Mrlocusss - Locus/Yakov(Yasha) - Any/ask ᯓ ꩜ .ᐟ

he eats

I haven't seen many bodyguard type of prompts so...may I ask for one?

List of “so now I apparently have someone who’s supposed to protect me because I’m incapable of protecting myself” prompts

“I’ll protect you, I swear.” “Well, you’d better, because you’re not getting paid if I die.” 

“Now, why would they hire you as my bodyguard? You look like you’d break in half if someone so much as kicked you.” “Well, my blackbelt says otherwise.” 

“You have a soft spot for me, don’t you?” “I don’t.” “You answered too quickly for that to be the truth.”

“I didn’t realise you were this soft.” “I’m not soft.” “Sure, keep lying to yourself then.” 

“Don’t fucking die on me, I swear to God!” “…It’s literally a paper cut, I’m fine.” “Yeah, but— but a paper cut can still cause life threatening complications!” 

“People think you’re scary but really, you’re just a soft marshmallow, all soft and mushy on the inside and burnt on the outside.” “…Are you comparing me to a roasted marshmallow?” 

“I didn’t ask for you to protect me! I didn’t— I didn’t ask for any of this.” 

“I don’t want you getting hurt because of me anymore, so I’m firing you. You’ll no longer work for me.” “That’s not for you to decide. I’m staying right here until I’m absolutely sure you’ll be okay.” “…Why the hell do you have to be so stubborn? What part of I don’t want you getting hurt don’t you understand?!” 

“I think you can use those strong arms of yours to do plenty of other things with me, if you catch my drift.” 

“You’re paid to care about me, let’s not forget that, so don’t overstep your boundaries.” 

“I asked you to teach me how to defend myself, but how the fuck did we end up in this very weird and very compromising position and most important of all, why do I kind of like it?”

“Why the fuck are they standing in the room while we’re trying to get it on?” “Well, they’re… They’re supposed to be there to protect me so I can’t do much about it.” “What, so they’re just gonna watch us fuck?”

“You know you don’t have to keep watch over me all the time, right? Especially when I’m about to go to town with someone.” “They might end up harming you for all I know; I’m not risking it.”

“Just admit it: you’re jealous because I’m out here fucking around with other people and you don’t want that to happen.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I said get out of the way! What are you doing?!” “I can’t let you get hurt.” “And I can’t let you get hurt, either!”

“My job is to protect you so if you think I’m doing this because I care then you’re wrong.” “Don’t— you don’t mean that.” 

“You’re like, the only friend I have, even though you’re paid to be here. So, please don’t leave…”

“It’s not about the money anymore. It’s because I fucking care about you. So please, don’t tell me to leave, and please don’t tell me to not get hurt because I won’t be able to bear it if you’re the one who gets hurt.” 

“Why do you care, anyway?” “Because I’m kind of paid to do so and if I don’t, then I lose my job? And your family pays well, so…”

“Tell me you don’t feel the same way as I do.” “…I’m not supposed to feel the same way as you do.” 

“What are you doing?! Put me down!” “Not until you promise me you won’t run away again.” 

“Fuck! Why’d you kick me?! I was literally just injured—” “Don’t you fucking do that again, you asshole!” “But it’s my job—” “I don’t care, just stop getting injured because of me! How are you supposed to protect me if this keeps happening?!” “But that’s the point of what I do. It’s why I’m even here in the first place.” 

“I leave for five seconds and you end up in the hospital. Are you kidding me?” “Look, I thought I could climb that tree to save that poor kitten. I’ll have you know I was an agile kid back then!” “…My God, what am I going to do with you?” 

“I swear if you actually die—” “Relax, it’s just a bullet to the leg. I’ll survive.” “You idiot—”

“You’re stressing me the hell out and I’ve only been doing this for a week.” 

“How stupid are you?! You could have died!” “…Are you yelling at me right now?” “Only because I’m worried about you.” “Since when did you ever worry about me?” “Since the very fucking start, that’s when.” 

“Can you pretend to value your life for one goddamned second so I don’t have to constantly worry about you?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” “I’m tired. Can’t you piggyback me?” “No.” …. “You can never say no to me, can you?” “Shut up.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone while I’m fucking crying?!” “…I’ve a feeling that’s the exact opposite of what you want.”

“God, why don’t you ever listen to me? Stay. Don’t go.”

“Why do I have a feeling you’ve never learned to ask for things nicely?”

“It was the danger of the situation which caused a sudden rush of adrenaline which caused me to kiss you so it didn’t actually mean anything!”

“I’m grateful to you for protecting me but I also want you to take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Fuck, wake up— I told you not to die for me—”

“…That goes beyond what a usual bodyguard would do and I think you’re well aware of that.”

“You sometimes make me feel like a damned babysitter.”

“You were hired to watch over me. You do realise that, right? So I want you to keep your eyes on me at all times.” 

“You’re always so gentle with me. Why? Do you think I’m that fragile?” 

“Since you’re responsible for my life anyway, why not become responsible for me as a whole?”

“Are we going to pretend like you didn’t confess to me because you thought I was dying?” “Well, you ended up okay so it doesn’t count. People say stupid things when they’re panicking.” 

