All Too Relatable

nadia et moi

le ciel

Koi no yokan: the feeling, when meeting someone for the first time, that falling in love with them is inevitable.

I've had an extremely turbulant emotional life, which I can attribute to many different astrological aspects + placements I have.

It's been strange coming to discover as I get older how much of my world is inside my head, though. How many times I've assumed something, had meltdowns, only to later find out 90% of it was in my own head.

Moon square mars, like my blog suggests. My other blog was sunsextilemoon, but after tumblr flagged my account for adult content, I figured it was best to start over so I could still have reach.

Moon square mars makes one passionate and headstrong. I read that it is similar to the relationship between Cancer and Aries. Cancer, the emotionally nurturing, sensitive, going head to head with the impulsive and self expressive Aries. Aries was always one of my least favorite signs. My sun is in cancer, and moon in virgo. I've always been surrounded by Saggitarius, that's my favorite sign. But I always saw aries as childish and insensitive. I had a roommate, coworker, and someone who has become a best friend who is an aries. So my aries prejudice has been tamed a bit.

I would attribute my intense anger problems to my moon square mars. I don't struggle with it so much anymore, but as a kid, if somebody accidentally hurt me, I would come back at them twice as hard. Like ruthless. I also constantly struggle, on a day to day basis, with this inner conflict between what I 'feel' like I need to do, vs what I want to do. I usually let want win. Sometimes I can get too lost in my feelings, I guess because of my 12th house sun.

Moon Square Pluto.

This aspect I think gets me in a lot of trouble. It's not intentional, of course. But I definitely feel the emotional block. I will be fine, things will be going alright, then out of nowhere, a wave will come and completely knock me off balance. I'll get so overwhelmed and almost hysterical. Sometimes just super moody. and then when it's over, I'm like, what the hell happened? there doesn't seem to be a concrete cause or trigger. It just happens. I'm 27 and it still just happens.

The 12th house placement I think is a blessing and a curse. I sense the strangest of things, and have spiritual gifts. but I've been to the psych ward more times than I can count, and my daddy a crackhead who is also a 12th house sun. I love him of course, but the 12th house energy is obvious. His house has a feeling of being a hut on a deserted island, yet it's in the middle of a subdivision surrounded by other houses. He just gives me tom hanks castaway vibes, even when he's surrounded by society.

I take various drugs and medications to help tame my turbulant emotions and achieve my goals. I do weed often, because it helps with my temper. I'm also extremely impatient. I feel like weed puts me in touch with my moon. You'd think that'd be a good thing, but when your moon squares your mars and your pluto, it can cause some problems.

I also have Sun Square Saturn, which quite honestly, is a PAINFUL placement.

I've had terrible, terrible, terrible depression for most of my life. Completely sucks the life out of me. Apparently saturn can deplete the energy of the sun, and I get depleted baby.

I went to a church service on time, and the preacher said something about "misery being a ship that needs to set sail, instead of being avoided" and that really healed me. I feel like I got so scared of my depression, my own mind and thoughts, I would run around manicly just doing WHATEVER I could so I would not feel that way anymore. I was so scared of it. But sometimes you just have to sit with yourself and your emotions, and grit your teeth.

In all I feel like my sun sextile my moon really saves me. It gives a balanced personality, since the ego and the emotional nature are in such harmony. It's funny because my dad, close friends, and boyfriends almost always have sun trine moon. My little sister also has sun sextile moon. If it weren't for this, I'd probably be much worse off...

Paris by night - Nice view. Alessandra Sironi, Eiffel tower

㞵阴阴

or were you all in a dream, amelie, amelie? tell me no // i almost lost it, i'll heal eventually. but faster if you're next to me, next to me

Astrological Generations ~ Uranus, Neptune & Pluto

~Uranus in Capricorn 1988-1996: the sub-generation capable of finding ways to capitalise on unique talents & create a demand only they can supply.Politically active & conscious. Conservative in progressiveness, likes to keep the wisdom of old in the new; maintains individual identity in identity politics

~Uranus in Aquarius 1995-2003: Desire to turn the world upside down and rattle every existing structure for the one that could be. Politically active & activist - often form friendships with likeminded individuals within these groups who believe in the same causes

~Uranus in Pisces 2003-2010: Blue/green/mermaid hair; low limb tattoos; neon black style. Experimental with belief systems, prefer individual pursuits such as the occult/astrology/tarot. High utopian ideals & compassionate conscience, want to change the world overnight

~Neptune in Aquarius 1998-2012:- Share the core wound of exile/ separation from humanity as a whole; don’t feel ‘normal’, or ‘like everybody else’ despite not knowing how it feels to be anybody else. Friendship/social groups are forms of redemption, often underpinned by a deeper spiritual urge and desperation to belong

~Pluto in Virgo 1957-1972: The generational legacy is the innovation of new practices, techniques & outcomes that transform the profession for decades to come- especially in health/wellness/tech sectors. Virgo/6th house rules domestic pets; this is the generation of every man with a dog

~Pluto in Libra 1972-1984: The generational legacy is the transformation of human relationships; a re-evaluation of ‘commitment’ -with significantly more importance placed on satisfying/intimate/truthful connections, and being able to walk away from compromising people and bad love

~Pluto in Scorpio 1984-1995: The generational legacy is uncovering of hidden, lost, and ancestral knowledge buried in the collective unconsciousness. These are the ones who recite the alphabet of symbols and the alchemic table, the Chemists & Sorceresses mixing old physical & psychic healing potions

~Pluto in Sagittarius 1995-2008: The generational legacy is the composition of new belief systems & castes of connection that provide the meaning, mysteries, & higher purposes that will carry the inner Spirit of humanity through the secular age

-Cherry