Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

Zombie apocalypses are curiously lacking a large array of common equipment that could neatly control the situation.

“But we can’t build walls to contain them!”

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

Moves by truck, train or boat. Ridiculously common. And see those holes on the bottom? Mobile by forklift. Also, HEAVY, even when empty they’re in the tons. If you had some warning you could string these things end to end for miles and human bodies can’t move them. Plus they’re nice and wide so you can comfortably walk on top of them for patrols.

“But we don’t have easy ways to kill them!”

Put the shotgun down you fucking idiot.

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

No tires to pop. Heavy and slow but inevitable. Climbing required to enter and thus, relatively zombie proof, especially if you spend like an hour to protect the glass.

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

A lot of large farming equipment can destroy cars.

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

Want to guess what it’d do to a decaying human body? It’s not pretty.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Merely flattening them with common construction equipment or farming gear isn’t enough.

How about a

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

tree trimmer that can mulch a tree top to bottom in nothing flat?

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

OM NOM NOM NOM.

“But we need ways to move a lot of people that zombies can’t stop!”

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER. Deer don’t have a chance and neither does a zombie.

“But that’s not good enough!”

Zombie Apocalypses Are Curiously Lacking A Large Array Of Common Equipment That Could Neatly Control

NOW it’s time to call our friend the military because this ride stops for no one.

Do I need to keep going or is it clear the movies are bullshit yet? Seriously a dozen prepared people with heavy equipment licenses could clear an entire street of zombies AND powerwash it after.

More Posts from Monsterhigh-fanatic and Others

6 years ago

Unsettling,,,

Unsettling,,,
6 years ago

@multiplefandomsfangirl

Reblog The Goth Dab To Get A Goth Gf
Reblog The Goth Dab To Get A Goth Gf

Reblog the goth dab to get a goth gf

1 month ago
monsterhigh-fanatic - Y R U Here???

Hello Mare, How goes the trickery? I require the good chemicals. I must know.

Well it could have gone much better, but I have been learning more new tricks. I am very much looking forward to the mischief I will be able to get up to now. Maybe I'll see if I can bother Dark some.

Would that bring you some of the good chemicals?

6 years ago
Did I Do This Right?

Did I do this right?

template: @kasper-the-ghost

7 years ago

A little dark thought at midnight...

(Which is the perfect time to entertain dark thoughts…)

Anybody else thinking that, while the Youtuber fandom is blowing up over even the tiniest hints of Anti’s possible return (because the glitch is a little attention whore who loves watching everybody lose their shit)… 

Dark is, meanwhile, sitting in the shadows and calmly adjusting his cuff-links… smug in the knowledge that HIS devotees are also waiting on pins and needles… and they won’t know what hit them.

Especially with Markiplier’s pretty low-key acknowledgment via Twitter that he’s got (and I quote) “something really special” coming down the pipeline, as appreciation for hitting the 18 million subscriber milestone. (And, apparently, the last time Markimoo said something like that, A Date with Markiplier was released. QED.)

Otherwise, all’s been strangely quiet in the Teamiplier sphere. Too quiet. Like the quiet you get before a hurricane hits. And there’s only one alter-ego with the force to knock us all on our collective asses like Superstorm Sandy.

Dark’s the king of manipulation, the grand chessmaster of toying with people’s minds, lives and emotions. The feeding-frenzy Anti’s caused is probably something he considers child’s play… a youthful diversion and no more.

Dark wants more than mere attention. He wants to OWN us.

But don’t ask if he’ll be back… because he never truly left…

A Little Dark Thought At Midnight...
6 years ago

I can't breath-

Would sleeping with a centaur be considered bestiality?

6 years ago

Great post but is that mayonaise???

How to unnecessarily comment on a post about race as a White Ally™

“This is a real problem!” or “I can confirm that this is true!” because I guess us saying it’s a problem is not enough and we need your confirmation that we’re not making it up?

“As a white person…” if you’re saying that combination of words anywhere, please stop immediately. Especially if it comes right before a confirmation that we’re actually not lying and have received your White Stamp Of Approval™ (see point 1).

Any unnecessary affirmation of Yes, I Am white. Yes, I Support You (Because I’m That Great). Such as one I recently got that started with point 1, followed by point 4, and then… “much love from a white girl!”

REGURGITATING WHAT WE JUST SAID. USUALLY STUPIDLY AND MISSING THE ENTIRE POINT.

Writing an essay on the tags.

Talking about how Appalled you are that Fellow Whites would do That (and you totally never have).

“It took me three years to understand this, it seems it was written in some Alien language, but once I deciphered these Confusing, Barbaric and Strange strings of words, I have officially concluded that op is right.” You sound like a fucking scientist analyzing an animal species new to you. And DON’T cry “ableism!!!!!” I’m autistic. I can’t read long text either, my brain shuts down or flies off into the ether. I still don’t fucking go around telling, say, trans women that they speak as if they were from another universe but I was enough of an Ally to read it anyway while stressing how hard it is to understand them. You all usually do it to any post longer than three paragraphs with NO jargon that is very straightforward.

Criticizing and nitpicking tone or vocabulary that You Personally didn’t fancy, including putting words in our mouths that we never fucking said.

Adding a “take it from a white person!” to point 1. Why can’t they just take it from us.

Please just learn to zip it sometimes. It’s like you can’t stand for us to have more spotlight than you for five minutes and that you resent what we say so you end up being condescending. Please, stfu sometimes.

You especially love doing this to woc.

How To Unnecessarily Comment On A Post About Race As A White Ally™
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monsterhigh-fanatic - Y R U Here???
Y R U Here???

24 years of age, libra, idc what probouns u use. Call me Bob Ross for all I care. Also I'm one of those thirsty bitches who run the ParchedLips blog.

251 posts

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