Kim Addonizio, “The Singing”, Tell Me

The lion's roar. The animal story book. 1904. Book cover.

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i’m looking at his natal chart. even though we aren’t together anymore, i can’t help myself. i’m still struggling to make sense of everything that has happened, but i’m slowly accepting distance as the reality. there’s just something about him.

we both have five planets in retrograde. his are the outers. i have venus, no saturn, plus chiron or something. i’ve always liked the fact i have a lot of retrograde planets, and most people don’t have more than one or two. our charts really are like a mirror.

i found the source for his violence and emotional power games. it’s his mars conjunct saturn, both in twelfth house. i admire him for that. since my sun is there, i’m no judge of the chaos the 12th house brings. i seem to live in it and enjoy it. our relationship was quite twelfth house after all.

but supposedly mars & saturn connections can bring a penchant for harshness and cruelty. quite frankly, that kinda turns me on. i do have a bunch of squares to my moon & pluto after all. i thought the arguments we had were fun. i have a gemini stellium and he has a gemini moon. it wasn’t fun and games for him though unfortunately.

i remember when i saw his qi energy one day in his back yard. qi energy is something i see on people sometimes, like their spirit energy. for him, it was a quick glimpse like the right side of his face was rotting. his eyeball was missing and it was like creepy. it was quite scary come to think of it, but somehow it transferred a light to me. and i don’t recall feeling too scared by it.

but after that, i began seeing a light in other peoples eyes occasionally. it was like a “hey, i’m here for you. i’m not judging you” kind of light. i think me seeing his qi energy gave me that light, to help me move forward when i get so depressed. and as i would come to find out, the 8th house is the house of “rot”. and he was my eighth house sun.

daddy am i’z smart

no you stoopid b*#€!@

no

Kye Christensen Knowles, "Double Self-Portrait", oil on canvas, 2022

what in the actual fuck.

i thought i had met the one. no, for real this time. i say that every time i meet a guy. i swear.

my chart

his

he was chubby, just my type, and we did the same drugs. grew up in the same part of town. he had a house and a job. bingo.

i ask if he knows his moon sign, he responds that he doesn’t know what it’s currently in. i had to ask him to repeat himself because of how disbelief i was in. i coulda melted there on the floor.

later he shows me his printed out natal chart and i examine it on his bed.

unfortunately i do our synastry chart and he only had one key aspect. most of my exes usually have more than one. first red flag, i ignore.

keep telling myself maybe he only has one because he’s the one key for me. even though the key aspect was a bad one.

he’s a cancer sun like me. my lilith is also in cancer and supposedly that means you attract the darker aspects of that sign. that would line up. his moon is in gemini, mine is in virgo. kinda at odds there. he constantly wanted to argue. like to the point where it didn’t make sense. like pulling arguments out of thin air and kept running out of ideas.

all his personal planets are in cancer. mine are in gemini. his moon is in libra 7th house, my uranus is in 7th house. i have a tattoo of uranus glyph on my ring finger because it’s my favorite planet for what it represents in astrology. supposedly moon in 7th makes needy for like constant social interaction and having people around. also adds up. he has a lot of friends, and he’d use that to hurt me.

he had pluto in 11th house. i have mars, mercury, and venus there. i really feel like he livened me up. helped me see a light and grow comfortable in my skin and environment. pluto is power and i definitely felt empowered.

my sun is in 12th house, his was in 8th. compatible houses. we talked about spirits and the occult. he told me he had seen a demon one time. it made me fall for him harder. i have a vacant 8th house so it really piqued my interest. i thought it was cute, sexy. an 8th house sun.

he had outer planets in the 12th house, and a bunch in his 1st and 2nd. i have a vacant 1st house. not my favorite house to be honest. could explain why he’s such a dick and ok with hurting others. i feel like first house is a self centered house.

2nd house, i have my moon there. another placement that makes sense. i thought i could make a home with him. i loved his home. i wanted to learn everything about him and spend years with him. i looked at him and saw a husband.

but it got so sour so fast. he wouldn’t let up. it makes me think he was sabotaging it, us. for reasons unknown. maybe he’s just a bpd narcissist and there’s no sense to make. maybe it’s cuz his ex died and his mother is also deceased. i have no clue. maybe it’s just because he’s a big ol bottom.

but i really thought he was the one. i hate that so much of his chart made sense, but i’ve felt like this before about someone. it really hurts having to constantly let go.

we also had north node and chiron conjunct. i thought that was interesting because not a lot of people have that placement ? or maybe they do ? but his were located in gemini in the 7th house. mine are located in libra in the 3rd house. isn’t that so ironic? it’s like it’s mirrored.

he was also born in 1984 which was so sexy to me because george orwell. but he is kinda small minded and i feel diminished my shine in some ways. im just so upset. this doesn’t make any sense to me.

if you’ve read this and have any observations or insight, i’d love to hear it.

Fairywitch

"Though destined to be a fairy, this creature chose the way of the witch instead."

Maya Kulenovic: Rain (Interior), 2017

sonia

Analysis of Ethel Cain's Natal Chart

Bonjour everybody,.

I've gotten a recent fascination, maybe even obsession, with Ethel Cain. She is probably the first musician that I've really felt like /gets me/. Like her songs, her lyrics, her vibes. Like it truly speaks to my soul. I actually discovered her from a youtube video suggested to me from the algorithm, but it wasn't even one of her songs. It was just a video of her talking about divinity and music and stuff and I just listened to it one afternoon and picked up strange, familiar resonances. Soon I'd listen to her music and fall in love with her. I feel like she gets it. She gets where I come from, growing up working class in the South.

I got the idea to do an analysis of her natal chart. I've been studying astrology for almost ten years now, so I'm just gonna spitball my observances for y'alls entertainment and consideration.

Alors, c'est parti.

Ok, so immediate impressions, we should start with her sun moon and rising, which are Aries Sun 5th house, Aquarius Moon 3rd house, with a scorpio rising. A 5th house sun makes sense to me, as well as all the other planetary energy here. The 5th house is the house of creative expression, leisure, children, recreation, and just like how one expresses their own ego and swagger through art or whatever. Think Leo. The fact she's a famous musician would make sense. She's expressing herself through her music. I think the Aries energy here probably made it come rather naturally to her. Fire signs just are themselves unapologetically in a way that I, a water/earth sign, admire. The Scorpio ascendant also makes sense to me. Y'all Ethel fans know a b**** scary. She's my little scorpio slytherin princess tbh. We love her for that. That's so scorpio. Intense, but refreshing. Another thing that sticks out to me is the North Node in Virgo 10th House. The north node is your life's destiny point, and the tenth house is the house of one's career, public image, and public life. It's like she was destined to be a public figure. Another part that sticks out to me is the fact that it is in Virgo. We all know a heavy theme in Ethel's music is growing up with a rigid, conservative religion. I feel like Virgo is a rather rigid, stiff sign. I have my moon in that sign so I would know ;) Having energy in the sixth house, or the house of virgo, also supports this. To speak on her moon, I don't have too many impressions other than maybe her moon being in the third house, the house of communication, would explain why she is so well spoken. She seems to articulate and express herself very well. Moon being in the sign of aquarius, which is a very far reaching sign, cast a wide net etc etc, would explain why she rose to fame so quickly with the Internet. The internet is a very aquarius thing.

Here are some clippits I got from the internet. I hope y'all enjoyed reading my interpretation. If you're reading this Ethel, I love u <3 and it's my dream you use one of my poems for a song one day. Feel free to check me out on instagram, @kedwardcook

XOXO