The Fun Thing About Anxiety Is I Can't Tell If I'm Sick Or If It's Just The Normal Urge To Puke From

why is nobody sliding down the backs of dinosaurs these days you guys love sliding down the backs of dinosaurs

Idea for a new profession. Anarchyologists. They go undercover as normal archeologists but then they take artifacts from one sight and move them to a completely different sight to confuse the actual archeologists.

Go to bed please and thank you.

Another day another "I was born after the year 2000, why do I have the back problems of a 78 year old man that had half his spine removed after getting mauled by a bear?"

it's not enough to just empower women. men need to come together and start dressing slutty, it's the only solution

A lot of people complimented my #1 Dad socks today and I appreciate that more than they will ever know

My manager likes to ask me really confusing and mildly vague questions and so one day I decided to ask one back and so I said, "What are your thoughts on antidisestablishmentarianism?" and he sat there for a second before giving me three very well thought out paragraphs of his stance on antidisestablishmentarianism. I have never been so destroyed and defeated.

Man, it's really so far outside the realm of possibility in my brain that somebody would like me back that I got rejected by a girl in MY OWN FUCKING DREAM. Granted, she was way out of my league, but still like wtf.

Never thought that I'd be cackling like a mad scientist at the prospect of going to bed early, but here I am.

Jason: Oh my God, Tim, what is wrong with you?

Tim: Well, I'm autistic to start with-

Jason: That's not what I meant.

Dick: Damian’s autistic too.

Damian, squinting: What is an autistic and why am I it

Jason:

Tim:

Dick:

Damian: What

Dick: Did Bruce genuinely never get you diagnosed? Or explain why you're so much like him?

Damian: Diagnosed? I'm not ill. And I am like Father because I'm his son.

Tim: This. Explains so much

Damian: So much of what?

Jason, marveling: He's just like Bruce.

Dick: Buddy, we need to take you to a specialist.

Damian, stubbornly: I'm not ill.

Tim: I've got a powerpoint-

Dick, jabbing Tim in the stomach: Of course you're not ill! You're just different!

Jason: This is giving me flashbacks to when we got Dick his ADHD diagnosis.

Damian: What is an ADHD

Dick:

Dick: I give up. Tim, pull up your PowerPoint on autism. I trust you've got one on ADHD too?

Tim: Yeah. Anxiety and depression too, if we're counting all of our mental illnesses.

*Four hours later*

Damian: Father, I think you should seek professional help for your numerous mental health problems. Also I believe I should get screened for autism