Headcanon That Soldier Is Trans But He Just. Forgot. So Whenever He Gets His Period He Goes To Beat Up

tears started welling in my eyes I'm so serious right now.

they're silly

RICK PORTAL 2 BACKSTORY TIME !!! Literally have been sitting on all of this for years and its only ever been told to my two friends 👹 so excited to finally have all of it down.

Nothing graphic, but do be warned that it does deal with very dark topics 💥

Rick grew up DEEP in the rural south in a small little religious town. His family was very poor and had upwards of 5 children. His father was very physically and mentally abusive, and his mother was very neglectful and quiet. He was never close with any of his siblings, and his brothers didn't do much more than add to his problems. 

He started drinking and smoking from about the age of 10, as most boys did in their town. They would all meet up in groups and share goods they stole from their parents and from corner stores.

Through everything, the only real comfort he had was movies--westerns and action flicks. They were too poor to own a TV, so he would sneak into movie theaters and drive-ins. It was a big inspiration for the person he wanted to be when he grew up and served as a good mental escape. He wanted to eventually leave this town and travel the world with nothing but the clothes on his back and a dream.

The only real friend he had through it all was Teddy. Rick was a troubled kid and could be a bit mean due to his upbringing, but Teddy was the one person he was always nice to. Something about him made him soft. They were best friends since they were toddlers and while other people came and went, those two always stuck together and stayed close. 

Somewhere along the way, their relationship ended up becoming romantic. They were so young that the whole thing was confusing, but they knew well enough to keep it a secret from everyone else. Rick knew that something was deeply wrong with it and it always ate up at him inside and made him ashamed, but Teddy didn't have a care in the world. Rick made him happy and that was all that mattered.

Then when Rick turned 16, he decided that he'd had enough with school and church and his parents. He was ready to leave it all behind--but he wasn't going to bring Teddy. Teddy had a sister he was really close with, and more friends than Rick had. He had more to lose and Rick didn't want him uprooting his whole entire life for him. 

So Rick broke things off with Teddy and told him never to tell another soul what had happened between them and to forget the whole thing, forget Rick. Then he jumped onto a boxcar train and left town.

He was homeless for a good bit, but managed to get a small job that gave him enough money to save up for an old, broken down truck that he lived out of. He never stayed in one place too long, hopping around and getting jobs here and there, stealing off of folks in town to get enough for food. 

Rick had a hard, but very adventurous and rewarding few years out on the road, but at the end of it all, he couldn't find anyone even close to Teddy. It wasn't the same without him around and Rick decided that maybe it was worth a shot going back and seeing if somehow Teddy was still in the town they grew up in. 

Rick drove back, now a full grown adult, hoping there was a way that he'd still want to talk to him again. But when he got back to town and asked around, it turned out that Teddy wasn't as great at keeping the secret as he hoped. 

Teddy had tried to flirt with a man at a bar, and he didn't take too kind to it. His friends dragged Teddy outside and beat him to death, where his family found his body a few days later. By the time Rick got back to town, Teddy was long buried in a small marked grave. 

It really fucked with Rick's head. After that, he buried everything that happened between them deeeep deep down and honestly just convinced himself it never happened. They were kids and they didn't know what they were doing. 

After that, Rick went a lot harder on traveling around with the intent of meeting people to have one night stands with in maybe some hopes of further cementing the fact that he only liked women. 

He already had a problem with drinking before, but it got worse and worse as years went on. Most of his money went straight back into drinks. He couldn't keep any sort of job for more than a few days because he was constantly day drinking, showing up wasted. 

It was a great big blur for a lot of years of sleeping with women, getting fucked up on drugs, driving drunk, waking up places he didn't remember. He got into a lot of fights, most of which he started himself (definitely didn't have a weird thing where he liked fighting because it was the only time he got to touch a man.... cus that would be WEIRD ASF 🗣🗣🗣 AND MAKE HIM A FREAK.) All the while he was living out of the same truck he'd gotten at 16 which constantly needed repairs. He hardly had enough money for gas, so he usually had to siphon it from other cars. Times were ROUGH

Then one day, he met a very nice, charming man at a bar. They hit it off right away, spent the whole night talking and drinking and dancing. It felt so nice and familiar in a way that Rick couldn't place, until at one point the man tried to make an advance on him. A deep, primal panic rose inside him and Rick immediately got LIVID, punching the guy right in the face and cussing him out in the middle of the bar, calling him names and slurs before leaving once the bartender told him to.

Rick felt a deep emptiness and strange longing that he hadn't felt since he was a little kid. He thought about it for days--more than anything the fact how much he really, really did want to go home with that man. 

That was when he decided that he couldn't do this anymore. He was getting too old to be living out of his truck. He hadn't had a real home since he was a kid, and that mixed with all of the drugs and high stakes adventures and fights, he was going to drive himself into an early grave. 

It was time that he got an actual job, and an actual home. And maybe that would help distract him from thinking too much about that nice man at the bar. 

After driving around and searching, eventually he ended up at Aperture. Nice easy desk job, impossible to get fired from, and hours and hours of overtime. He luckily ended up landing a cheap apartment because he was able to seduce the owner of the building into a lower rate and flexible payments. 

Rick still had a hard time with showing up to work drunk and slacking off, but at the very least he had a roof over his head. 

new headcanon: engie speaks spanish but he speaks it like this

Robot who misunderstands and gets offended when you call them hot and starts rambling on about their highly efficient cooling mechanisms and wow they look really cute bragging like this

💥Head count!💥

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

me like heavy n sniper interactions... even tho they don't exist so i had to make myself one!!!

this is an idea from 2021 :D please enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

e x t r a s:

draft from 2021 - october 2024

PANEL REDRAW!!!!

i hope my first contribution to this ship gives you all diabetes.

using your boyfriend as a perch to taunt from #justthelittlesniperthings

my favorite video of all time ever