Moderatelypuppy - Fee🐝

need to be fucked until I'm stupid again it's been so long and I need it

"i hate microlabels" yeah i also kind of dislike the idea of putting ourselves and our identities into very specific boxes, i think it can be really isolating- ohh wait you mean you think they're invalid. ohh no that's not the way to look at it. killing you

don't care + running + jumping + skipping + hopping + having fun + playing

pretty little girl i can manhandle and throw around <3

The only correct way to talk to transbians:

Compliment them immediately. Doesn’t matter if it’s their outfit, their voice, their eyes—just make sure they know they’re hot. Bonus points if they get flustered.

Use their yearnings as a second language. If you’re not at least a little dramatic about how breathtakingly beautiful they are and how you’d absolutely perish if they so much as brushed their fingers against your cheek, are you even trying?

Tease them just enough to make them squirm. A little playful banter, a well-placed “Oh? You like that?” and suddenly they’re blushing and looking away, which is exactly the desired outcome.

Be gay. Be so gay. Every sentence should be at least 30% flirting, 50% sapphic pining, and 20% sheer lesbian chaos.

Remind them they’re gorgeous, wanted, and absolutely irresistible. Because they are. And they should know it.

it’s all fun and games until i get called a pet name and suddenly i can’t think anymore

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.