Arthur Is What You Would Get If Jon And Martin Did The Gem Fusion Dance Change My Mind

You can’t see this but you have the cold calculated demeanor of someone not to fuck with

Arthur: *calls John a Sour Puss*

Me: *proceeds to lose my fucking mind*

Fuck him up, bestie. Tell him how it is.

“…who?”

GOT ‘IM. ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

Old favorite character divorced, new favorite character acquired.

Clawing my way back up the pipeline to say

Can you imagine a Ghost Hunt UK x Ghost Files collab. The horrifying feedback loop Alex and Shane would make. Jonny putting Ryan’s imagination on steroids…

I’m tearing up just thinking about it

Arthur/John ship call that Detective Peekachu

At some point we have to talk about how Uncle fixed the music box and then sat alone listening to it until he was stabbed in the back by the living embodiment of a dry spaghetti noodle, but instead of snapping him in half, he punted him out of the way, fled, and hid in a bedroom.

Uncle, the guy who was turned into a monster by someone who was supposes to take care of him, and who was made to kill on command. And then got intentionally abandoned in a mansion at night with the aforementioned murderous noodle-man.

okay the thing is Kayne literally speaks abt the fucking patrons and i picked this up last night and it’s been driving me mad bc he. He Is Talking About Us.

Well, us as in the patreon users but ykwim

Ep 20, when they’re talking about Destiny and Choices and blah blah blah, This is what Kayne says

“Nooo nononono its not your choice, or his choice”

and then he says a bit later

“okay it’s not a choice, it’s fate, it’s allll predestined”

what he’s Saying is, it IS a choice, but not for Arthur and John. It IS a choice, for the patrons, but it’s fate for Arthur and John. So talking to them, really, it’s not a choice, for them it is destiny.

There’s also another one that MIGHT be a stretch ?? but idk. This is in Coda

“and there’s nothing in it for me ? yknow, someone outta tell them that coins don’t land on their sides, your friends SUCK at following the rules”

Idk I kinda think the “friends” are the Patrons, and not following the rules could be. the ties in votes, which i think people said gives John another limb ? or could even be the patrons getting Arthur killed with their choices, and he still gets back up.

I only drew this conclusion bc Arthur doesn’t have friends so this is the last thing i could think of.

ANYWAY Kayne knows the patrons exist this motherfucker does the office stare of podcasts and it’s great

All that’s missing is someone in the audience coughing at the end.

STOP MAKING PLANS tho- that’s a narrative guarantee that they won’t happen.

Our lads seem to have forgotten that Arthur conspicuously absconded from the scene of a double murder when he was supposed to be investigating the murder of a little girl. And also having an impressive streak of people in his life suddenly dying. And disappearing after a month-long coma the same night the hospital morgue was broken into and all the lights shattered, with the a murdered woman pulled put of her body drawer. And purchased a gun and fake id. And stole a boat, and the cops who went after him were never seen again.

Fuck shit. Fuck. Not the Parker lore my heeeeaaaaaarrttttt