason while screaming.

Max has a nightmare:

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• He just doesn't get the chance to have nightmares. He is such a deep sleeper but as soon as he feels the slightest bit uncomfortable or chilly or too warm or- he wakes up. Screaming.

• It's close to being a nightly occurance, living in the city and all. To get Max to stay asleep during the night, you'd need to make him sleep in an asylum.

"3, 2, 1-"

"3, 2, 1-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Good morning Max."

"Morning, little buddy."

• He's such a brat about it aswell, making both you and Sam stay in bed to talk or coddle(yes, I meant to put coddle) him until he's ready to go.

• He actually gets in a massive strop in you don't aswell. He'll huff and puff and complain how you don't love him with his two arms over his chest while he glares.

• He wouldn't do anything though, he hates the entire world as a whole, not you and Sam. Never has been and, hopefully(really, we don't know if he'll ever turn on you two), never will.

• But to conclude things, he's just never really had a nightmare. He's just really annoying and childish, you and Sam love him though, screams and all.

Sam has a nightmare:

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• Sam is the one who rarely has nightmares, but when he does, they're always serious. He dreams about his insecurities, and the worst case scenario that could ever happen because of them.

• A frequent thing he has nightmares about is his weight. It's not like he's obese or overweight, but he would be considered 'fat' in some people's eyes, which makes him less inclined to run or do sports in general. He doesn't like that. Especially when compared to you and whatever you do or Max and his quick paced, undeniable shenanigans.

• He's really still when having a nightmare but not quiet, mumbling and whining out to his hearts unpleasant content. It usually wakes you and Max up, you up because- well- you care, and it wakes Max up because the noise annoyed him. You make sure to cover his mouth before he can scream though.

"Ah- I'll.. no.. I'll put off the weight.. I-"

*muffled screaming*

"Sam, doggy, wake up.."

• When he does wake up, he always feels bad for waking you and Max up, and tries to joke his way out of things before being cuddled by you and Max, with you making sure Max doesn't try anything whilst Sam is in this vulnerable state.

• He'll never tell you about the nightmare though, I'm sure that by time he does wake up, you have a good idea to do with what it was about.

• He'll just sit there as you pamper him, patting Max's head like a nefarious super villain with his cat. He always ends up feeling loved and blushy by time morning rolls around through, he can't help it.

"Well, darn, you two have made me happy as a midget in the kids clothes section."

• . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° •

(Made by neiveel3llson, not you.)

Obey Me! Incorrect quotes

Diavolo trying to convince MC to continue being the babysitter:

NB Diavolo: "What are you talking about MC? You love it here!"

NB MC: "I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome."

Solomon being an old ass man:

NB Solomon: "The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have."

Satan for no reason at all:

NB Mammon: "Do I sound smart, or am I smart? "

NB Satan: "You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest."

Leviathan being depressed:

NB Lucifer: "How are you today?"

NB Leviathan: "Please don’t make me think about my life."

Beelzebub being.. Beelzebub:

NB Beelzebub: "My stomach growled super loud in French."

NB Beelzebub: "I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class."

NB Leviathan: "Bonjour."

NB MC: "Le growl."

NB Mammon: "Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette."

NB MC now that they're a demon:

NB MC: "I am literally evil incarnate."

NB MC: "I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil."

NB MC: "Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort."

Solomon can't cook:

NB Solomon: "I truly go into househusband mode when I'm someone's soulhousemate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning."

NB MC: "This is a lie."

NB MC: "I'm literally living with him. This is a lie."

NB MC: "HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS."

MC just wants to go home:

NB Solomon: "I think I'm falling for you."

NB MC: "Then get up."

Levi is sick of Satan:

NB Leviathan: "Satan is okay."

NB Beelzebub: "He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!"

NB Leviathan: "Beel, Satan threatened me. He threatens Lucifer every day. He probably threatened Diavolo before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair."

Levi self-deprocating:

NB MC: "I'm going the fight the next person who insults Levi."