“Why are you straddling me?” “Because I’m practicing self-defence?” “I can easily throw you off of me. You know that, right?” “But I know you wouldn’t.”

“You know I like it rough, right?” “…Excuse me?” “Well, considering the position we’re in, I think we can take advantage of that, no?” 

“This is strictly a client-customer relationship.” “That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

“Your clumsiness is your biggest enemy at this point.” “I’m not that clumsy!” “This is the third time you’ve injured yourself this week.”

“Really, what are you going to do without me here, making sure you don’t accidentally knock yourself out?” 

“You want me to stay?” “Just… For tonight. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“You make me worry for everyone else’s safety.” 

“Can’t you stay?” “My job here is done. There’s no reason for me to stay—” “Not even for me?” 

“You need to let loose a little. Look at you! You’re so tense! How can you live like that?” … “Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t let loose too much. Lesson learned.” 

“You’re scaring everyone away!” “Well, it’s good to know I’m a natural threat eliminator.” 

“You were hurt because of me.” “As long as you’re safe then it doesn’t matter what happens to me.” 

“…I get you’re trying to take care of me but have you considered leaving me alone? I think I can recover quicker that way.” “But you nearly died protecting—” “I think I might actually die if I have to eat one more meal made by you.”

“I don’t get paid enough for this.” 

“You’re going to be the death of me and I mean that literally.” 

“I don’t need you.” “What happened just then proves you otherwise.” 

“You did not have to hit them that hard. They weren’t even a threat!” “You didn’t seem comfortable talking to them so I had to do something about it. It’s in my job description.” 

“How about I be your bodyguard for one day? Like, a role reversal thing?” “Not if I want us both to stay alive.” 

“Wait, why are you leaving?” “Because you’re about to change and I’m not going to stand around watching that happen.” “What if someone climbs through the window and tries to kill me? Will you take responsibility for that?”

”If you really do think of me as just your cliental or whatever the fuck you want to call me then there was no reason for you to kiss me that hard back there.”

“If you’re the one who protects me, then who’s going to protect you?” “I don’t need protecting, unlike some people. For one, I don’t trip over thin air on a daily basis.” “…You know what? Fuck you.” 

You don't have to apologize, or perform authorial disgust, for dark, violent, sexual, cruel or problematic topics in the fiction you create.

Fiction does not exist to teach an audience a moral lesson. You as an author are not required to be your audience's moral teacher.

You can have bad things happen-- you can have a protagonist who is bad-- without having to explain to your audience that they are bad.

The Five Stages of Grief

Denial - "This can't be happening" // "I'm going to wake up any minute...it's only a nightmare..." // "None of this real, it can't be!" // "There's been a mistake!" // "They...they wouldn't leave me like this, they'll come rescue me, they will!"

Anger - "You can't do this to me!" // "Fuck you, you fucking psychopath!" // "I don't have to listen to you!" // "You're a goddamn coward!" // "Let me out of here so I can break your neck!" // "You'll be sorry when they come find me, creep!"

Bargaining - "Please, no, anything but that!" // "N-not the cattle prod, please, I'll do whatever you want!" // "No, don't hurt them! Hurt me instead, I can take it!" // "I'll let you touch me however you want just please don't use that!" // "I'll tell you whatever you want if you just let me go!"

Depression - "Do whatever you want, what's the point?" // "I don't think I have anything left to scream for you" // "Just kill me and get it over with" // "Just...just leave me alone..." // "Why are they taking so long to find me? Don't they care? Don't they love me?"

Acceptance - "I knew I deserved this..." // "I'll be good, I promise" // "I love you, too" // "They were never looking for me, were they?" // "Yes, sir/ma'am" // "What do you mean 'leave'? I can't leave, that's against the rules"

i love silly whump. i love a character who is obviously hurt/unwell but still goes "im fine guys!! dont worry!!" and then family guy falls. i love a scrawny character getting picked up by the scruff of their neck and flailing around before resigning themselves to their fate. we need more silly whump.

#imcrying

Humans being the first. Not the strongest or the smartest or the weirdest or the most violent. Just the first.

We called out into the dark over and over. We sent out messages in hopes. We searched every planet we could reach, in hopes of any sign of life. Any at all.

We thought, hoped we were the last, because we couldn’t bear the idea of being the one ones this awake and alive in a world as vast as this.

And we died alone.

When the others are born, many many years later, they find us, everything we left for them.

They recover The Golden Record and look at it a million times over, they dig up our fossils and put us in museums, they study us for years and years, loving us as we love our ancestors’ painted hands on cave walls.

In a lot of their languages, the word they use for us has the same root for “mother”.

OKAY MY FIRST TUMBLR POST I WAS CASUALLY LIKING POSTS THEN REMEMBERED HOLY SHIT I HAVE THIS ART AND DAMMMNN WHY NOT HAPPY PRIDE MONTH LOVELY LGBTQ+ FELLAS U ALL SO GRE AT ID EAT U FROM LOVE

yaaaay I’m so happy I’ll get a therapist when I finally gonna arrive home 💀

Sorry for the spam WOjshaahjajs *flee away*

196 archive: April 2nd 2022