Clawing My Way Back Up The Pipeline To Say

Malevolent

Some normal fanart for John in yellow

What if Kayne didn’t take another piece of kiy, but split john in half. Gave em the old STOS narratively convenient transporter malfunction. Arthur did say John seemed more sensitive way back in episode- what, 24? 25?

You can’t see this but you have the cold calculated demeanor of someone not to fuck with

Also

“They aren’t our friend”

EXCUSE YOU john. Ur just mad someone’s coming for ur throne. They are our soulmate our bestie the bro we kiss goodnight. I would die for them i would kill for them i am adopting them and we will be together forever thank you very much

…was my reaction in the moment. Before…y’know

divide

Fuck him up, bestie. Tell him how it is.

“…who?”

GOT ‘IM. ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED.

Old favorite character divorced, new favorite character acquired.

I know the timeline doesn't line up. I don't care. Martin and Gerry eould be the most gorgeous couple to exist. Gmart nation rise

It can line up if Martin was dating Gerry BEFORE he died.

Unfortunately I don’t have it written down. I figured it out by ear from mr guthrie’s bandcamp: https://malevolentcast.bandcamp.com/track/faroes-song-piano-only

(Is this how one replies to a reblog? I don’t know how tumblr works lmao)

Ah yes, the brainrot is developing nicely

**All of the Malevolent spoilers (up to 25)**

A Record of MC’s Meat Suit

@neutronbutt

This will by no means be comprehensive, but here are some of the things I noted:

Day 1:

Has a fight with Eddie the Maintenance Man and is nearly strangled to death.

Gets in a car crash. Sounded bad, but even the baby was fine, so…?

Gets stabbed in the abdomen and is in a coma for over a month

Day 2

Is running for his life within an hour of waking up from a coma. That can’t be good for you.

Smacks his head on a boathouse

Gets beaten by cops

Gets shot twice in the gut and once in the chest. Saved by ghost.

Day 3

Smacks head on dock.

Gets blood drawn by cultists. Probably no long term effects. hopefully.

Falls in an old elevator from an unspecified height. Uneven footsteps for some time afterward.

Larvae starts burrowing into arm, burns it out with a lighter

Big river monster draws a substantial amount of blood from abdomen with apparent anti-clotting abilities.

Extraplanar entity attempts to destroy soul. Don’t know if that left a mark.

Bites off the tip of his pinky

Day 4

Sandstorm removes skin from right(?) side of face and damages right(?) eye. Presumably damaged any other exposed skin.

Fights an electricity snake.

Blows up the boat the snake is in

Falls into a big nasty pit. Specifically mentions injuring his back and being unable to walk on his ankle

Falls over a smaller drop of some kind

Gets crushed under a rock- mentions leg and arm are injured

Resets dislocated shoulder with no medical training, being instructed by a being that can barely remember possessing a physical body.

Has fight with own hand. I think another attempt at strangulation

Starved and tortured in a prison in the world of a god of suffering and madness for 3 months

Day 5 ✨

I think he managed to avoid serious injury until leg snap x2 + throat stab, which Kayne fixes

Edit: oh yeah I forgot about frostbite.

“In wind chill of minus 16.6 F (minus 27 C), frostbite can occur on exposed skin in less than 30 minutes.”

So what if like most of your skin is exposed and ur severely underweight and losing copious amounts of blood and occasionally falling unconscious in the middle of a snowstorm on a mountain? 🤔

Day 6

Then there’s just the unspecified leg injury that causes him to pass out. Wow he was really on a roll these past 2 days

An indeterminate time passes, but I’ll call it

Day 7

That’s right, folks, we’ve almost spent a full week with Arty and John

Now it’s just the recent stuff. He says his leg just feels stiff now, and ponders over the drastic recovery 👀

Ear monch

Fall down what sounds like a really long mine shaft. He encounters a lot of shafts huh

Aaaand we’re caught up

Let’s see we’re 2.5 days of strenuous activity (+however long he was unconscious) without food. I suppose that is nothing outside his norm.

Those are most of the major injuries. In the intervening time, he engages in plenty of activities that would result in cuts and bruises. If you want to get real nuanced with your blorbo-crushing you can research the physical effects of chronic stress, coma without proper recovery, and of long-term starvation.

At this point I’m convinced that John is affording him boosted constitution.

[MALEVOLENT 25 SPOILERS]

“WhAT The FUCk IS WRONG WITH YOU, ARTHUR?” I said those words aloud, and I have never meant them so earnestly😞😤 I get it, the absurd amount of trauma is finally catching up to him, but?? ‘You seem more sensitive than before, let me tear into you with the most vicious and personal insult I have thrown at you yet, which is saying something, directly after a deeply traumatizing event.’ APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW ARTHUR. John honey he didn’t mean it, he doesn’t really think that 😭😭😭

And this is only going to get worse, unless Mr. Guthrie decides to take a U-turn on this character arc.

😞🎶 You call it madness… 😞