NB Leviathan: "I hate myself."

NB MC: "Alright, square up."

When MC first came:

NB MC, referring to NB Mammon and NB Diavolo: "Those guys are dorks."

NB Lucifer: "Yes, but they’re my dorks."

Belphegor annoying Lucifer on purpose:

NB Belphegor: "Lucifer, we have a visitor."

NB Lucifer: "Don't tell me it's our babysitter.."

NB Belphegor: "It's MC."

Lucifer being sick of Mammon's shit:

Lucifer: "The greatest trick the diavolo's father ever pulled was changing his name to Mammon."

Mammon bc he's my fav pookie:

Mammon: "So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?"

MC: "Depends. Is your bed comfortable?"

Mammon: "Yes."

MC: "I'd sleep."

Thirteen is going insane:

Thirteen: "Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time."

Diavolo is far too concerned:

*after discussing a plan*

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any questions?"

Diavolo: "Is this legal?"

Barbatos: "Does anyone have any relevant questions?"

Satan loves to boast:

Satan: "I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight."

MC: "What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?"

Satan, already taking off his clothes: "God, MC, you’re so fucking stupid."

It probably wouldn't work anyways:

MC: "Here’s the cold medicine you asked for." *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*

Thirteen: "...Thanks."

Levi and Garfield:

Leviathan: "I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer room in the basement of HOL with Cerberus."

Math doesn't work:

MC: "Which is correct, seven and five is thirteen, or seven and five are thirteen?"

Thirteen: "Niether."

Thirteen: "Because it's twelve."

Venomous or poisonous?:

Lucifer: "If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous."

Mammon: "What if it bites me and it dies?!"

Lucifer: "Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mammon, learn to listen."

Diavolo: "What if it bites itself and I die?"

Lucifer: "That's voodoo."

MC: "What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Lucifer: "That's correlation, not causation."

Asmodeus: "What if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Solomon: "That's kinky."

Barbatos: "Oh my goodness."

:P done

Hello! I saw you were doing Drabble requests and I was wondering if I could request some HCs of being (Welcome Home) Barnaby’s child? Sorryhesmycomfortcharacterahhhhh

Hope you are having a fun day!

Ofcourse, thank u for the request <3

I've had such a shit week and I'm making another character I can project all of my trauma onto

ask and u shall recieve♡

someone draw sam in this please

I rlly need to get on w my million fanfics waiting 2 be written

Barnaby. B. Beagle Drabble

Platonic child!reader ≈` *

Requested by @pastel-pandoll

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?" His heavy accent runs thick as he looks at the much smaller puppet from his spot on balancing on a ball.

"Why do you do what you do?" The small child puppet asks softly, looking down while kicking the felt grass which surrounded their shoes.

"Don't you get.. bored?" They asked in an even softer tone, almost like they were scared to hurt the large dogs feelings.

"'Course not, kid!" The large dog exclaims, jumping off the ball haphazardly, niether him nor the child puppet questioning and it just.. rolls down the hill. Out of sight, out of reach.

"Why d'ya ask?" He put his large, blue paws on his uncovered hips, his body easily towering over the smaller puppet.

"I guess I just can't imagine doing the same thing.. forever." The child reveals, solemly looking off as the sunshine covered ball rolls down the grassy hill. They lived in a practical paradise. An artificial one.

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?"

"I'm bored."

Hello 👋, I hope you're doing well..

My name is Mahmoud, and I'm a 17-year-old from Gaza. The ongoing war has devastated my city, destroyed my school, and made daily life incredibly challenging.

Despite these hardships, I'm determined to continue my education and build a better future. I've been given a chance to study abroad, but I need help to cover the costs of leaving Gaza, as well as living expenses and other essentials abroad once the crossing opens.. 🙏

If you can, please consider donating or sharing, your kindness can truly make a difference, and thanks for your time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/bd3ccf0b 🔗

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Mahmoud from Gaza Pursue His Dreams, organized by Mazin Fakak

Hello, my name is Mahmoud Abu Swierh, and I am a 17-year-old from Al-Nuseirat in … Mazin Fakak needs your support for Help Mahmoud from Gaza

Alfred: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I believe.

