“They Don’t Want You.” “It’s Not Safe Out There.” “They Don’t Care About You.” Whumper

Another probably-human-probably-not Soundwave 😌 maybe a holoform? well this might be the same Soundwave as my other design tbh. Just with a different fit cuz he’s fashionista/j; this was mostly cuz of the veil idea for the mask I thought of today 🤔 I thought it went hard so I wanted to get it out there. That waist of hers is insane

i love silly whump. i love a character who is obviously hurt/unwell but still goes "im fine guys!! dont worry!!" and then family guy falls. i love a scrawny character getting picked up by the scruff of their neck and flailing around before resigning themselves to their fate. we need more silly whump.

Captain, i frew up...

A gek @vcr-wolfe found that i love

An art for a friend’s polish pal :) her OC. It was really pleasant to draw her!

I haven't seen many bodyguard type of prompts so...may I ask for one?

List of “so now I apparently have someone who’s supposed to protect me because I’m incapable of protecting myself” prompts

“I’ll protect you, I swear.” “Well, you’d better, because you’re not getting paid if I die.” 

“Now, why would they hire you as my bodyguard? You look like you’d break in half if someone so much as kicked you.” “Well, my blackbelt says otherwise.” 

“You have a soft spot for me, don’t you?” “I don’t.” “You answered too quickly for that to be the truth.”

“I didn’t realise you were this soft.” “I’m not soft.” “Sure, keep lying to yourself then.” 

“Don’t fucking die on me, I swear to God!” “…It’s literally a paper cut, I’m fine.” “Yeah, but— but a paper cut can still cause life threatening complications!” 

“People think you’re scary but really, you’re just a soft marshmallow, all soft and mushy on the inside and burnt on the outside.” “…Are you comparing me to a roasted marshmallow?” 

“I didn’t ask for you to protect me! I didn’t— I didn’t ask for any of this.” 

“I don’t want you getting hurt because of me anymore, so I’m firing you. You’ll no longer work for me.” “That’s not for you to decide. I’m staying right here until I’m absolutely sure you’ll be okay.” “…Why the hell do you have to be so stubborn? What part of I don’t want you getting hurt don’t you understand?!” 

“I think you can use those strong arms of yours to do plenty of other things with me, if you catch my drift.” 

“You’re paid to care about me, let’s not forget that, so don’t overstep your boundaries.” 

“I asked you to teach me how to defend myself, but how the fuck did we end up in this very weird and very compromising position and most important of all, why do I kind of like it?”

“Why the fuck are they standing in the room while we’re trying to get it on?” “Well, they’re… They’re supposed to be there to protect me so I can’t do much about it.” “What, so they’re just gonna watch us fuck?”

“You know you don’t have to keep watch over me all the time, right? Especially when I’m about to go to town with someone.” “They might end up harming you for all I know; I’m not risking it.”

“Just admit it: you’re jealous because I’m out here fucking around with other people and you don’t want that to happen.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I said get out of the way! What are you doing?!” “I can’t let you get hurt.” “And I can’t let you get hurt, either!”

“My job is to protect you so if you think I’m doing this because I care then you’re wrong.” “Don’t— you don’t mean that.” 

“You’re like, the only friend I have, even though you’re paid to be here. So, please don’t leave…”

“It’s not about the money anymore. It’s because I fucking care about you. So please, don’t tell me to leave, and please don’t tell me to not get hurt because I won’t be able to bear it if you’re the one who gets hurt.” 

“Why do you care, anyway?” “Because I’m kind of paid to do so and if I don’t, then I lose my job? And your family pays well, so…”

“Tell me you don’t feel the same way as I do.” “…I’m not supposed to feel the same way as you do.” 

“What are you doing?! Put me down!” “Not until you promise me you won’t run away again.” 

“Fuck! Why’d you kick me?! I was literally just injured—” “Don’t you fucking do that again, you asshole!” “But it’s my job—” “I don’t care, just stop getting injured because of me! How are you supposed to protect me if this keeps happening?!” “But that’s the point of what I do. It’s why I’m even here in the first place.” 

“I leave for five seconds and you end up in the hospital. Are you kidding me?” “Look, I thought I could climb that tree to save that poor kitten. I’ll have you know I was an agile kid back then!” “…My God, what am I going to do with you?” 

“I swear if you actually die—” “Relax, it’s just a bullet to the leg. I’ll survive.” “You idiot—”

“You’re stressing me the hell out and I’ve only been doing this for a week.” 

“How stupid are you?! You could have died!” “…Are you yelling at me right now?” “Only because I’m worried about you.” “Since when did you ever worry about me?” “Since the very fucking start, that’s when.” 

“Can you pretend to value your life for one goddamned second so I don’t have to constantly worry about you?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” “I’m tired. Can’t you piggyback me?” “No.” …. “You can never say no to me, can you?” “Shut up.”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone while I’m fucking crying?!” “…I’ve a feeling that’s the exact opposite of what you want.”

“God, why don’t you ever listen to me? Stay. Don’t go.”

“Why do I have a feeling you’ve never learned to ask for things nicely?”

“It was the danger of the situation which caused a sudden rush of adrenaline which caused me to kiss you so it didn’t actually mean anything!”

“I’m grateful to you for protecting me but I also want you to take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Fuck, wake up— I told you not to die for me—”

“…That goes beyond what a usual bodyguard would do and I think you’re well aware of that.”