Dick: I lost Damian.

Y/N: How did you LOSE Damian?!

Dick: To be fair, he is very small.

Bruce: Did you have to stab them?

Jason: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Bruce: What did they say?

Jason: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Bruce: That’s fair.

Y/N: *screaming while holding something large.*

Dick: *Chasing Y/N, screaming at them to not throw the large object.*

Jason: *Crouching at the car window, begging Damian not to call Bruce.*

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergancy?

Tim: We locked our baby brother in the car and people are judging us!

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Jason: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Tim: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Y/N: if you want information it is

Dick: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Jason: What are you talking about Dick? You love it here!

Dick: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Damian: You need to be more careful!

Bruce, who was dragged into Damian's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

Damian: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Y/N: Those are bones, Damian.

Damian: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Bruce: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Alfred: Sir, did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

Damian: But what about Y/N?

Jason: Don't worry about them.

Jason: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Tim: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Y/N: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Y/N: I just choose to ignore it.

*Playing house with Damian and Jon.*

Jason, at Jon: You're my significant other.

Jon: Yeah I am!

Jason, at Dick: You're my child.

Dick: *Rolls eyes* Yes boss.

Jason, at Tim: You're my bitch.

Tim: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jason, at Y/N: My bestie.

Y/N: Naturally.

Jason, Damian: HA, GAY!

Damian: Fuck you.

Alfred: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Bruce: You mean you stabbed them?

Alfred: They ran into my knife, sir.

Bruce: Breaking News, Dick has disappointed us.

Tim: Why do you look like that?

Damian, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Tim: Like you’re dead.

Damian: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Alfred: Young master Damian accidentally called Y/N “babe” in front of everyone today.

Damian: *sobs into the floor*

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning, young master.

Y/N: Turn the light back off.

Bruce: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm*

Bruce: And I mean it.

Tim: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Y/N: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Dick: That's because she's a prostitute.

Bruce: Tim, why are you crying?

Tim: This book is so sad!!

Bruce, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dick: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Y/N: Why? It was important.

Dick: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Damian, shrugging: The people need to know.

Y/N, to Jason: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Jason: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Y/N: You just told me you're pregnant.

Damian: Congratulations Jason, you're glowing!

Y/N: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

*When Y/N and Jason were young and new.*

Bruce: Where the devil is Alfred?

Y/N: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Tim: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Jason: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Y/N: All good bro, any time.

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce, can you hear me?

Bruce, standing next to Damian: I’m standing right here.

Damian: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Alfred: Perhaps, the true treasure was friendship all along. Although, I hope not, because I cannot spend friendship on new suits.

Damian: You wanna fight?! You got one!

Y/N: Okay! *raises fists*

*Bruce runs in, scoops Y/N up in their arms, and runs away carrying them because he just didnt want them to fight. Yet.*

Damian:

Damian: What?

Y/N: Any questions?

Dick: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Y/N: Uh, a plan, duh...

Damian: Dick, chill, I know it’s weird, but Y/N has a point.

Dick:

Dick: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

*Alternatively*

Joker: Any questions?

Y/N: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Joker: Uh, a plan, duh...

Harley: Y/N, chill, I know it’s weird, but Joker has a point.

Y/N:

Y/N: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Bruce, answering the phone: Hello?

Damian: It’s Damian.

Bruce: What did they do this time?

Damian: No, it’s me, Damian. It’s actually me.

Bruce: What did you do this time?

Dick: Everyone thinks you suck.

Joker: I think you have the wrong number…

Dick: Damian?

Joker: Nope. Joker.

Dick: Well, you probably suck too…

Y/N: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Tim: And?

Y/N: And you are.