“You sometimes make me feel like a damned babysitter.”

“You were hired to watch over me. You do realise that, right? So I want you to keep your eyes on me at all times.” 

“You’re always so gentle with me. Why? Do you think I’m that fragile?” 

“Since you’re responsible for my life anyway, why not become responsible for me as a whole?”

“Are we going to pretend like you didn’t confess to me because you thought I was dying?” “Well, you ended up okay so it doesn’t count. People say stupid things when they’re panicking.” 

“Why are you straddling me?” “Because I’m practicing self-defence?” “I can easily throw you off of me. You know that, right?” “But I know you wouldn’t.”

“You know I like it rough, right?” “…Excuse me?” “Well, considering the position we’re in, I think we can take advantage of that, no?” 

“This is strictly a client-customer relationship.” “That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”

“Your clumsiness is your biggest enemy at this point.” “I’m not that clumsy!” “This is the third time you’ve injured yourself this week.”

“Really, what are you going to do without me here, making sure you don’t accidentally knock yourself out?” 

“You want me to stay?” “Just… For tonight. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“You make me worry for everyone else’s safety.” 

“Can’t you stay?” “My job here is done. There’s no reason for me to stay—” “Not even for me?” 

“You need to let loose a little. Look at you! You’re so tense! How can you live like that?” … “Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t let loose too much. Lesson learned.” 

“You’re scaring everyone away!” “Well, it’s good to know I’m a natural threat eliminator.” 

“You were hurt because of me.” “As long as you’re safe then it doesn’t matter what happens to me.” 

“…I get you’re trying to take care of me but have you considered leaving me alone? I think I can recover quicker that way.” “But you nearly died protecting—” “I think I might actually die if I have to eat one more meal made by you.”

“I don’t get paid enough for this.” 

“You’re going to be the death of me and I mean that literally.” 

“I don’t need you.” “What happened just then proves you otherwise.” 

“You did not have to hit them that hard. They weren’t even a threat!” “You didn’t seem comfortable talking to them so I had to do something about it. It’s in my job description.” 

“How about I be your bodyguard for one day? Like, a role reversal thing?” “Not if I want us both to stay alive.” 

“Wait, why are you leaving?” “Because you’re about to change and I’m not going to stand around watching that happen.” “What if someone climbs through the window and tries to kill me? Will you take responsibility for that?”

”If you really do think of me as just your cliental or whatever the fuck you want to call me then there was no reason for you to kiss me that hard back there.”

“If you’re the one who protects me, then who’s going to protect you?” “I don’t need protecting, unlike some people. For one, I don’t trip over thin air on a daily basis.” “…You know what? Fuck you.” 

196 archive: April 2nd 2022

he eats

how tf should I draw her if she’s looking like that bruh why she looks like Melon from Beastars 💀💀💀💀

bro why there’s so much events in this sinful world

Country whumpers, anyone?

Idk I'm just guessing there has to be some farming and ranching whumpers out there. Have I seen any? No. Do I want to? Hell yes.

So here. Take these and run. I'm begging.

[Prompt Masterpost]

Strap whumpee to the tire of a tractor  - starfish style - and let them just hang out here and spinnn and spinnnn and spinnnnn while you’re doing chores in the morning. 

Tie whumpee to an electric Fence. The constant tick tick tick of pain won’t do much damage but will absolutely keep them from falling asleep. See how long it takes them to cry.

Barbed wire restraints.

Barbed wire stress positions.

Leave whumpee tied up outside. If it’s hot out, watch them dry up and blister and burn. If it’s winter, watch the heat leak from their body until they stop shivering. 

Using bits of whumpee’s flesh as fish bait. But hey, whumpee gets to eat fresh fish that night, so it’s a win win, right?

Soak a lariat in water and tie it around their neck - then to a tree branch, keeping them on their feet. As the rough fibers dry, they’ll constrict, strangling whumpee agonizingly slowly.

So many power tools, man. So many.

Make them square bale hay with you. That’s it. That’s the prompt. Basic farm work.

Ditch them miles from home and make them run/walk all the way back or there’ll be hell to pay.

Let whumpee help as target practice before hunting season. Hold still and you probably won’t get hurt~

Whumper practicing their skinning skills on whumpee.

Tie whumpee down a bit too close while welding something. Who cares if slag hits them? It’ll just melt into the skin and scar forever, it’s fineeeee.

Spritz random pesticides and chemicals on them to test if it’ll burn flesh or if you need to wear gloves. 

Make whumpee carry the wire across the creek when fixing creek gaps. Keep them bound, though. They don’t need hands for balance; it’s their own fault if the current sweeps them under. Tie the wire to them to drag them back out just in case. Tie it around their neck if they’ve been bad recently.

Cordless drill. Drill screws into the flesh.

Tie whumpee to the top of a cabless tractor while working to keep them in sight. They’ll burn terribly from the heat, but as long as they stay quiet and don’t distract you during chores, maybe you’ll be done before they cook like an egg up there.

Extra choke chain lying around. You know what to do.

Nail whumpee to the wall to keep them still while you work on a building project.

Toss whumpee into the [whatever you’re putting rocks into] while picking up rocks in the spring. Proceed to Not Care when every rock you toss thunks against whimpering flesh. The job’s done when they’re completely buried and you can go dump that load.

[Prompt Masterpost]

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